9/11
Bill Scannell has suffered many Alaskan indignities for Wonkette since the ridiculous rise of snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin, but Saturday night’s rip-off 9/11-palooza was, as he reports, a total fraud.
You probably forgot about Crustaceans-in-a-bun, didn’t you? That is shameful. Thank you to the nameless wonkette hero (let’s just go with “anonymous Outraged Arthropod”) who stumbled across this Lobster Roll Reminder during the 9/11 “3rd Ave. street fair.”
Our brave correspondent in Anchorage continues to send strange dispatches and stranger images to the Wonkette Newsroom, despite the fact that the Wonkette Newsroom is asleep because Alaska is apparently under Japanese Time. But what is the explanation for this picture, Bill Scannell? “The NineEleven Bunny made an appearance. The ground is thick with bitter [...]
Wonkette Northern Terrortories Warblogger Bill Scannell is with the Death/Christ Cult tonight, awaiting the biggest 9/11 pornography event ever to be held half a world away from either the NYC/Pentagon/Pennsylvania sites of the terrorism or the Middle Eastern homelands of the terrorists. Surely this will be the most irrelevant 9/11 Celebration ever!
We realize that today is 9/11 Eve, and you are planning on spending your evening with friends and family in merriment. Sadly, this has become such a commercialized holiday, and it’s important to remember the little things that make 9/11 so special. The true meaning of 9/11 is that it handed George W. Bush a [...]
It’s September 11 Eve, everybody! Have you figured out how you’re going to honor tomorrow yet? Maybe you will listen to Lee Greenwood and meditate on where you were when 9/11 was born, in a manger (your Lauri was in Austin, eating breakfast tacos). Will you burn a votive candle? Just make sure it’s not [...]
Happy 9/11 airspace, everybody. And remember that if we don’t fight them (our own robot drone bomb-droppin’ planes) over there, we will surely have to shoot them down over DC, eventually, when they come back home to find “Mother.” The AP reports today: WASHINGTON — The U.S. military almost launched fighter jets and discussed a [...]
Need something to send back to all the hick-jackholes sure to send you maudlin bullshit Never Forget crying eagle gifs tomorrow? We made you a chart of math science! Methodology: We combined the 2001-2010 figures for “U.S. gun deaths” (30,000 annually) and “U.S. automobile fatalities” (379,000 over nine years) to make a second WTC tower [...]
Now that Terry Jones is apparently Florida’s #1 Muslin-loving chickenshit, the question still remains: Is there a more respectful way to showcase one’s deep-seated hatred of the Muslim faith, or is burnin’ some Queerans at your trailer park swamp church on 9/11 really the proper way to go, as far as “etiquette” is concerned? Americans [...]
The terrorists and their Constitution have won again! Local dingbat “the Reverend Terry Jones” has decided to cancel his super-fun 9/11 carnival, probably after mysterious special-ops American Military Assassins in Black Suits visited his mobile home and threatened to rip off his little wiener and let him bleed to death in a dumpster behind a [...]
What’s that sociopath New Republic editor Marty Peretz up to these days, in terms of how much he hates the motherfucking Arabs, who he KNOWS are not even human, because come on, Arabs? This week, hate-sack Marty Peretz (whose mom was an Arab) says Americans of Arab descent are not “worthy of the privileges of [...]
David Paterson has blown the timeout whistle on all the constructive dialogue about the 9/11 Mosk. You have one week to eat orange slices and drink Gatorade and spray paint new hilariously misspelled signs, and then the “debate” resumes! The governor, fed up with the constant mosque chatter (which is showing no signs of letting [...]
