• Al-Qaeda is celebrating the eight year anniversary of 9/11 by being impotent, broke, and mired in petty bureaucratic struggles. [The Guardian]
• Democrats don’t want to send more troops to Afghanistan, despite Obama wanting this more than anything else in the world, basically. [New York Times]
• Turns out that human beings can beat THE SWINE with one preventative shot, not two, which means twice as many pregnant gals, seniors, and babies (the “at risk groups”) will be able to avoid getting the flu. [New York Times]
• Here is your comprehensive Joe Wilson Exegesis, complete with South Carolina Civil War-to-Segregation Fun Facts. Joe Wilson actually comes from a storied political lineage of retards, is the point. [Washington Post]
• To little fanfare, Motorola has unveiled its new Google phone thing and literally no one cared enough to buy more Motorola stocks. Terrible, simply terrible. [Reuters]
• GM has everything to lose and nothing to gain from its new “May the Best Car Win”-themed PR strategy. [AP]

OKAY, ONE MORE PELOSI ANIMATED GIF: Nothing will ever compete with the 21st Century pop-art masterpiece that is today’s Wall of Pelosi animated gif seizure triumph, but we could not let this final submission vanish down the Memory Hole of Socialism, so here you go, and good night, and Happy September the Eleventh Eve! Make sure to leave out some pedophilia literature to distract the old Republican guys who will bust into your house tonight and try to scare everybody to death! [Thanks to Wonkette operative "David D."]

IMPORTANT 9/11- AND WHOOPI GOLDBERG-RELATED INFORMATION: Next up on Rudy Giuliani’s eight-year September 11th press junket: an appearance on The View, on 9/11! Never forget… to set your DVRs. [Ben Smith]

Poor Matthew Cooper! The former Time reporter and current Josh Marshall slave or Atlantic slave or whatever has made the mistake of comparing the atmosphere on Martha’s Vineyard right now to that of New York City on 9/11. He will be apologizing on Twitter all day, so stop on by! We feel sorry for Cooper, though, if he thinks of freaking 9/11 every time a famous person dies on a nice weather day. [Twitter]

Not since the Grinch stole Jesus’ Birthday from the tiny hydrocephalic aliens of Whoville has a figure of evil so blatantly tried to fuck a precious holiday to death: Barack Obama wants to make September 11 some kind of evil, patriotic day of remembering the terrorist attacks by doing something for America. It is exactly like he individually piloted all of those jets into those buildings, and knocked them down! MORE »

• CONGRESSMAN INSULTS MEMORY OF FIREFIGHTERS & NYC COPS & GIULIANI FROM 9/11: Democratic Rep. Collin Peterson of Minnesota is in “hot water” for telling The Politico, awesomely, that “25 percent of my people believe the Pentagon and Rumsfeld were responsible for taking the twin towers down. That’s why I don’t do town meetings.” Okay, but what does the insane 75% believe? [Star Tribune]

Did you know that back in 2002 charming Dr. Strangelove extra Dick Cheney wanted to deploy American troops to Buffalo, New York? Little known outside the nightmares of national security insiders, Buffalo, or “جاموس ” is a remote hellscape in Kashmir ruled by tribal warlords and their thuggish philosopher-king, Vincent Gallo. It was also the home of the “Lackawanna Six,” a group of terrorism suspects who Cheney wanted to arrest in spite of (because of??) the lack of evidence against them. MORE »

PBS stations need tons of money these days, what with the present economic hardships and all, so Colorado’s KBDI affiliate rented out a long segment of its annual pledge drive to some 9/11 Truth group talkin’ ’bout “AMERICA: Freedom to Fascism.” The KBDI lady looks very uncomfortable! And later, on KBDI’s website, a “coincidental notice” appeared: “Digital Update: KBDI’s analog broadcast has been discontinued due to antenna damage. You can view the KBDI digital signal at low power now on frequency 38.” BLAME LIKUD. [Slog]

Even after all these years, we’re still shocked that a popular television host can be so morally bankrupt as to take this passage from Barack Obama’s speech — “I’m aware that there’s still some who would question or even justify the events of 9/11. But let us be clear: Al Qaeda killed nearly 3,000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people, claimed credit for the attack, and even now states their determination to kill on a massive scale. They have affiliates in many countries and are trying to expand their reach. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” — but cut it off after the first sentence and tell his audience that Barack Obama “decided to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” At least make your comedy show funny, Sean. [Washington Monthly]

Good christ but this guy is a terrifying shit-monster — a leering death clown who is supposed to go away, but cannot, because he is the world’s biggest asshole. Thanks, Dick Cheney, for reminding us how to hate again. Here are the main lies from his foul hymn to Satan today. [Talking Points Memo]

Here’s some service-y journalism for you, so you can enjoy everybody else screaming and otherwise going nuts after midnight, when Air Force fighter jets begin a two-night assault on Washington’s fragile psyche. “A pair of F-16 fighter jets are scheduled to make periodic passes over downtown Washington at relatively low altitudes early tomorrow and again in the predawn hours Wednesday as part of a military exercise,” the Washington Post reports just late enough in the day for nobody to hear the news. Luckily nobody ever freaks out when huge scary low-flying roaring jets just pointlessly scare the shit out of everybody in the middle of the night. [Washington Post]