ALL OF THIS IS FACTUAL TRUTH: “So thank fucking christ that the Commander in Chief is no longer subjecting the nation to death porn. No, this year it’s limited to a nutty little cult leader on basic cable who is encouraging his radicalized band of fanatical followers to invade the cities where the tragedy actually happened in order to shock the populace back into fear. Glenn Beck is an actual terrorist, and the people attending his rally in DC tomorrow are al-Qaeda in America.” [Alex Pareene]

For about five weeks after 9/11, media people who had spent the previous decade jabbering about Monica Lewinsky and “Hillary Care” and O.J. Simpson and Pets.com and the Macarena and Krispy Kreme suddenly decided “everything changed” when some lousy terrorists did what they did and killed some 3,000 people who just happened to be flying on passenger planes or working in office buildings on that day. Well, no. MORE »

Not since the Grinch stole Jesus’ Birthday from the tiny hydrocephalic aliens of Whoville has a figure of evil so blatantly tried to fuck a precious holiday to death: Barack Obama wants to make September 11 some kind of evil, patriotic day of remembering the terrorist attacks by doing something for America. It is exactly like he individually piloted all of those jets into those buildings, and knocked them down! MORE »

(Every year on this rotten day, we repeat this beloved 9/11 feature, sort of like how “A Charlie Brown Christmas” plays on the teevee every December.) On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally restoring energy and defense stocks to the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism. MORE »

MSNBC set up their “studio” in a dirty park full of dead grass and trash, just north of the Xcel sports arena. There are bums sitting around, and dogs exposing their penises while supporting John McCain, and it’s hot and humid like it is outside, here, and the 9/11 truthers scream at him during broadcasts, and it just sucks. So Olbermann refused to come to St. Paul at all. He’s sitting in New York or New Jersey or wherever, with green-screen video of some St. Paul street scene. [Gawker]

HOORAY: Manhattan’s favorite opera-loving mafia-obsessed fascist abortionist and thrice-married cross-dressing dandy Rudy Giuliani is pretty much finished as a GOP presidential candidate, lagging behind McCain, Huckabee and probably even Ron Paul. [Telegraph]