Tag Archives: 9/11

  Hmmmm is something ELSE happening in 2016?

GOP Will Release Benghazi Report In 2016 To Help Hillary Clinton, Obviously

Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-Benghazi!!111!) went on the Fox News Greta Van Susteren program and dropped a surprising bombshell about the House’s top secret investigation into Benghazi:  The report probably won’t be released until 2016, right smack in the middle of the election. Huh! Gowdy says it’s silly to suggest the GOP-controlled committee is doing this to try to hurt Hillary Clinton, because “[t]hat assumes the report would be critical of [Clinton] and I don’t make that assumption because we’re still in the process of gathering facts.” See? It’s just normal stuff, Republicans investigating Benghazi for the 80 gazillionth time, and they don’t even know what they’re going to find! Probably the same big nothing all the other investigations found, but pay that no mind. Gowdy continued: Read more on GOP Will Release Benghazi Report In 2016 To Help Hillary Clinton, Obviously…
  Does He Dare To Eat A Peach?

Let’s All Watch Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza Whine About His Martyrdom While Strolling The Beach

We do not think the mermaids sing to him
Just in case you’ve been wondering how professional victim and convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza is handling the horrors of being a Political Prisoner in Obama’s America, Vanity Fair has released an exciting video to pimp their big profile of D’Souza in their May issue. It’s pretty rad, also quite possibly gnarly, and it may indeed be the most fetch thing you’ll see all day! Read more on Let’s All Watch Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza Whine About His Martyrdom While Strolling The Beach…
  Load Up On Guns And Bring Your Friends -- Again

Ted Cruz Loves Good Old Country Music Because 9/11 And Also Pandering

‘John, let’s do a shot for the warden.’ And for the junior Senator from Texas.
Now this is some carefully targeted pandering! In an interview with CBS This Morning, Ted Cruz explained that the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, completely changed his taste in music, apparently because classic rock failed to meet his anger needs: Read more on Ted Cruz Loves Good Old Country Music Because 9/11 And Also Pandering…
  Joe Arpaio Better Watch His Back

Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!

Meet your 2020 Republican primary contender, America
David Clarke is the sheriff of Milwaukee County in Wisconsin, and he has been a hero to Wingnut America ever since he ran radio ads a couple years back encouraging people to arm themselves instead of calling 911. On Tuesday, he played to his real constituency, the Fox News audience, when host Brian Kilmeade asked Clarke to comment on yet another shooting of a black suspect by a police officer, and instead launched into a rant against the NAACP and single black mothers. Read more on Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!…
  2015 Looking A Lot like 2014

Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times

You just can't go wrong with Chief Wiggum
The police chief of Peachtree City, Georgia, accidentally shot his wife early in the morning of New Year’s Day. Initial reports of the shooting had said that Chief William E. McCollom had shot Margaret McCollom twice, which really would be a hell of an accident, but a correction issued by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation clarified that the “initial reports that we got from the 911 call” were in error. Chief McCollum had called 911 to report that he’d shot his wife, but it’s unclear whether the inaccurate report of two shots came from him or the 911 dispatcher. We guess in all the excitement, he kind of lost track himself. Read more on Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times…
  Never ever seriously NEVER forget

2014: The Year We Still Hated George W. Bush, And You Can Too!

Still not over it
Sure, it has been many years since George Dubya Bush occupied the White House, which he stole, YES HE DID. But that doesn’t mean our fierce and fiery hatred of his presidency should end any time soon. In 2014, while he was emailing his nudie self-portraits to his sister (ewwwwww, dude, GROSS) and clearing brush and trying not to choke on pretzels and pretending he’s too dignified to criticize the current president — while not saying squat as his vice president says ALL THE WORST THINGS, gosh, how convenient — George continued to give us plenty of reasons to keep on keeping on with the despising of him and his presidency and, screw it, his little dog too. Read more on 2014: The Year We Still Hated George W. Bush, And You Can Too!…
  Here have some news n stuff

War In Afghanistan Is Kind Of Over Now, Hooray Or Something!

Glad that's all behind us now
Remember that time we went to war in Afghanistan? Yeah, well, apparently that’s sort of over now, technically speaking. On Sunday, President Obama issued a statement declaring that We Won Woo Hoo! — or, more accurately, we’ve concluded our “combat mission.” We’ve come to understand this means we’ve won the war enough that we can share a collective celebratory high five, but we reserve the right to un-win the war, just in case it doesn’t stick. Because that’s how the U.S. of A rolls now. Read more on War In Afghanistan Is Kind Of Over Now, Hooray Or Something!…
  Get [REDACTED]!

CIA Lady Was Worst Spy Ever, Got Promoted To King Of Torture

Not that the CIA was as competent about these guys
Just when we’d thought we’d heard all the worst from the Senate’s report on the CIA’s torture program, along comes even more. Not only did the CIA do some pretty horrific stuff that violated the law without gaining any significant intelligence, it also turns out that one of the key players in the program appears to have been stunningly bad at her job — and kept getting promoted. In fact, it appears that her dismal performance was one reason for the CIA’s refusal to allow the Intelligence Committee report to identify people by pseudonym: It would have made it too easy to recognize that one top official had screwed up again and again. Read more on CIA Lady Was Worst Spy Ever, Got Promoted To King Of Torture…
  Grey Lady To Be Renditioned To Black Site

New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System

The New York Times editorial board ran an editorial Monday calling for the prosecution of those who ran the CIA’s torture program, proving that they are a bunch of hopeless romantics who believe in justice. They aren’t especially hopeful, noting that President Obama has shown virtually no interest in actually prosecuting anyone for torturing some folks, but bless them, they make the case anyway: Read more on New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System…
  What’s more American than rectal hydration with mom’s apple pie?

Not At All Shocking New Poll Proves Torture Is Totally An American Value, Actually

It's not wrong when America does it
It’s a good thing we finally got the summarized and redacted truth about the CIA’s torture program so Americans would, at long last, be able to express their informed indignation and demand some accountability. Read more on Not At All Shocking New Poll Proves Torture Is Totally An American Value, Actually…
  Maybe they hate us for our stupid

Donald Trump And Fox & Friends: It’s Cool, Sydney Hostage-Takers, CIA Was ‘Just Following Orders’

YOOOOGE idiots
You may be aware of a hostage situation in a Lindt chocolate shop in Sydney, Australia. Because it appears to be politically motivated, and the gunmen have reportedly displayed an ISIS (or Muslim or Those People, who knows!) flag in the window, it is therefore the perfect opportunity for the idiots at Fox & Friends to invite Expert On All Things Donald Trump to explain this situation, and of course how it is further evidence that America now sucks, thanks a lot, Obama! Trump is an expert on Those People, and as the Fox hosts point out, he also lives near a Lindt chocolate shop. So he’s got that added personal insight. Read more on Donald Trump And Fox & Friends: It’s Cool, Sydney Hostage-Takers, CIA Was ‘Just Following Orders’…
  How can we miss you if you don't stay away?

Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something

Dick Cheney auditions for a reboot of
Sunday was a good day for the bookers on a couple of those political chat shows where Washington’s power brokers yap at each other in brazen displays of verbal hand jobbery. It’s not every week that the president and vice president of the previous administration both make appearances, but with last week’s release of the Senate’s torture report, both men might have been feeling the need to defend their legacy a bit. Surely there would be some tough questions and intense showdowns. Read more on Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something…
  same as it ever was

Bobby Jindal Sorry God Had To Punish Gays With All Those Tornadoes

Which Bobby is he today?
Louisiana Gov. and would-be Republican presidential candidate Bobby Jindal is getting ready for a great big prayer rally in January, featuring a whole bunch of top-flight fundagelicals who also showed up at Rick Perry’s major Pray-a-Palooza in 2011. Among the Fun Dementalists attending will be anti-gay activist David Lane and Doug Stringer, who organized Rick Perry’s event a few years back. (Right Wing Watch points out that Mr. Stringer likes to call himself an “apostle” and once explained that God did 9/11 because America stopped believing in Him.) Read more on Bobby Jindal Sorry God Had To Punish Gays With All Those Tornadoes…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Did The CIA Really Need To Do All That Torture To Protect America? (Video)

Might be making an excellent point about something, might be a Motown back-up singer
In his press conference on the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on torture, CIA Director John Brennan acknowledged that interrogators did some things that were “abhorrent and rightly should be repudiated by all,” but also explained that it was a crazy time and everybody was just doing the best they could to Protect America. Read more on Morning Maddow: Did The CIA Really Need To Do All That Torture To Protect America? (Video)…
  Rectally Infused Excuses

CIA Chief: Torture Is Bad, We Shouldn’t Do It, Now Please Shut Up About It

It's an art, apparently
CIA Director John Brennan held a press conference today to respond to the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on torture during the Bush administration, and he gave a very clear message: The CIA is good, torture is bad, it’s hard to say whether torture led to useful intelligence, but it definitely helped find Osama bin Ladin, and it was a long time ago so can we please just look to the future please? Read more on CIA Chief: Torture Is Bad, We Shouldn’t Do It, Now Please Shut Up About It…
  Tortured Logic 2: Electric (Shocks To The Genitals) Boogaloo

Dick Cheney Throws George W. Bush Under War Criminal Bus

Dick Cheney, the dark lord who makes Satan himself cringe, wants you to know a few things about that Senate report on torture that he has not read but knows is not only “hooey” but also “full of crap.” Read more on Dick Cheney Throws George W. Bush Under War Criminal Bus…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Surprise, CIA Torture Program Was Run By Idiots (Video)

Poinsettias and torture reports go together so well
Rachel Maddow started off her Tuesday show with one of those Historical Context pieces she’s so fond of, and it was a doozy: the story of Yuri Nosenko, the KGB agent who defected to the USA in 1964. Despite Nosenko’s having worked as a double agent and then voluntarily giving the CIA a trove of information, the agency — hoping to get the real truth on Lee Harvey Oswald — tortured Nosenko from 1964 to 1967, eventually deciding he’d been truthful after all. Then they gave him a nice pension, a new identity, and a new life somewhere in America. He died in 2008. You’d think maybe the CIA might have learned something about the value of torture in getting useful intelligence. But no, instead we got the Bush administration’s torture program, the subject of yesterday’s Senate Intelligence Committee report. Read more on Morning Maddow: Surprise, CIA Torture Program Was Run By Idiots (Video)…
  Rectal Infusions Of American Exceptionalism

Fox News Explains America Is The Best, So Who Cares About Torture?

This isn't about democracy, this is about politics. Which Democracy doesn't need.
The nice folks at Fox News are pretty darn angry about the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on the CIA’s post-9/11 torture program, but not about anything revealed in the report. No, the great patriots at Fox are mostly angry that the report is being released at all, especially at a time when it will distract from the very important appearance of Obamacare Archfiend Jonathan Gruber, who’s testifying before a House panel today. Obviously, the Dems are just trying to cover up the War Crimes of the Affordable Care Act by nattering on about some Muslims who got their feelings hurt. OK, and at least one guy who was a case of mistaken identity died of hypothermia, and two other guys who were tortured even though they had already worked as CIA informants. But they never called the American people stupid, now did they? You see, it’s all about priorities. Let’s see how Fox Fair And Balanced the shit out of the torture report today! Read more on Fox News Explains America Is The Best, So Who Cares About Torture?…
  What Part Of 'Don't Torture' Is So Hard To Get?

Does John McCain Really Have To Remind You About Torture Again, You A**holes?

You wouldn't like him when he's angry. OK, or any other time.
We are, on the whole, not huge fans of John McCain here at Yr Wonkette. There’s the angry mood swings — mostly from one variety of anger to another; the petulance; the desire to bomb America’s way to greatness again; and of course the fact that he inflicted that vice-presidential candidate of his on America. But for all that, we’ll also give him credit for having always been solid on why America shouldn’t use torture: not only does it not work, it’s just plain un-American. If there’s one thing he actually earned from those FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ALAN, it’s credibility on the topic of torture. Read more on Does John McCain Really Have To Remind You About Torture Again, You A**holes?…
  tortured logic

Dick Cheney Gives Torture Five Stars, Would Torture Again

Is this image hyperbolic? It might be a little hyperbolic.
The Senate Intelligence Committee released its much-anticipated report on the Bush administration’s CIA torture program today, and it’s a pretty big deal. If we’re to believe Fox News, it might be as inflammatory as that “Innocence of Muslims” video that sparked riots all over the Muslim world, except not in Benghazi. Read more on Dick Cheney Gives Torture Five Stars, Would Torture Again…
  Your Morning Maddow

There’s A Secret Train Station Under The Waldorf-Astoria, And Rachel Maddow Loves It (Video)

Delighted Rachel Is Delighted
Rachel Maddow loves this story so much she can hardly stand it. Just before the Crash of 1929, a “last bit of Gilded Age Amazement” was announced in the New York Times: The then-new Waldorf-Astoria hotel would include its very own underground rail siding, where the filthy rich could arrive in their private railroad cars and be escorted directly to a special elevator to their suites. Read more on There’s A Secret Train Station Under The Waldorf-Astoria, And Rachel Maddow Loves It (Video)…
  One Ringy Dingy

Arkansas Hero Lady Bans Muslims From Gun Range So They Can’t Cut Off Your Head

The tinny tones of Jihad!
In a world where scary Muslims are cutting off heads every few minutes, and where scary Muslims are also just generally being scary all the time, it only makes sense to be scared of Muslims, and to keep your business safe from them. That’s why Jan Morgan, owner of the Gun Cave Indoor Firing Range in Hot Springs, Arkansas, has declared her business to be a “Muslim-Free Zone.” She has a pretty good reason, too, which we’re sure will be very convincing to anyone who tries to argue that Title II of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 might apply to her business: Read more on Arkansas Hero Lady Bans Muslims From Gun Range So They Can’t Cut Off Your Head…