4th of july

Happy 4th of July! Are you an American? Great! Then I can tell you everything you need to know about yourself, based exclusively on your Sun Sign. If you are not an American, stop reading RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, because this is American Astrology (TM), not Commie Foreign Astrology Shit Crap. Seriously, this is for […]

After cancelling his plans for a Thousand Moron March, minor irritant and ardent student of Gandhi Adam Kokesh did the thing he does best: sought publicity. Here he is loading a shotgun in Freedom Plaza in Washington, D.C., just a few blocks from the White House, while warning that he is “the final American revolution.” […]

Oh golly guys, Bette Midler tweeted this thing on the Fourth of July, she must Hate America almost as much as that Chris Rock guy!

Courtesy of David Graham at the Atlantic, here is video of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg just barely making his way through a speech on the occasion of the annual 4th of July Coney Island hot dog eating contest. The lame puns, strung together like so many old-timey frankfurters in a Marmaduke cartoon, leave him […]

One of the nicer Independence Day traditions in this country is the swearing-in of new citizens by the President of the USA. Jaded though we may be in this modern age of instant worldwide communications, 24-hour news cycles, and flying robotic kittycat death drones, we nevertheless actually get a little misty-eyed at the idea that, […]

By the Comics Curmudgeon Birthdays are always a riot when you’re young, right? The cake … the presents … the party … it’s your day, and your parents are the ones who organize the whole thing. But as you grow older, your birthday becomes more melancholy, eventually representing both an occasion where you have to […]

We sent Intern Riley straight into the ample belly of the Teabagging Beast, so we will allow this ONE (1) departure into first-person singular on your “royal we” Wonkette: “So what’s your deal?” the Paultard asked me with an air of suspicion, his Ron Paul REVOLUTION flag waving proudly as we walked. I had been […]