Wonkette

• Today’s plane crash:Mark Foley::9/11:Gary Condit [TBogg]

• Bill Clinton, Commander Sulu, and Janet Jackson want you to know that you’re not fooling anyone. [YouTube]
• If you had today in the “first person to suggest using Jack Bauer to topple North Korea” office pool, you win. [HuffPo]
• Don’t let alcohol ruin your life. One crazy rave and you’ll be off the sauce for good. [Hit & Run]
• John McCain can’t get “straight-talk” letter about North Korea into any newspapers, sighs, finds willing blog. [Captain's Quarters]
• The Interior Department’s smut blocking algorithm has a decidedly liberal bias. [Atlas Shrugs]
• Florida voters to Katherine Harris: “I sometimes think that all you tell me of knighthood, kingdoms, empires and islands is all windy blather and lies.” [Washington Wire]

* The facts have been double checked — dipping your feet in duck shit solves nothing. [Why I Hate DC] MORE »

Bored with work? Still despondent over our nation’s shaming by Ghana? Your choices for free entertainment today include: MORE »

• Names & Faces: Memorial concert to be held today in honor of Joseph McLellan, longtime critic for the Washington Post. [WP]
• Liz Smith: Sharon Stone on Hillary: “I think it is too soon for her to run. This may sound odd, but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power, and I don’t think people will accept that. It’s too threatening.” [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: White House staffers said to enjoy “24.” [NYDN]
• Page Six: Hillary reportedly banned Barbra Streisand from the White House after the singer stayed over while she was visiting her dying father. [NYP]

Sometimes, our sources can be too reliable. This afternoon, we received an email from one of our bestest pals, Amy Argetsinger. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Sen. Barack Obama on winning his Grammy: “I’m going for an Emmy next year, best supporting actor in a drama starring John McCain.”. . . Richie Sambora was partying with Mike McCurry as news of his divorce from Heather Locklear was breaking. . . John Roberts has friendly run in with Carol Channing at GWU. . . Fictional black president in “24″ receives warm welcome in D.C. [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Ann Compton and Mike Allen scuffle with one of the Pope’s nuns. [NYDN]
* Cindy Adams: Fictional, “nasty” love affair is written about Bush and Martha Stewart. [NYP]

* Reliable Source: After much anticipation — namely by Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts — Sen. John McCain made his cameo halfway through last night’s “24″. . . Scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions has been “dealt with” following post of “provocative photo” online. . . Jordan’s King Abdullah spotted at Georgetown Safeway. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Brian Williams confused Sen. Barak Obama with Rep. Harold Ford during State of the Union broadcast. . . Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.) hawks hardcover version of “The Constitution in Crisis” report with a introduction by Joe Wilson. . . Colin Powell sings “Happy Birthday” to opera singer. . . Liam Neeson and Holly Hunter play the Lincolns in Library of Congress production. [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: Rep. John Dingell (D-Mich.) is the longest-serving House member. [WT]

* Reliable Source: Bush holds public reenactment of Alito’s private swearing in. . . Rep. Jim Moran’s (D-Va.) cell phone rang during the State of the Union. . . Hastert, Specter, Harman had dinner at the Charlie Palmer Steakhouse before the SOTU. . . Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine appears with Sam Donaldson. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Sen. McCain (R-Ariz.) has a cameo in “24″ on Monday night. . . Sens. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.) and Reps. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) and George Miller (D-Calif.) viewed the State of the Union from “undisclosed locations” for security reasons. . . Home of Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) was vandalized with video tape while she was away at Sundance celebrating the release of a film about her life. . . Linda Douglass of ABC News is joining NYU as a senior fellow. . . Rep. John Kline (R-Minn.) has had enough with Democratic opponent Colleen Rowley. [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: Joint Chiefs of Staff complains to the Washington Post about cartoonist Tom Toles‘ depiction of wounded troops. [WT]
* Liz Smith: Bush jokes about seeing “Brokeback Mountain” with Cheney. [NYP]
* Cindy Adams: Web of Jack Abramoff’s influence may only reach the wives and grown children of implicated lawmakers. . . George Pataki makes his fifth trip to Iowa next month. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep are losing faith in Democrats. [NYDN]