Tag: 2014 election

Sen. Tom Cotton So Glad America Chose Him To Usurp Tyrant King Barack Obama

<a href="http://wonkette.com/599725/lets-meet-obamas-sexxxy-silver-fox-scotus-nominee-merrick-garland"></a>Sen. Tom Cotton opened his Arkansan mouth anus again, and what came out was unsurprising. Yes, the babyfaced pig trough of a man who thought, as a brand new perky Republican senator from Arkansas, that it was his...
Something, Something Desssstiny

Liz Cheney Seriously Considering Another Losing Shot At National Office

Now here's a bit of news to brighten up your day: Fox News hawking head, torture enthusiast, and apprentice Sith Lord Liz Cheney is "taking a serious look" at running for Wyoming's sole House seat, following current Rep. Cynthia...

Meet Kentucky’s New Cock-Fightin’ Teabaggin’ Gov. Matt Bevin!

Kentucky's a hell of a drug. Extra-crispy wingnut Matt Bevin was too crazy even for Republican primary voters to send him to the Senate in place of RINO Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2014, so the whole state decided Bevin...

Michigan Teabagger Fornicator Also Accused Himself Of Child Molestation, For Jesus

As you might have expected, the twisted stupid saga of Todd Courser, the Michigan state representative who faked a gay-hooker scandal to cover up his genuine heterosex affair with another legislator, state Rep. Cindy Gamrat, and then claimed that he...
Hey, what do I know?

Scott Walker Would Like All The Money For You To Pray With Him, Please

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker got re-elected somehow -- mandate of heaven, we guess -- and he's putting together plans for a big inaugural hootenanny. Now, in years past, inaugural events in Wisconsin used to also double as fundraisers for...
Thad Cochran, dwarfed by his own hands, celebrates his primary win

Chuck C. Johnson Decries Lack of Deathbed Apology From Rose Cochran

Rose Cochran, the wife of Mississippi Republican Sen. Thad Cochran, died at a hospice facility in Ridgeland, Mississippi, Friday at the age of 73. She had been at the center of one of the most bizarre episodes of the 2014...
Sorry, Chuck, but someone's got to go

Obama Learns His Lesson From Election, Fires Only Republican In Room

It seems President Obama has learned at least one valuable lesson from the devastating mandate delivered by the minority of the American people who bothered voting on Election Day: can the Republican. The New York Times is reporting that Secretary...
Not actually Ben Carson we don't think

Ben Carson Getting Fingered By God

Dr. Ben Carson is still thinking about thinking about running for president in 2016, in case you did not get the last eleventy zillion memos, newsletters, and singing telegrams. And look, here he is again, giving an interview again,...
What's the difference between real life and TV? Who knows? Who cares?

Awww, Is Justice Scalia Having A Bad Day? Good.

You've probably heard by now that yet another state -- this time, the Kansas-shaped one -- has gone and gotten itself all gayed up and equalified, thanks to a very brief "yup, go ahead and marry whomever you want,...
The Good Old Days

Arizona Loves The Constitution So Much It Has To Ignore The Constitution Sometimes

Arizona does not play especially well with the federal government. There's soon-to-be-former Gov. Jan Brewer's strange insistence that her office's duties included yelling at the president, of course, and there's Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's belief that county sheriffs are...
A rare sight: A Democrat giving a victory speech

Oh Hey There Is A New Democrat In The Senate, That’s Nice!

It's hard out there for a new Democratic senator. Scratch that: It's hard out there for the one and only new Democratic senator. Rep. Gary Peters of Michigan (thank you, Michigan) was one of a very -- very, very, very...

What If Joni Ernst Were More Like Max Ernst?

Ernst Ernst Ernst. Isn't that a good name? Ernst Ernst Ernst. The Importance of Being Ernst. Ernst Borgnine. We bet it's the onomatopoeia in some culture for a blaring truck horn: ERNST! ERNST! OUT OF MY WAY! In many...
Let the heeling begin

Morning Maddow: Rachel Hearts Gordon ‘Demon Slayer’ Klingenschmitt (Video)

On Friday's Rachel Maddow Show, we learned that Rachel, too, is just as susceptible as we are to the charms of Colorado internet preacher -- and newly elected member of the Colorado House -- Gordon Klingenschimitt, who likes to...
There's always 2016...

What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!

We know what you're thinking. "Did the bizarro Illinois lady who said that autism, dementia, and tornados are God's punishment for abortions and ghey marriage actually get elected to Congress?" This being the kind of election year that brought...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Did Sister Sarah Quit Her TV Channel Halfway Through?

A man gave us money to watch The Sarah Palin Channel. That man was Fartknocker. The content calendar on the Sarah Palin Channel confuses and infuriates us. It has been nearly a week since the Democratic thumping in the...
This is of course ridiculous. Fluttershy wouldn't even make it to the stage.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: You People Lost An Election, So Shut Up Now

As you may have heard, there was an election this week, and The People Have Spoken. Or at least The People who bothered to vote have spoken, and they are the ones what matter. Not surprisingly, the results of...