Tag Archives: 2014 election

  Imperial Walker

Scott Walker Would Like All The Money For You To Pray With Him, Please

Hey, what do I know?
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker got re-elected somehow — mandate of heaven, we guess — and he’s putting together plans for a big inaugural hootenanny. Now, in years past, inaugural events in Wisconsin used to also double as fundraisers for charities, like Boys and Girls Clubs or other worthy causes. But that was merely a tradition, and an apparently outmoded one, so with his 2011 inauguration, Walker turned the admission fees for inaugural events into a Scott Walker/Republican Party of Wisconsin fundraiser, which raised quite a bit of campaign cash and not a few eyebrows. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that for 2015, he’s doing the same thing, raising money for a great Wisconsin charity: Scott Walker. Tell us more, Saul Newton of One Wisconsin Now: Read more on Scott Walker Would Like All The Money For You To Pray With Him, Please…
  Rest In Peace

Chuck C. Johnson Decries Lack of Deathbed Apology From Rose Cochran

Thad Cochran, dwarfed by his own hands, celebrates his primary win
Rose Cochran, the wife of Mississippi Republican Sen. Thad Cochran, died at a hospice facility in Ridgeland, Mississippi, Friday at the age of 73. She had been at the center of one of the most bizarre episodes of the 2014 elections, although she was blessedly unaware of it. Read more on Chuck C. Johnson Decries Lack of Deathbed Apology From Rose Cochran…
  Here have some news n stuff

Ben Carson Getting Fingered By God

Not actually Ben Carson we don't think
Dr. Ben Carson is still thinking about thinking about running for president in 2016, in case you did not get the last eleventy zillion memos, newsletters, and singing telegrams. And look, here he is again, giving an interview again, about the same subject again, which we are supposed to take more seriously again, even though we can’t because we are practically dead from laughter again. Read more on Ben Carson Getting Fingered By God…
  Here have some news n stuff

Awww, Is Justice Scalia Having A Bad Day? Good.

What's the difference between real life and TV? Who knows? Who cares?
You’ve probably heard by now that yet another state — this time, the Kansas-shaped one — has gone and gotten itself all gayed up and equalified, thanks to a very brief “yup, go ahead and marry whomever you want, we are so bored with this conversation” order from the Supreme Court on Wednesday. It’s hardly even news anymore when you think about it, because, AHEM, this is what is happening right here in these United States in this, the 21st century. But there’s one interesting little thing to note about this particular order, per SCOTUSblog: Read more on Awww, Is Justice Scalia Having A Bad Day? Good….
  The Damned Canyon State

Arizona Loves The Constitution So Much It Has To Ignore The Constitution Sometimes

The Good Old Days
Arizona does not play especially well with the federal government. There’s soon-to-be-former Gov. Jan Brewer’s strange insistence that her office’s duties included yelling at the president, of course, and there’s Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s belief that county sheriffs are supposed to enforce immigration law, even if it means ignoring less sexy crimes. Oh, wait, for Arpaio, that meant actually ignoring sex crimes so he could conduct immigration raids. And then there’s that whole “Your Papers Please” law that was partly, but not completely, overturned. As a border state, Arizona just feels it has a better handle on keeping the browns in check than the Feds do, is all, and so Arizona would really prefer not to have a national government interfering all the time in silly matters like enforcing federal law. Two developments this week bring that to light once again. Read more on Arizona Loves The Constitution So Much It Has To Ignore The Constitution Sometimes…
  Democrat Party Of One

Oh Hey There Is A New Democrat In The Senate, That’s Nice!

A rare sight: A Democrat giving a victory speech
It’s hard out there for a new Democratic senator. Scratch that: It’s hard out there for the one and only new Democratic senator. Rep. Gary Peters of Michigan (thank you, Michigan) was one of a very — very, very, very — select group of Democrats who did not have to drown all their sorrows after the Great Ass-Whoopin’ of 2014 and instead got to give a victory speech on that fateful Tuesday night. He’s the House member who beat Republican Terri Lynn Land (thank you again, Michigan). You remember Land, of course. She’s the one who, in response to suggestions that she was actually part of her party’s war on women, ran a HI-larious ad in which she said “REALLY?” and then sipped her coffee and literally had no more words to say. Turns out that ad didn’t help her. And apparently, having Jeb Bush on the campaign trail didn’t help her either. Read more on Oh Hey There Is A New Democrat In The Senate, That’s Nice!…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Rachel Hearts Gordon ‘Demon Slayer’ Klingenschmitt (Video)

Let the heeling begin
On Friday’s Rachel Maddow Show, we learned that Rachel, too, is just as susceptible as we are to the charms of Colorado internet preacher — and newly elected member of the Colorado House — Gordon Klingenschimitt, who likes to exorcise Barack Obama, calling on God to drive out the “demon of tyranny who is using the White House occupant.” Read more on Morning Maddow: Rachel Hearts Gordon ‘Demon Slayer’ Klingenschmitt (Video)…
  Nearly was An Also-Ran

What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!

There's always 2016...
We know what you’re thinking. “Did the bizarro Illinois lady who said that autism, dementia, and tornados are God’s punishment for abortions and ghey marriage actually get elected to Congress?” This being the kind of election year that brought Joni Ernst and James Lankford to the Senate, you’ve got to ask yourselves: “Do I even want to know?” Well, do ya, punks? Let’s just see what happened to some of the more… colorful candidates last week (mostly, the color is red with vein-bursting rage). Read more on What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Did Sister Sarah Quit Her TV Channel Halfway Through?

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
A man gave us money to watch The Sarah Palin Channel. That man was Fartknocker. The content calendar on the Sarah Palin Channel confuses and infuriates us. It has been nearly a week since the Democratic thumping in the midterms, and Palin has yet to release footage of herself giving wet willies to Democratic organizers in Anchorage. The Sarah Palin Channel doesn’t seem to have anything on the results of the midterms, even though it shouldn’t take long to whip up another “Behind the Scenes” clip explaining how the Tundra Grifter used the power of pancakes to save Pat Roberts’ bacon. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Did Sister Sarah Quit Her TV Channel Halfway Through?…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: You People Lost An Election, So Shut Up Now

Equestria's political system is a matter of some speculation. Fandom is weird.
As you may have heard, there was an election this week, and The People Have Spoken. Or at least The People who bothered to vote have spoken, and they are the ones what matter. Not surprisingly, the results of the election have sent ripples into the fetid exploding foamy pigdoot lagoon that is our comment queue, and so in the spirit of sharing, we bring you this important note from “collioure1,” who wants us to know that Our Side Lost, and we therefore have no call to question the brilliance of Senator-elect Joni Ernst: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: You People Lost An Election, So Shut Up Now…
  All This Fuss Over A Few Clumps Of Words

Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board

Grab yer razor blades and white-out!
So here’s one more bit of Election Nice Time: turns out that even in hyper-conservative Gilbert, Arizona, a bedroom community to the Phoenix metro horrorplex, it is in fact possible for a conservative school board to go to far. And it looks like the Gilbert School Board’s decision last week to razor out a page from an Honors Biology textbook in the high school — because it mentions the abortion pill — is what counts as too far: the good people of Gilbert elected two new members and reelected an anti-censorship member, replacing the Tea Party-leaning majority on the board with a new majority that is firmly against slicing out a page from a biology textbook out of fear that high schoolers will learn that abortion exists. There were other tensions between the board and the community, too, but the textbook censorship seems to have been the last straw. Read more on Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Rand Paul’s Kentucky Fried 2016 Ballot Dilemma (Video)

That is one beautiful graphic, too
Here’s a weird thing that Rachel Maddow noted as part of her wrap-up of post-election silver linings the other day: Due to a Kentucky law prohibiting candidates from appearing on the same ballot for two offices, Rand Paul can’t run for both President of the USA and for re-election to the Senate. Dude’s awfully pumped to run for Preznit, but he also knows in his heart that he’s never going to be Preznit, and so he’d really like to run to keep his current job in the Senate. Kentucky Republicans had hoped to take the state House so they could just change the law and help Aqua Buddha out, but the voters were not at all compliant, and the House remains stubbornly Democratic. (Don’t they realize this was a wave election, and they are required to stand down for the new Permanent Republican Majority? Apparently not.) Read more on Morning Maddow: Rand Paul’s Kentucky Fried 2016 Ballot Dilemma (Video)…
  clip bait

Jon Stewart: ‘Mitch McConnell Is Literally, Biologically A Tortoise’ (Video)

On Thursday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart did that thing he does where he makes us all feel a little bit better about an awful, terrible, no good, very bad week after “the Democrats got taken out back and Old Yeller-ed by the American electorate.” And he did that other thing he does where he makes us laugh at the pitiful and trite news coverage of this week’s election, with a classic Daily Show montage. Read more on Jon Stewart: ‘Mitch McConnell Is Literally, Biologically A Tortoise’ (Video)…
  Very Serious Journalism

Dumb White House Spokesman Cannot Even Answer Simple Question What A Jerk

OMG, you guys, the White House is in total denial about the results of Tuesday’s election, but thankfully, the Very Serious Journalists of the White House press corps are ON IT. And Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Home For Cocaine-Fueled Journalismists is ON THEM being ON IT, thank Jesus. Read more on Dumb White House Spokesman Cannot Even Answer Simple Question What A Jerk…