Honorable John McCain Almost Promised To Die At End Of First Term
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
Because John McCain cherishes service above self, he almost took a vow to live out but one term as president before manfully expiring in 2012. You see, last year when he was losing horribly, he was so deeply unpopular within his own party that the only way Republicans could stomach supporting him was if they had some assurance they’d be rid of him as quickly as possible. But then old WALNUTS! had to go and not make his Selfless Vow, because he is a venal politician like all the others, interested in living and things. MORE »
Because John McCain cherishes service above self, he almost took a vow to live out but one term as president before manfully expiring in 2012. You see, last year when he was losing horribly, he was so deeply unpopular within his own party that the only way Republicans could stomach supporting him was if they had some assurance they’d be rid of him as quickly as possible. But then old WALNUTS! had to go and not make his Selfless Vow, because he is a venal politician like all the others, interested in living and things. MORE »
As we learned from The X-Files, space monsters will return on December 21 of the year 2012 and eat us all. Today, the U.S. government’s Space Environment Center announced that it’s all true. Might as well start smoking and having unprotected sex again! And cocaine’s still pretty good stuff, right?
Fun-loving first twin and