Tag: 2012 election

Deleted Comments: When He’s Not Lying, Alex Jones Is A Serious Journalist

We've got a full menu of morons, morans, and maroons today. And have you considered Alex Jones's contributions to serious journalism?

Trump Unzips Pants, Shows Everybody His Little Bitty Approval Rating

No, Donald Trump, it does NOT happen to all presidents.

LOL Kellyanne Conway, Numbers Is Hard!

Time for your morning update on Kellyanne Conway LOL U Suck.

These Skeevy Douchey Trump PAC Alleged Crimers Could Not Be Skeevier, Douchier, Crimier. LOOK AT THEM!

It's amazing how much flexibility in the campaign finance laws the prospect of a couple million bucks can find.

Fox News Reminds Stupid Fox News Hosts Not To Be So Stupid All The Time

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News has 'editorial standards.' WHO KNEW?

LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Missouri

The latest in our series on all the 57 states Hillary will probably win in the US American election.
Texas: Not Spongeworthy

LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Texas, Probably Not But Still LOL

A new poll shows Hillary trailing Trump by only SIX POINTS in Texas. SIX POINTS!

Trump Frets November Election Is ‘Rigged’ Since He Might Not Win

Donald Trump is already preparing for the revolution that must surely be sparked if Americans fail to vote for him.
Who needs facts when you've got charm?

Donald Trump Not Prepping For Debates, Will Just Be Himself. Clinton Campaign OK With That

Donald Trump is going to be incredibly ready for his debates with Hillary Clinton, although he hasn't started preparing for them yet. September is FOREVER away.

Donald Trump Might Have To Shoot Paul Ryan In The Middle Of 5th Avenue

Donald Trump warned on TV Sunday that he hasn't ruled out replacing Paul Ryan as chairman of this summer's Republican National Convention. Now that Trump has ascended to the GOP nomination, he can do what he damned well pleases,...
Nothin's gonna stop him now... oh, shoot.

Poor Forgotten Jim Gilmore (Who?) Can’t Even Be GOP Convention Delegate, Awwww

You may remember former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore, who was, at least on paper, an actual Republican candidate for president longer than Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Rick Santorum, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, George Pataki (who?), Lindsay Graham, Bobby Jindal,...
Ben Carson celebrates his 3rd place finish in the 16th District

Ben Carson Beats Ted Cruz With Both Eyeballs Tied Behind His Back (Because He Is Sleeping)

As the dust and clichés settle following the New York primary, two things are at least clear: 1) Donald Trump had a YOOOGE win, except in Manhattan, where people apparently know him, and 2) Somehow, Ben Carson won...

Sen. Tom Cotton So Glad America Chose Him To Usurp Tyrant King Barack Obama

<a href="http://wonkette.com/599725/lets-meet-obamas-sexxxy-silver-fox-scotus-nominee-merrick-garland"></a>Sen. Tom Cotton opened his Arkansan mouth anus again, and what came out was unsurprising. Yes, the babyfaced pig trough of a man who thought, as a brand new perky Republican senator from Arkansas, that it was his...
The way we were.

Ted Cruz Just Wondering How Many Horse Heads Donald Trump Deducts On His Taxes

Oh what fun we are having, now that we have reached the point in the primary where Mitt Romney wants to dig into everybody else's tax returns. If you'll remember, last week, Romney, who really really REALLY didn't want...
Troll so hard

Badass Sen. Elizabeth Warren Kindly Invites GOP To Shut Up About Scalia Replacement

Know what's a nice thing to read on a Monday morning? No, not news that Antonin Scalia won't be around to replace Roe v. Wade with a two word ruling that says "JIGGERY POKERY!" Instead, it is your girlfriend Sen....
I promise I'll be gentle

Jeb Bush Would Like Your Electoral Cherry, Young Man

After performing well below even his own pitifully low expectations in the Iowa caucuses and spending roughly $2,884 for every one of the pitifully few votes he won there, Jeb! Bush continued on to New Hampshire, where he headed...