2012 election

We’re going to assume that, even though it includes that image up there (minus Derpy Hooves, of course), this post on today’s Washington Free Beacon is not actually joking in naming Mitt Romney 2013′s “Man of the Year.” And to think, they’re only a year behind Yr Wonkette; we declared Mitt the Hu-Man of the […]

Happy Solstice, you ugly vile little snark mob! Welcome to yet another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs, clearing out a bunch of stories that weren’t worth a full post on their own, but too stoopid to ignore altogether. Then we serve up the resulting sludge up for you to […]

Rick Santorum has given it a lot of thought, and he’s figured out that if the true results of the 2012 Iowa Caucus had been reported right away, he’d have been the guy to win the Not Romney Sweepstakes, get the nomination, and lose to Barack Obama. “Had he lost Iowa, then the air of […]

Average guy Mitt Romney and his wife Egg went on the CBS This Morning teevee Showcase of Disgrace to talk about why he lost so badly in the last “America’s Next Top Figurehead” contest. Oddly, he said a thing that is arguably true: “The place that my campaign and I fell short was probably in […]

Katy Perry announced today that she will not seek re-election as Governor of Texas in 2014, but would not say for certain whether she plans a presidential bid in 2016. The three-term governor has held office since 2000, when then-Gov. Kate Bush became President. Her time in office has been marked by a controversial mix […]

Who could have EVER guessed that the lady who stomps around Washington accusing high-ranking aides of being terrorists might not necessarily be the best person to make business deals with? Turns out it could be… true. Rep. Michele Bachmann, she of the terrifying blank stare and razor-thin 2012 victory, is being accused of refusing to […]

PANIC, MOTHERFUCKERS! A new Pew poll shows Romney up four (49-45%) with likely voters following last week’s debate. According to Twitter, blah blah sampling women Midwest Chuck Todd just DMed me and it was hot, but basically Obama has permanently and totally lost the election after Jim Lehrer didn’t have his back.

It is now a 2 person race. Donate now at newt.org/donate for the last conservative standing. #tcot #withNewt — Newt Gingrich (@newtgingrich) April 10, 2012 A statement from the Newt Gingrich presidential campaign, maybe: While Rick Santorum waited, fundamentally, much too long to exit this race for the nomination, we at the Newt Gingrich campaign […]