2012
Unveiling Wonket’s 2012 Hu-Man Of The Year
Wonket’s Hu-Man of the Year was a hard-fought contest. There were strong cases to be made for Donald Trump, and Rick Santorum, and the cast of Fox & Friends. But in the end only one hu-man provided such grand doses of befuddled misanthropy, who proved to be SO FUCKING BAD AT HIS JOB, who could [...]
For Fox & Friends, It Was A Very Bad Year
We at your Wonket are liberals and Obamatards, and so it hurts us to see anyone in pain. (Ask us sometime about our “mirror neuron” seminar, and how our mirror neurons are the strongest, ass-kickin’est mirror neurons in the world!) It even hurts us to see Gretchen Carlson, and the Dooce, and the rapey one [...]
Presenting Wonket’s Gifs Of The Year That We Stole From Buzzfeed, Duh
AIYEEEEEE! WE ARE SO SCARED! ROMNEYSPAWN, RUN AWAY! On the flipside, our other gif of the year, which is happy-happy and will soothe your terrors away.
You Got Your Government In My God: The Year In Churchstate
Congratulations, U.S. America and such as! You have survived yet another calendar year without the establishment of a theocracy or the utter banishment of religious faith! It was a year in which the most momentous SCOTUS decision on church and state was a fairly narrow (and stupid) ruling that allows churches to ignore fair employment [...]
Teh Year in Ghey: A Wonktrospective
It has been a banner fucking year for the teh gheys. There was tons of election-winning, gay-marrying, company-wrecking, and general ruining of morals and common decency everywhere. Shockingly, we learned that a lesbian cabal runs the DHS, because when the revolution comes it will damn sure start with ‘mos taking over executive agencies. We watched [...]
Tucker Carlson’s Post-Racial Year
There are not enough pixels in the universe to reproduce every stupid watermelon email sent out by a GOP official, or even every racisty thing spewed by NRO. So we shall have to limit our examination of the Year In Racial Transcendence to just those sage comments espoused by the not at all spittle-flecked ranters [...]
The Year In Sesame Street Evil
First they came for Big Bird, and we did not care, because dude, old news. (Little known fact: if you stop funding the NEA, Sesame Street and Planned Parenthood, there would be enough budget left over to fund at least three GSA conventions.) They ALWAYS come for Big Bird, because sharing = communism, everybody knows [...]
The Year In Joe Biden
We at Wonket — the last bastion of pure Joe Biden love — received the following note yesterday, in our tipline, where people go to yell at us: I know you-all play it as though Joe Biden is just a sexy fool, but the scuttlebutt is that the Rs felt Obama wasn’t serious about talks [...]
Ann And Mitt Romney Adjust To Sad Lonely Life Of Regular Old Centi-Millionaires
Mitt Romney is SO VERY SAD, you guys. All he wanted was to be President. That’s it. He had a dream, just a simple dream, and You People crushed it. So now he spends his days alone, shuffling around in his $1000 bathrobes, talking to secret service personnel that aren’t there. And Ann! This has [...]
Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2012
We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. (For one thing, the YouTube copy we linked to in 2006 through 2011 is gone and borked forever.) We also cannot possibly hope to match the grim depths of [...]
Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You
Oh finally, Rick Santorum has written a column on the Hill, weighing in on the election and What It Means! And What It Means is that the GOP will FINALLY, after all this time, cooperate with President Obama on cutting Social Security and privatizing Medicare. So the fact that Americans went to the polls and [...]
A Special Wonkette Tribute To Fallen Senator Staple-Crotch, Massachusetts’s Own Scott Brown
It seems like just two months ago that we were in Tampa, Florida, hanging out with a bunch of Boston journos who explained, totally matter-of-factly, that it was a foregone conclusion that Senator Scott Brown (R-Playgirl) would handily beat sexy schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren in their #war for the senate. Why did they think that? “Because [...]
Oh How Cute, Fox is Suddenly Worried About “Media Bias” and its Impact on Democracy
Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Apparently there are “new questions” about the role of the media 2012 race! What kind of questions? Well, the kind Fox Nooz asks, like: why does the media insist on pointing out all the lies that come out of Mitt Romney’s mouth? And: why do they have to call [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Verbatim Last-Minute FOX NEWS Theatre
INTRO: THE WHO, “WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN” CHYRON: GOP ELECTION OFFICIALS BLOCKED FROM ENTERING POLLING SITES IN PA, JUDGE REINSTATES THEM [B-ROLL: The new New Black Panther, with foxy shades on]
Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool
Oh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a [...]
blog advertising is good for you
