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Tag: 2012

Un-American Trump-Spam Vendor Fires Itself From Donald Trump Campaign

Donald Trump really loves spam. We're not talking about the delicious Hawaiian delicacy (Donald Trump would never eat a canned meat, and Donald Trump only uses Trump branded products); the spam we're talking about here is his email. It...
Gather round, kids, and listen good

Mitt Romney Meets With Old Campaign Chums For No Special Reason, Why Do You Ask?

Mitt Romney has been keeping busy since our wayward nation made the biggest mistake of her life by walking away from the blissful comfort of his mechanical, Downy-scented embrace two years ago. Mitt is the forgiving type and has remained in the background...

‘Double Down’ Campaign Book: Mitt Romney Made Fun Of Chris Christie For Being Big Gross Fatty

There's a new book out about the 2012 election that made Barack Obama dictator for life (again) and exiled Mitt Romney to the wolf-stalked beaches of Southern California. It's called "Double Down," probably after the KFC bacon and cheese...

Newly Published Documents Detail Romney’s Specific Plan to Ruin White House, Country

What exactly would a Romney presidency have been like? Yes, of course it would have been horrible, we know that. But in what specific WAYS would have it been horrible? See, now we know the answer to this question,...

Unveiling Wonket’s 2012 Hu-Man Of The Year

Wonket's Hu-Man of the Year was a hard-fought contest. There were strong cases to be made for Donald Trump, and Rick Santorum, and the cast of Fox & Friends. But in the end only one hu-man provided such grand...

For Fox & Friends, It Was A Very Bad Year

We at your Wonket are liberals and Obamatards, and so it hurts us to see anyone in pain. (Ask us sometime about our "mirror neuron" seminar, and how our mirror neurons are the strongest, ass-kickin'est mirror neurons in the...

Presenting Wonket’s Gifs Of The Year That We Stole From Buzzfeed, Duh

AIYEEEEEE! WE ARE SO SCARED! ROMNEYSPAWN, RUN AWAY! On the flipside, our other gif of the year, which is happy-happy and will soothe your terrors away. This particular jif of beauty came about during an otherwise OUTRAGING debate,...

You Got Your Government In My God: The Year In Churchstate

Congratulations, U.S. America and such as! You have survived yet another calendar year without the establishment of a theocracy or the utter banishment of religious faith! It was a year in which the most momentous SCOTUS decision on church...

Teh Year in Ghey: A Wonktrospective

It has been a banner fucking year for the teh gheys. There was tons of election-winning, gay-marrying, company-wrecking, and general ruining of morals and common decency everywhere. Shockingly, we learned that a lesbian cabal runs the DHS, because when...

Tucker Carlson’s Post-Racial Year

There are not enough pixels in the universe to reproduce every stupid watermelon email sent out by a GOP official, or even every racisty thing spewed by NRO. So we shall have to limit our examination of the Year...

The Year In Sesame Street Evil

First they came for Big Bird, and we did not care, because dude, old news. (Little known fact: if you stop funding the NEA, Sesame Street and Planned Parenthood, there would be enough budget left over to fund at...

The Year In Joe Biden

We at Wonket -- the last bastion of pure Joe Biden love -- received the following note yesterday, in our tipline, where people go to yell at us: I know you-all play it as though Joe Biden is just a...

Ann And Mitt Romney Adjust To Sad Lonely Life Of Regular Old Centi-Millionaires

Mitt Romney is SO VERY SAD, you guys. All he wanted was to be President. That's it. He had a dream, just a simple dream, and You People crushed it. So now he spends his days alone, shuffling around...

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2012

We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. (For one thing, the YouTube copy we linked to in 2006 through 2011...

Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You

Oh finally, Rick Santorum has written a column on the Hill, weighing in on the election and What It Means! And What It Means is that the GOP will FINALLY, after all this time, cooperate with President Obama on...

A Special Wonkette Tribute To Fallen Senator Staple-Crotch, Massachusetts’s Own Scott Brown

It seems like just two months ago that we were in Tampa, Florida, hanging out with a bunch of Boston journos who explained, totally matter-of-factly, that it was a foregone conclusion that Senator Scott Brown (R-Playgirl) would handily beat...