Peter King, one of exactly two Republican congressmen from the state of New York remaining after Obama stole GOP Rep. John McHugh for army secretary, must defend his Long Island seat — not just from whatever contender in 2010, and the big increase in Democratic voters, and the dying-off Republican voters, but from the Dems’ crafty plans to screw him with redistricting in 2012. MORE »

Beloved wingnut blog RedState has taken an important stand against the Senate campaign of orange-skinned gay RINO and Florida Governor Charlie Crist. “If the NRSC thinks this is smart, we must not waste our time or energy with them,” RedState’s Erick Erickson wrote today. “Join me in pledging no money, no help, no aid, and no support for the NRSC’s efforts in the 2010 election cycle.” Yes! MORE »

After months of titillating evasion, the governor of Ponce de Leon’s meth-swamp has finally (almost) come out and made a very important personal announcement: he’ll be running for the Senate next year when Mel Martinez retires. MORE »

• TOM RIDGE ALSO TOO SCARED OF PENNSYLVANIA REPUBLICANS: The few Republicans who actually want to have representation in the United States Senate are screwed yet again, as their best chance in the 2010 Pa. Senate general election, popular moderate abortion lover Tom Ridge, will not run. As with Arlen Specter, Ridge was shown trailing the “Real American” candidate Pat Toomey in potential primary match-up polls, so why even bother with that shit. [Ben Smith]

INFAMOUS MINNESOTA FOREST SPRITE RETURNS FROM SPACE TO CHALLENGE BACHMANN AGAIN: He’s in baby, HE’S IN IT 2 WIN IT. The greatest elf in Minnesota history, Elwyn Tinklenberg, has THROW’D his hat in the ring for Michele Bachmann’s House seat in 2010 after narrowly losing to her in last year’s stolen election. It was only close last year because Michele Bachmann said we should have Witch Trials for members of Congress. Since inauguration she has said things far worse than that literally every day, so the delightful hobbit should uhh win. (PLEASE DON’T WIN THOUGH! WE NEED COMEDY.) [MN Progressive Project]

It’s going to be great, tomorrow, when we can all quit acting like we care about Arlen Specter beyond, you know, his vote. Meanwhile, OMG WITH WHOM WILL ARLEN SUP, AT THE SENATE DINING ROOM? Because you know he used to lunch with his Republican “colleagues,” but now he hates them, so … Hot Pockets and some web porn back in the office? Let’s check with The Hill, which actually follows the lunch routines of the old people who inhabit the Senate, and find out. MORE »

Oh poor John McCain! He tried not to be racist for a little while in 2007 during the immigration reform fight, but then that didn’t work, so he abandoned it and won the Republican nomination after all, but then that didn’t work either, and since a wingnut never forgets, he will now miserably lose his 2010 Senate primary to this guy who runs around shooting Mexicans. MORE »

• NOT BLUNT ENOUGH! Ha ha, Republican legislators aren’t even pretending to work on policy anymore — they are running around with megaphones just yelling about 2010, if this quote from Rep. Patrick McHenry is any indication, which it is: “We will lose on legislation. But we will win the message war every day, and every week, until November 2010… Our goal is to bring down approval numbers for [Speaker Nancy] Pelosi and for House Democrats. That will take repetition. This is a marathon, not a sprint.” Wow, this is simple enough that we won’t even need Politico to tell us what it means! (Although they will anyway, in a top five list.) It is interesting, though, that people like Patrick McHenry assume there will be a basic government or social order in 2010. [Greg Sargent]

Here’s former eBay CEO (and make-believe founder) Meg Whitman, the less terrible of John McCain’s two campaign CEO Henchwomen, announcing her run for California governor in 2010, on the YouTube! Ha she is so rich — she BOUGHT PRINCETON or something recently — so maybe she will win. But the choice of what appears to be a tank top — probably made of something expensive, of course… enriched uranium? — just reeks of New Money. Hey Meg, if you love the Internet so much, why don’t you go buy some sleeves. From a retail website. Yeah. (VOTE 4 GARY ‘N’ NORM “COLEMAN/COLEMAN” TICKET 2010$$) [YouTube]

Are you ready for the 2010 midterm election? No? Well too bad, because the campaign began on Nov. 5 of last year, and by the end of this summer you’ll probably hear about nothing else, so let’s start the Wonkette coverage with a nice story about this porn-star/stripper lady in Louisiana, and how she will maybe run against national embarrassment David Vitter, the hooker-lovin’ diaperman of the Senate. MORE »