2009
Someone is a little late to this party, hmm? Staff sergeant Moran (his real name, for real, real as they come) heard a totally wicked story “from some guy” that President Obama is a godless robot with a fake human birth certificate. QRAZY, RIGHT? Sergeant Moran is just as freaked out as everyone else, and [...]
It’s still early while your editor is typing these words, but thanks to the possible magic of “a scheduled warblog post,” this should reach those of you near a computer about an hour before Midnight, 2010 …. unless, of course, there was a terrible Y2K10 Terror Attack On Earth. So, happy new year, and thanks [...]
People with nothing better to do on New Year’s Eve love watching Dick Clark propped up in Times Square as a giant crystal ball full of even more crystal (but not meth!) is slowly lowered from … some kind of pulley, we figure? We only watched this once, when we were about nine years old, [...]
So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]
Let’s see, Oscar nominations, who cares … oh look, nominations for the 2009 Bloggies are out, and whoa, jesus christ, your Wonkette is nominated for Best Weblog About Politics, Most Humorous Weblog and Best Group Weblog. Yikes! Thank you, good peoples, for nominating us, for these magical invisible trophies.
WONKETTE COMPLETELY ENDORSES THIS 50 WORST MONSTERS LIST: The Buffalo Beast is known for these crushing obituaries of terrible living Americans, and the 2009 edition is built to please/enrage. The 50th, least offensive spot is reserved for your own pretend boyfriend, Barack Obama. Why? To give the list integrity. Anyway, go read this thing, and [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonWelcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the far-off futuristic year 2009! Though the rapidly aging 21st century has repeatedly failed to deliver on its promises — flying cars, domed cities on the moon and ocean floor, universal peace supervised by a one-world government, shiny jumpsuit-based couture, sex robots — we still begin each [...]
A nut in a World War II Nazi military uniform aims his bayonet-tipped rifle at Seattle cops and is shot dead. A distraught guy fires a gun in the air from his garage and three Los Angeles police cut him down. An angry old Colorado ski bum plots an epic four-pronged terror attack on the [...]
He has apparently signed the papers necessary to run for governor of Virginia in 2009. And you people worried that there would be no more jokes in America after Obama got elected! Thanks to McAuliffe-watcher Ellie for this important info. [BNO News Twitter]
The new president will get a very special gift from the George W. Bush Administration next year: an all-time record deficit of $490 billion American dollars, or “nine Euros.” Before Bush took office in 2001 — and we do mean “took,” har har! — the federal budget deficit didn’t exist, but there was a surplus [...]
