December 5, 2013
America’s Time-Travel and Causality Crisis grew worse last week as Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Azkaban) blamed the 2008 recession on his predecessor and likely opponent in 2014, former Gov. Charlie Crist, who served from 2007 to 2011: “We never should have had that downturn,” Scott told the Sayfie Review Florida Leaders Summit in Orlando, suggesting [...]
Another day, another instance of bank wrongdoing, this is the world we live in! Or rather, this is the world we WOULD live in if banks were capable of engaging in wrongdoing, which of course they are not, duh. Anyway, what have the banks been accused of doing this time? Oh nothing, just engaging in [...]
After Obama’s quashing of lapsed aisle-straddler John McCain in 2008, people apparently thought this loser and winner could come together and do great things, as if the election were a tie or something, as if this were post-Blair England and the leadership options were so bad that the options had to band together in a [...]
Ron Paul not-actual delegate (class of ’08) Garrett Quinn sends us this delightful Ron Paul promotional item, from the eccentric old man’s candy factory, which has been shrouded in secrecy ever since Ron Paul fired all his black workers, for stealing, and replaced them with hobbits.
Political pundit people have been enjoying the idea that Mitt Romney has a “John Kerry problem.” After all, both Romney and Kerry are rich white establishment politicians — just like most politicians, on Earth. Political pundits love easy comparisons like that. But John Kerry took a break from whatever he does these days to say [...]
Way back in 2007, when Wonkette was literally the only national media actually covering Sarah Palin and her ridiculous role as John McCain’s vice-presidential candidate was still just a stain in Bill Kristol’s underroos, the Wasilla grifter was already planning her divorce from amiable extremist dolt Todd Palin. Emails finally released on Thursday show Sarah [...]
Here’s some more awkward humor from the robot comedy that is Mitt Romney’s 2012 ascent to the GOP nomination: Mittens actually did worse on Saturday in the Nevada GOP caucus than he did back in 2008. This time around, “Inevitable Willard” got 50.1%, or a little less than his winning total back in the 2008 [...]
Oh look what Buzzfeed found, ha ha ha ha ha: McCain 2008 Oppo File
The Obama campaign released a web video Tuesday morning as a friendly reminder to America that the President already knows who won the Iowa caucuses — in 2008, when he was Man of That Distant Year. Looking at pieces of media like this, it’s remarkable to think that Obama has the so-huge-it-sounds-fake sum of $99 [...]
Uhm … completely correct? Erm … okay weeping in closet now.
People of a certain age (22?) may remember a distinct feeling of hope back in 2008, when a certain candidate for president symbolized a hoped-for end to the pent-up anger, disappointment and disillusionment of the Bush Junior years, the reduced-expectations era of Kerry and Gore and (gah!) Lieberman and Edwards, the reliably chaotic economic bubbles [...]
Dr. Cornel West campaigned like crazy for Barack Obama. You may recall, back in 2007, Obama had this problem with black people: They didn’t really buy his act. They liked Hillary, the tragic wife of America’s first white black president. And it took a lot of endorsements from respected black scholars and politicians and cultural [...]
Since kicking off his re-election bid with history’s least enthusiastic campaign ad, Barack Obama is back on the campaign trail again, simultaneously presenting his dead-in-the-water deficit plan to the country and trying to get people excited to give him another four years in office. The problem, of course, is that it’s hard for him to [...]
The banshee shrieks: “That’s why an election was stolen in Minnesota, and yes, I will tell you, it was stolen. And Al Franken became the 60th senator to give Barack Obama a filibuster-proof majority in the United States Senate and that’s how he got ObamaCare. But for that stolen election, we would not have ObamaCare [...]
Mitt Romney found himself an empty news cycle this afternoon, so he finally announced his candidacy for president in a video carefully crafted to be more boring than President Obama’s first campaign video. In a way, Romney was taking an idea from his last campaign, which featured an inexplicable ad of him running. Now Mitt [...]