The GOP primary’s great white hope, Hollywood Fred Thompson, is either purposefully trying to derail his campaign before Halloween so he can lazily enjoy the winter holidays, or he’s so Reaganesque that he’s going senile before the election. Nothing else could explain his bizarre tone-deaf response to questions about the southern conservative primary voter’s own personal version of the Crucifixion story: the tragic removal of Terry Schiavo’s feeding tube two years ago. MORE »

There’s great news for America: The federal deficit has finally fallen back to early-2002 levels, meaning things are now only as bad as they were immediately after 9/11. Why the not-so-bad news? The surge, obviously:

The federal deficit has improved significantly in the first three months of the new budget year, helped by a continued surge in tax revenues.

The actual good news is that federal spending “only” went up by 0.7% over last year — and that’s because Congress spent much of 2006 imploding from one bribery or sex scandal after another. Let’s hope for more of the same in 2007. MORE »

Jim Gibbons was already famous for being a do-nothing Nevada congressman who routinely spouted asinine nonsense and basically threatened to kill a Vegas cocktail waitress just before the midterm elections that bizarrely put him in the governor’s mansion, but we can now add “paranoid schizophrenic” to his long list of personal problems.

“Citing unspecified security concerns,” the rat-eyed Republican was sworn in as the New Year arrived Monday at 12 a.m. — in the living room of his house in the grim Reno suburb of Sparks. (UPDATE: Sparks native Gibbons has apparently abandoned his grim hometown for some McMansion in Reno proper.) This couldn’t be any weirder if Michael Jackson, Liza Minelli and that dwarf from “Twin Peaks” were on hand.

Let’s catch up with the scumsack, after the jump.

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The Wall Street Journal has kindly made its end-of-year News Quiz available even to you, the person without a WSJ account because it’s not like you’ve got stocks or whatever. This is a way for the Big Money people to reward you for taking an interest in national and world affairs, despite your unenviable position on the Wealth Ladder. MORE »

The celebrated 2006 midterm elections, already beloved for featuring more man-on-page action and bitch-choking than any other election since the Era of Good Feelings, are finally drawing to a totally anti-climactic end. Deborah Pryce (R-OH) has defeated some loser. The recount will be certified on Friday, and then we can all get back to Vilsack Fever. MORE »

* Which President has spent the most time talking about Pearl Harbor? Hint: It’s not Franklin Roosevelt. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]
* Buy two regular price blowjobs from DC hookers and they’ll keep your secret for free. [TPM Muckraker]
* President Bush wants a cookie for some shit he was supposed to do anyway. [Hotline on Call]
* DHS program that assigns “secret terrorist ratings to millions of U.S. citizens,” gets highest possible “Five Kafkas” for its scary PoMo essence. [Computerworld, The Heretik]
* Walnuts McCain hires a communications director even Wal-Mart thinks is too evil. [Election Central]
* Some people just have to be first: “Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006.” [Extreme Mortman]
* On Oscar night, pay close attention to the size of Al Gore’s ass — that’s how you’ll know if he’s running in ‘08. [SFGate]

• Bush unafraid to reveal his manipulation tactics to reporters, they’re slower on the uptake than terrorists. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• When Nancy Pelosi says “civility and bipartisanship,” she means “get medieval on your ass.” [Whiskey Bar]
• Libertarians are kingmakers in Montana, still paupers everywhere else. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
• Fox News blurb-writing done by either a Murdoch or a 7th grader. [Think Progress]
• Massive election gains by Democrats were not by accident, not a result of your favorite conspiracy theories. [Unclaimed Territory]
• Timing of Rumsfeld ouster irks right-side bloggers and GOP candidates that could’ve benefited from that shit happening two months ago. [Captain's Quarters]
• Republicans to pressure George Allen to concede, as they can’t stand his mouth either. [Hotline on Call]
• Jim Webb announces his transition team, for spite. [MoJo Blog]
• Rumsfeld had offered to peace before, but yesterday’s events made it inevitable. [Gawker]
• Ok, maybe the comedians didn’t quite have the Rummy rumor first. But they were close. [theGarance]

It was a long night for us too, buddy.

The election night energy was cranked up to eleven at “The Party Everyone Was Calling ‘Jim Webb’s Victory Party.’” How we fooled Webb’s press staff into giving credentials to local lay-about Intern Nick we’ll never know, but he got in, and provides exclusive documentation of the most anti-climactic party East of the Bitterroot Mountains, after the jump.

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• Depending on how the “angry tide” breaks, East Coast voters could observe normal bedtimes. If tightest races stay tight, next few days could be 2000esqe. [WP, WSJ]

• Candidates buck tradition of ending campaigns on a positive message, continue with, “attacks over personal character and alleged corruption.” [WP]
• 2006 midterm elections: must be present to win. [NYT]
• Percentage of people “absolutely certain” they will vote today is the highest ever for a non-Presidential election. [LAT]
• Democrats fail to manage expectations; failing to retake the House could cause “mass suicide.” [NYT]
• Hillary Clinton drops $30M on a campaign she could have won with five bucks worth of party supplies. [NYT]
• Everyone that has thoughts about 2008 busted their ass for candidates in 2006. [WP]
• Voters look to ask President Bush, “Who’s the decider now?” [WP]
• Network News stations form unholy alliance to monopolize exit poll data and keep it from bloggers. Kiss ass, elitist, and over-moraled blogs seek to deny readers their bread and circuses, we will not. [WSJ]

• Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hanging for crimes against humanity. [WP, NYT, LAT]

• Polls show affinity for hangings to boost Republican turnout. [NYT]
• Various self-appointed election monitoring groups will spend tomorrow addressing voting irregularities, trying to feel important. [WSJ]
• Even voters can’t save Dennis Hastert’s position as speaker, as he is “widely expected to exit the leadership stage.” [WP]
• Omnipotent swing-voters don’t like the situation in Iraq, do like the E Street Band. [WSJ]
• Candidates try to motivate their base of support, with President Bush in red states and former President Clinton in blue ones. [WP]
• Poll numbers move Republican’s way after start of vaunted voter turnout “blitz.” [WP]
• President Bush more willing to work with Democrats now than, well, ever. [NYT]
• The New York Times is shocked at the speed with which online games are produced to mock politicians, also finds Jay Leno to be outrageous. [NYT]