2006

Let’s see, gay wrestlers all humping on each other? Check. Pudgy Rick Santorum smiling and winking? Yep. Praise for Hillary Clinton and Barbara Boxer? Oh hell yeah. This is Rick Santorum’s victory video for his 2006 Senate re-election campaign, which he lost by an astonishing 18 points. [BuzzFeed]

American taxpayers (China) paid for Bush administration officials to conduct political campaign activities for the 2006 midterm elections, which violated federal law and is information that, perhaps, we could have used somewhat earlier than a half decade after the fact. This is not surprising, nor is it surprising Karl Rove directed this stuff. What’s really […]

Sources in Connecticut (people who “read the entrails” by smashing a jelly Dunkin’ Donut in the rocky soil?) are saying that Joe Lieberman is going to announce his retirement tomorrow, seeing as nobody wants to elect that moaning sack of hollow secondhand gypsy mettle anymore. Wow, what a brilliant career! There was that time he […]

Virginia’s George Allen may be the most brilliant legislator to ever play with a football on the Senate floor, but unfortunately, he also likes to use old-timey racial slurs of which nobody has ever heard, so he was defeated in 2006 for saying “macaca” on YouTube. It was an important moment in American history, according […]

Minneapolis’ city attorney’s office has agreed to pay a $165,000 settlement to seven people who dressed up as zombies to protest consumerism in 2006. Police had arrested the protesters for what they thought appeared to be a “weapon of mass destruction,” but hilariously was actually an iPod and some equipment to amplify this terrorist mp3 […]

The SIX-YEAR investigation into Tom DeLay’s ties to lobbyist Jack Abramoff is now over! Hooray Sixth Amendment! The system works! Finally Tom DeLay can get back to his business as House Majority Leader, passing George W. Bush’s Mandate. But seriously, six years? And then, “Oh, whatever bro, we’re not gonna charge you with anything.” The […]

Vinegar Joe Lieberman is the first actual clump of feces to serve in the U.S. Senate, but it seems Connecticut voters are no longer charmed by this historical oddity. Lieberman now boasts the “highest disapproval rating in any Quinnipiac University poll in any state for a sitting U.S. senator — except for New Jersey’s Robert […]

Forgotten Florida Republican Senator Mel Martinez announced his retirement today, two years early, and nobody really cares. Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida and became mayor of some town, in Florida, so George Bush Junior made him the HUD secretary, so Martinez caused the housing collapse probably, and then he ran […]

WALNUTS 2: NUT HARDER starring John “Walnuts!” McCain, produced by SalvatoreDIntern and starring Julia Kobos. And your beloved original from 2006 is here.

TOM DELAY  12:56 pm January 10, 2008

by Ken Layne