Wonkette

* Heard on the Hill: “On Friday afternoon, Capitol Police put out an all-points bulletin indicating that ‘multiple individuals were harassing or being too forward with Sen. [Barack] Obama (D-Ill.)’ inside the Hart Senate Office Building.” … The first 100 hours were neither first nor 100 hours… Senate still lazy, not working 5 day weeks. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Famous women who’ve done famous things are approvingly listed and described. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: FDR’s car auctioned, fetches less than a NAZI CAR… Moby was here. He dislikes DC, which should cheer up Washingtonians. Also, Alexandra Pelosi calls him “Baby Mo.” [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: New DCCC head is trying to be BFF with DNC head Howard Dean… Michael Chertoff picked Beta over VHS. [USN&WR]

* Harry Reid stops the logjammin’ and passes “the toughest reform bill in the history” of the Senate (according to Harry Reid). The lobbyists’ lobbyist is sure it’ll just push bribing further underground, where a greased-up, shirtless Robert Byrd will have to delve to kill it at the root. [WP, LAT]
* John Edwards’ Georgetown manse bought in shady deal by insider-trading grandparent-abusers. [WP]
* Democrats did 100 hours worth of work in somewhere between 42 and 87 hours. [NYT]
* GSA chief Lurita Doan gets so overwrought when she hears the national anthem it makes her want to give no-bid contracts to everybody she knows. [WP]
* Alberto Gonzalez doesn’t have a political bone in his corruption-prosecuting-attorney-replacing body. Anybody that’s got problem with that can take it up with John Cornyn. [WP]
* FISA is for turbos, but Patrick Leahy isn’t willing to follow the white rabbit down the secret court’s hole. [NYT]
* Art Buchwald was a great writer, and he just died. [NYT]

Nancy Pelosi was sworn in as Speaker of the House last Thursday afternoon sometime, so the first 100 hours of the Democratic congress finally ended this evening. Which explains why you suddenly have health care! Was it good for you? MORE »

Drudge is shocked by the “news” that Congress isn’t in session today. This is an apparent violation of their promise to accomplish everything ever in 100 hours, then spend the rest of the year making lanyards or learning to knit or something. MORE »

Steny Hoyer has released the voting schedule for the 300-hour-long “first 100 hours” of the new Congressional regime. It somehow manages to look even more ridiculous than the half-made up one we posted earlier. Especially their prediction that Republicans will literally run away after two weeks of Democratic rule. MORE »

Welcome the first 100 hours of the Democratic congress, during which they’ll curtail corruption, stymie lobbyists, reform earmarks, raise the minimum wage, win the War on Terror, bring the troops home, finally put an end to Christmas once and for all, burn all the flags, impeach the President, and go back in time to buy you a Wii before Christmas your pagan solstice feast. MORE »