May 27, 2012
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Do things feel just a little more exciting today? That’s hardly surprising, because the Barack Obama Administration is now 99 days old, which is exactly one (1) day shy of the super-important 100th birthday of the First Hundred Days. How is our young, useless, radical foreign-born Chicago street thug from Indonesia dealing with the stress? [...]
23% of Americans Approve of Republican Party
by Ken Layne 2:51 pm April 24, 2009
As the GOP accelerates its transition to America’s own “National Front” fringe-nut-racist party, U.S. voters are, shockingly, repulsed by the Republicans. A new poll gives the Grand Old Party a favorable rating of just 23%, down another point from a week ago. Congressional Republicans have a 15% approval rate, also down a percent from last [...]
Obama Will Build Magic SuperTrains To Save America, Bypass Teabagger Zones
by Ken Layne 1:28 pm April 16, 2009
One of the worst things about America is how much of it you have to deal with, just to get from Worthwhile Point A to Worthwhile Point B. What if you were, for example, having a nice breakfast in New York at Balthazar or whatever, and you needed to go to Los Angeles for a [...]
Rescue-Dog Fanatics Hope Obama Will Kill Ted Kennedy’s Elitist Water Dog
by Ken Layne 6:21 pm April 13, 2009
It’s great that the poor little lonely Obama girls finally got a nice dog that won’t make allergy-prone Malia sick with its dog hair, because it is a special hairless breed. NO WAIT. It is an outrage that the Obama girls were given this dog because it isn’t LEGALLY a “rescue dog.” (Did you know [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonRemember the good old days of American wit when our nation’s cleverest sat around an elitist table at a fancy New York City hotel and made cutting remarks so subtle and erudite that nobody within earshot could tell what the hell they were talking about? And also, they were drunk? Well, those [...]
Gordon Brown-Barack Obama Meeting Boring To UK, Too
by Ken Layne 6:03 pm March 3, 2009
So, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was at the White House today, where he was SNUBBED by elitist American Barack Obama, who did not worship the Special Relationship enough to hold a joint press conference with Brown. Also, who the fuck cares about Gordon Brown, right? Unless you want to talk about a country with [...]
And On The Seventh Day, God Created An As-Yet-Unused Login For The Fray
by Juli Weiner 3:41 pm March 2, 2009
It’s quite snow-stormy out today, huh? But if you do decide to venture out of the house, one of two things might happen: One: that asshole Barry Obama will stop calling you a coward (to your face), and two: you could stop by one of DC’s like three (like 3) places to go hear an [...]
Watch Obama Sign Obama Signed The Stimulus Bill NOW PEOPLE Earlier!
by Jim Newell 3:29 pm February 17, 2009
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Barack Obama Lets Tim Kaine Stand On Presidential Astroturf
by Ken Layne 1:35 pm February 12, 2009
Here’s your boyfriend Barack Obama with Virginia schlub Tim Kaine, on location for their cameo appearance in the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. Keep those artsy White House pictures coming, Pete Souza! [White House]
New Stimulus Party Report: Some Guy Drank Beer
by Jim Newell 4:56 pm February 9, 2009
We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative “Eric.” He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn’t like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we [...]
Fat Cat Obama Gets Unfair Luxury Perks In Exchange For Job That Any Loser Could Do
by Sara K. Smith 3:11 pm February 5, 2009
President Obama gets to enjoy all sorts of goodies as the leader of the free world, such as a fat salary, a driver and a chef, and free transportation to just about anywhere. This elitist must do away with all these outrageous perks while the rest of America suffers so greatly! Responsibility era etc.! Barack [...]
NRO Dildo Has Been Accurately Predicting President Obama’s Failures Since March ’08
by Ken Layne 10:47 pm February 4, 2009
In an effort to be “objective” and feel like “a big deal,” the Washington Political Press has decided Barack Obama’s 16-day presidency is in Crisis Mode, possibly collapsing exactly like Nixon, late in his second term, right now! The evidence, so far, consists of Obama doing pretty much everything he said would be done in [...]
We Fight The Smears So Barry Doesn’t Have To
by Josh Fruhlinger 12:00 pm January 23, 2009
By the Comics CurmudgeonNow that President Obama is at last really the President, we here in the satirical-media community must immediately drop our oppositional attitude to those holding political power in this country and work as hard as we can to become their lapdogs. (The one exception is Mallard Fillmore.) Your Comics Curmudgeon has been [...]
Death Trip To Hell Town
by Josh Fruhlinger 9:58 pm January 20, 2009
Fellow Americans! As you can see above, your Comics Curmudgeon survived his journey into one of Washington’s many terrifying underground doom caves (where they really were singing “God Bless America,” followed by about thirty seconds of “Lean On Me,” until they ran out of widely known lyrics) when the glowing radiance of Barack Obama’s spiritual [...]
One of two things happened to Washington D.C. this afternoon: (1) Obama’s friends the Muslims snuck in one of those dirty bombs they make all the time and blew it up around Constitution and 5th, raining toxic waste debris across a five-block radius so as to kill Christians (2) Tourists threw their shit all over [...]
