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Herman Cain — still currently topping the presidential polls of GOP voters — and his half-assed economic platform of “9% income tax, 9% corporate tax and 9% sales tax” is the teatard-brained epitome of a candidate who thinks the 140-character limit on Twitter also applies to policy formulation. But mysteriously, this has not stopped the [...]
It is difficult, sometimes, to remember what your beliefs are when you have shifted many of them in a ploy to grab up some of the middle ground of the electorate. And thus in the same day we have Charlie Crist saying he would have voted for health care reform, we have Charlie Crist saying [...]
Is Jimmy Carter the greatest president in history? Not only did he manage to free captured / arrested / kidnapped / whatever American Aijalon Mahli Gomes, but he also managed to get out of North Korea without having to party with the super-awkward Kim Jong-Il the way Bill Clinton did. Plus, he did not succumb [...]
Remember when the Muslim Jesus said that he “came to set a man against his father”? Well, this prophecy is coming true, right now, in America! Ron and Rand Paul used to be super close and even made plans to do the Father-Son Congressional sack race together at the company picnic next year. But now [...]
Newt Gingrich is very busy! Look, there he is, saying Sarah Palin will run for president! And wow, he wants us to explode the other two members of the “Axis of Evil!” But more importantly, it is his job to stoke fear over the proposed mosque near the World Trade Center site, so it is [...]
The cherry blossoms made their yearly appearance last week, but the motherfuckers only peaked for one day! That was it. One day of cherry blossom amazingness, eight days of ehh, and 14 days of non-stop tourists and their incredible ability to circle trees and just be in the way, period. This is the last time [...]
So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]
What the headline said, duh! Uhh… hmm. It’s becoming impossible to follow the rapidly developing Balkanization within the Teabagger Movement. Let’s try to figure it all out in one post! Here’s the general storyline: Paultards and other “radical libertarians” are claiming that the Tea Party concept has always been their protest idea, for like infinity [...]
Ha ha, we said we’d liveblog this thing but what if the cable news networks don’t even cover sad old George Bush’s last press conference in his whole life? That would surely be embarrassing, for your Wonkette but most particularly for the President. Well, let’s sit tight and fix ourselves some Bailey’s and coffee before [...]
