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What is wrong with Barack Obama campaign manager Jim Messina, that he thinks Latinos are all about chimichangas? Latinos are all about TACOS, you moron. How racially insensitive can this guy possibly be? Let’s check Messina’s original comment for further outrage!
See those ugly ass swirly neon hair dryers/butt fluffers? Well they just got busted, like suckers, at the illegal ports of Miami and Los Angeles. Thousands of them. 13,000+! Apparently if you use these things to dry your hair or fluff your butt you get electrocuted and then explode, maybe. Isn’t that the whole fun [...]
Good heavens, your Wonkette can barely keep up with the hijinx our moral police are getting themselves into, as they bedevil legislatures and statehouses nationwide. Seems they are hell-bent on sticking a finger into every possible pie — up to and including vagina pie! Take the Republican supermajority in the Virginia House of Delegates, for [...]
What have the pussy liberal Supreme Court judges gotten themselves into now? Justice Stephen Breyer, for one, was drinking parrot blood and making abortion jokes with friends in his Golden Hispaniola Caribbean Palace last Thursday when Keith Richards and Captain Blue-Beard sneaked in through the slaves’ door, machetes in hand, killing everyone and seizing the [...]
Here is more fun typing from our contributor, Bilbo! By Bilbo Thankfully for the world, and reality, CPAC somewhat peacefully come to an end Saturday afternoon, at least the official administrative meeting and speechifying and seminaring and workshopping “official schedule” part of it, and it seems to have ended with the world intact, and no [...]
Here’s the beloved Conservative Comedian, Brad Stine, giving his lighthearted send-off to CPAC 2012 DAY 1 yesterday. Your Wonkette would’ve gone to watch him personally but was busy doing anything else. What’s his joke? Americans are such wusses now with their basic car safety measures. Ha! Ehh. If you listen really closely you can hear [...]
Cadaverous walking smirk Rick Santorum must still be high on endorphins from Tuesday’s surprise threesome in some meaningless/game-changing voting things. Having seen how turgid the prospects of Abortionplexes and FEMA-officiated gay marriage have been making conservative voters of late, Santorum is preparing a new front in the Culture Wars that, incidentally, also feed and shod [...]
Conservative teen pop star Ken Cuccinelli, Virginia’s attorney general, is using the hot news about all those dead rats found everywhere in the cleaned-out Occupy DC encampment to bring up one of his biggest fears: That a recent federal law will end up dumping all of DC’s many filthy rats into the Maryland and Virginia [...]
Uhh, wasn’t this supposed to be wrapped up by now? No. Not when all your candidates are so terrible. Rick Santorum is back in the race, in other words. He won Missouri! That’s … let’s see, 55% for Santorum, which is DOUBLE Mitt Romney’s second place finish. Meanwhile, in the “near the Mormons” state of [...]
Would-be aborted black fetuses have found a new friend in Rep. Trent Franks (of Arizona, sigh) and the collected shiny-faced grinners of the House Republican caucus. A clever woods-goblin has planted into these congressmen’s heads the notion that “abortion is the leading cause of death in the black community,” and not the official NIH-sanctioned answer [...]
Look, Rep. John Fleming is too busy putting food on the table with his $400,000 business income (after food expenses and all other expenses) to know that THE ONION is a satire publication and there are no plans for an $8 Billion Abortionplex in the works, as of now.
Have you heard about the strangest new craze in breast cancer charities, the kind that doesn’t actually want to fight breast cancer? This for a brief period was the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the behemoth breast cancer research charity always running around madly putting pink ribbon stickers on everything from yogurt cups to professional football [...]
OKAY guys Rick Santorum did not want to have to point out something quite so obvious and all, but he’s just going to give it to America as super straight as the super straight microphone-sucker he is: the health care crisis is due to everyone purchasing iPads when they should be buying their medicines instead. [...]
Rick Tyler, Newt Gingrich’s former communications director and now the head of his super PAC Bloviating About Our Future, had/created a terrible time on MSNBC following Tuesday’s primary in Florida. Rachel Maddow had Tyler on during her primary coverage to talk about whether Gingrich’s superbly negative Florida not-victory speech was using “racially coded language” to [...]
Hero Virginia state Senator Janet Howell responded to another one of these stoopid bills requiring women seeking an abortion to first undergo a medically pointless ultrasound with a very smart amendment: every man seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction would also by law have to undergo a rectal exam and heart test to get a Viagra [...]
