Search Results for “David Weigel/bydate”

  How High's The water Mama?

Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real

He looks serious.
Here is a surprise! It turns out that Garret Graves, the Republican who won Saturday’s election to fill the seat of Louisiana Congressman-and-now-Senator-elect Bill Cassidy, actually believes that science is real! He doesn’t deny global warming, and even helped develop plans for how Louisiana should deal with the effects of rising sea levels when he served as Gov. Bobby Jindal’s “coastal czar” — though maybe...
  We must destroy science to save science

GOP So Mad Someone’s Doing Science On Crazy Internet Trolls

Rep. David Schweikert (R-Defender of
A group of meddling congressional Democrats is planning to stick up for science in the House chamber this afternoon — but don’t worry, their post-enlightenment nonsense won’t be tolerated. The action comes in response to the Secret Science Reform Act of 2014, sponsored by Arizona Rep. David Rep. Schweikert, which heads to the floor today. That bill is pretty much exactly as ridiculous as you would expect of a piece of Republi...
  We Have always Been At War With Crustacea

You Will Be Outraged By The Tax Dollars Not Spent On This Dumb Science Thing!

Boondoggle! Government Waste! Volcano Monitoring!
You probably heard about the terrible waste of money where the National Science Foundation threw three million dollars at some stupid scientists who ran shrimp on a treadmill, we bet. It was big news in 2008, and kept on being huge news. Sen. Tom Coburn and Mike Huckabee (God’s Flatulent Instrument on Earth) both cited it as just the worst of a whole laundry list of useless waste in government spending. Here’s Huckabee’s versi...
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition

Wonkette does not allow magic scrolls, either. embarrassment to his cronies running for re-election. These are just a few of the reasons we don’t feel David Lory is a whack-job, but much the opposite. He is someone who is not afraid of the current government establishment & all of us will, when the chips are down, stand with him! That darn Obama and his plan to take our guns, which has been right around the corner since 2009. But if David Lory VanDerBeek is such a terrific prop...
  Listicles Are Still A Thing Right?

Nine Easy Halloween Costume Ideas That Won’t Get You Laid And May Kill You

We want your brains
...NOMY Smoke 500 cigarettes and drink three fingers of antifreeze. Sell all of your internal organs to Charles and David Koch. Use the money to buy your favorite toxic industrial chemicals from Charles and David Koch. Keel over and die. This one really blurs the line between “costume” and “performance art” and therefore should only be attempted by really obnoxious people.   QUARANTINED NURSE Possibly the simplest costu...
  dear john

Secret Service Hooker Investigator Canned, You Will Never Guess Why Just Kidding

Remember when the Secret Service couldn’t stop visiting prostitutes, and then some poor kid from the White House advance team couldn’t stop visiting prostitutes, and it was obviously Obama’s fault coverupbenghaziworsethanwatergate? Of course you do, that is all you read about on yr Wonkette. Well, the Department of Homeland Security investigated all those happy endings, and you will never guess what happened to the dude who was...
  whoa if true

Wingnuts Find Hillary Clinton’s Love Letters To Saul Alinsky, Lenin, David Cassidy

Also found: The poster Hillary and Bill hung over their bed in Berkeley that summer.
While you were all enjoying your Sabbath day of rest, the Washington Free Beacon – the digital equivalent of Sunday paper circular ads you toss in the trash without looking at them – was breaking a HUGE SCOOP!!!!! Are you guys ready for this? The Beacon has found Hillary Clinton’s letters to noted Communist mole Saul Alinsky! Well, one letter, actually. But Alinsky’s secretary wrote back to Hillary, so we guess technically that just...
  Shameless self-promotion

Meet The Press Is About To Get So Much Worse; You Need This Coffee Mug More Than Ever

Buy it now
Do you need yet one more reason to ignore NBC’s “Meet the Press” because you can’t get enough of John McCain and the weekly parade of the same old white dudes saying the same old white dude things? What the heck is wrong with you? FINE, be that way. Have one more reason. Heck, have two, courtesy of the New York Post’s Page Six: NBC is bringing in Luke Russert, son of the late beloved “Meet the Press” host Tim Russe...
  Cue the Scary Black Men Narrative

Stupidest Man On Internet Pretty Sure Restaurant Fight Was Work Of ‘Black Lynch Mob’

Hide your kids, hide your wife
Better be a little more afraid, White People, because The Blacks are on the rampage now, driven into a frenzy of anti-white violence by race hustlers like Al Sharpton and Oprah! Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft brings us this breathless lede: On August 9, 2014, 18 year-old Mike Brown was shot dead by an injured police officer in Ferguson, Missouri after robbing a local convenience store. On Sunday, Ralph Weens IV, was beaten in West Point,...
  If it's Sunday David Gregory's sitting around unemployed

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

...t of sucking at his job. There is one person, though, who is even sadder than so-sad Andrea Mitchell. Poor, poor David Gregory. So poor: Ousted “Meet the Press” anchor David Gregory was paid $4 million to leave NBC and signed a contract not to speak out against the network, sources told Page Six. Raise your hand if you’d be willing to say things like this for $4 million: “I leave NBC as I came — humbled and grateful. I love journalism, and...
  what if?

What If Citizen Journalism Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be?

...hose press conference was called “stupefying” by Seth Colter Walls and “a circus act” by David Weigel? I don’t know about you, but studying journalism amidst a stupefying circus act with a specialty in crimes of deceit in South Carolina sounds like loads of fun. On the other hand, Sinclair just announced that he’s shutting down his “news service” (who knew?) because he doesn’t want to make ...
  his time to shine

Marcus Bachmann Rears Head To Remind Us He Exists, Still Wants To Shame Gays

...nesota Christian radio station, KKMS, to talk about how cool it is to be ex-gay. His appearance followed that of David Hall, the leader of Minnesota’s holdout sad panda ex-gay group Outpost Ministries, which somehow is still chugging along even though its big brother in the ex-gay movement, Exodus, long ago gave up the ghost on that. A doubleheader of loathing and self-loathing! Riveting radio! First, Marcus had to give David Hall a tongue-...

At The Times, A Call To Legalize Marijuana (Except At The Times)

Did you hear that the editorial board of the New York Times is calling on Congress to repeal Prohibition 2.0 and allow adult U.S. Americans to smoke ‘em if you got ‘em? It has been more than 40 years since Congress passed the current ban on marijuana, inflicting great harm on society just to prohibit a substance far less dangerous than alcohol. The federal government should repeal the ban on marijuana. It’s a fairly Bold! stan...
  boneheaded density

Ladies, Please Stop Thinking About Your Vagina And Start Thinking About Your Sad Brittle Bones

...she was a consultant to Todd Akin at the very beginning of the whole legitimate rape fiasco and compared Akin to David Koresh, except it was an alternate universe David Koresh where, instead of being a murderous madman, he was a cool dude who stuck to his principles. Oh, THAT Kellyanne Conway. We love her! So marketing genius Kellyanne Conway, who so successfully rebranded Todd Akin from the guy that talked about legitimate rape to the guy that t...
  senator staplecrotch

Scott Brown: Why Are Democrats Insisting On F*cking Obamacare, Right In The Ear?

This should be fun
Scott Brown, that pretty fella who used to be Massachusetts’s junior senator till he got his ass war-whooped by one Mrs. Perfesser Elizabeth Warren, has some thoughts on that terrible Halbig decision yesterday, the one by the DC Court of Appeals that said “why yes, Republican governors may singlehandedly fuck Obamacare, right in the ear,” because some douche didn’t want to pay $216 a year for health insurance. And if one...
  the cat came back

Disgraced Sex Furry And Ex-Congresscritter David Wu Still Haunts Halls Of Congress Like Sad Lost Soul player who can’t stop “dropping by” the old school three years after he was expelled. David Wu, don’t you know that the Matthew McConaughey character in Dazed & Confused is not a role model? You should really take a gander at the whole sad story, which is awfully good, but here are some highlights of the post-Congress meanderings of David Wu: As a former member of the House, Wu still has access to the House...
  now that's what i call journalism

Chuck C. Johnson Is An Award-Winning Journalist

Move over Ben Shapiro, because it’s safe to say that Yer Wonkette, collectively, is simply head over heels for Charles C. “Chuck” Johnson, the brave not-a-blogger (HE’S AN AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST!!!) who has attached himself to the Mississippi Senate runoff controversy like a particularly tenacious hagfish. Johnson does not care for Thad Cochran! Not even the teensiest bit! But I’m not going to get into the whole...
  the civility war

David Brooks Too Delicate To Read Internet Comments

...tor Zoom is not as stupid as this article makes him out to be? I have seen brighter burnt out light bulbs. Maybe David Brooks would feel better about all this if he’d just dive in and write his very own “Dear Shitferbrains” column like the one that will be winging its sodden way to you dear Wonkers later this afternoon (that’s what you call a “teaser”). David Brooks also claims that for all the angerbears onlin...
  this week in gohmert

Louie Gohmert Has Million-Dollar Idea

Texas trailer hitch replica Louis Gohmert wants to get to the bottom of this IRS scandal so badly he’s willing to put the taxpayers’ money where his mouth is with a bill he introduced last week, the “Identify and Return Sent E-mails Act,” which would provide a cool $1 million to any whiz kid who can locate whatever emails disappeared from Lois Lerner’s computer when the hard drive crashed in 2011. Where Louie and the bill’s co-sponsor, Rep. Bil...
  suffer little children

Unsurprisingly, David Brat’s Primary Campaign Was Run By A Smug Baby

We knew that David Brat, the literal David to Eric Cantor’s figurative Goliath, would be a source of endless joy and terror for us, but even we didn’t think it would happen so soon. But the very morning after the amazing, stunning upset, one Zachary Werrell, Mr. Brat’s 23-year-old campaign manager and angry toddler, had to do some serious downsizing of his social media presence because of how his Facebook account was pretty mu...

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor Lost His Primary And We Are Dead From Laughter

We’ve been putting off writing about this all night, not because we don’t know what to say, but because we wanted to let the anticipation build, to feel a thrill up our leg, to see starbursts, and savor that first perfect moment when we type these words: HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC CANTOR LOST HIS FUCKING PRIMARY TO A TEA PARTIER OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. We wish we could screenshot pretty much every page on the internet right now, becau...
  the moronic convergence

Cliven Bundy Quits Republicans, Joins Forces With Someone Even More Untethered To Reality

Those sensitive to such things may have sensed a great disturbance in the Loonosphere over the weekend, as Cliven Bundy left the Republican Party and signed up with the Independent American Party of Nevada, the local version of the rightwing Constitution Party. And why does this matter? It is not insignificant, because Cliven’s new party is also the home of the awesomely batshit David Lory VanDerBeek, who we profiled a while back when he...