Wonkette
The Gawker Media shop is apparently selling a lot of these terrible T-shirts in the DC area. Let us be steadfast and not rest until Barack Obama is wearing one of these things on the campaign trail! (But we’re not buying one until it comes in maternity size.)
Now let’s just slightly change the subject: We’re told that some new Wonkette items will be manufactured in some Asian sweatshop in the coming weeks. What sort of crap would you want — whether to purchase, or maybe as a prize we give now and then?
We are mildly enthused about a Wonkette coffee mug, because everyone enjoys a beverage at their desk! Please give us ideas for the mug and whatever else comes to mind.
I Hate Your Kids [Gawker Shop]
Comments
etched glass bowl with wonkette logo, suitable for holding WALNUTS!
wonkette fanny pack, everyone loves a tourist.
Coffee Mug Wonkette: Finding Live Boys and Dead Girls Since 2004
I am sure Ted Kennedy would love a nice plush pillow with the Wonkette logo for when he sits down.
Wonkette: Firebombing Our Enemies' Hideouts Since 2004
Oooo! Oooo! Bush and Cheney bobbles?
How about something that says:
Michele Bachmann molested me.
Too soon?
On second thought, please put something on there about assfucking. Totally retro!
A dart board with that LNS pic of the Confederate Boob, just 'cuz you DC types seem to hate them sooooo much.
Oh! And Wonkette crack pipes, please.
"I'm Hot for Bachman's baby farm."
homofascist- pure brilliance.
Maybe "Katherine Harris for President" t-shirt
"Carrying a Snowflake Baby cuz Jesus Said To"
Mark Foley Defense Fund letterhead.
Those are all pretty awesome. What about a jelly vibrator shaped like Dick Cheney?
The fanny pack could say "Official Federal Ass Cover" or something of the sort.
How about one of those mugs where something appears or disappears when you add a hot beverage. What should appear? Not sure, but a Cocktober Surprise theme seems about right....
Ken, unless the dick cheney vibrator comes with the accompanying gurgles and gruff tone of voice we've all come to cherish, I don't think it'll fly.
But, since most vibrators come with that weird lil tickler for 'her' pleasure, why not shape it like a shotgun?
If you go the sex toy route, I'd suggest Wonkette Ben Wa Balls. Insert obligatory "politicians are all just pulling it out of their asses, anyway" comment.
Might I suggest a Karl Rove shaped buttplug.......ideal for covering anyone's ass......and a republican red, white, and blue ball gag.
Both are perfect for plugging all of those White House leaks.
WONKETTE CONDOMS OR WONKETTE EDIBLE THONGS (MALE OR FEMALE).
T-shirts that say:
My kids are honor students at a Republican charter school
What would Karl Rove do?
Please approve my surge.
Robert Byrd For President!
I'm a reformed member of LNS.
TUESDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN AT SMITH POINT!
Please pass the cyanide.
Clearly we need a plain white t-shirt that has the letters "LNS" in enormous sans-serif font and then (this is the kicker!) a giant universal red no sign through it. Wouldn't that be ever so clever?
Coffee mug: "Contributing to Global Warming"
T shirt: "No truthiness, no justice!"
T shirt (for next Xmas): "I support the war in Iran."
"Cocktober Forever"
Any coffee mug incorporating the word "Walnuts", accompanied by his aging face, I would buy instantly. "Team Walnuts", or "Wonkette: We Like 'Em Batshit Crazy" or something.
If it wasn't apparent by my last post, I fuckin' love the nickname you guys gave McCain. Thought I'd just give you some quick props.
George W. Bush: A Success That Hasn't Occurred Yet.
See: Fran Townsend
How come there aren't already Wonkette-logo Blackberry holsters? Come on, people, know your audience. I'm sure it tested well in all the Wonkette focus groups.
T-shirt: Cogito ergo snark
Another T-shirt, with strategically-placed (and not very large, to promote leaning in to read 'em) letters on the front of a babydoll T: Bodacious Ta-tas
Actually, a coffee mug with Cogito ergo snark would also be good. Heck, make it the new Wonkette slogan! I win!
snarkoterrorist wins. that's fucking awesome. i want one NOW.
My favorites (because you should care) are:
Finding Live Boys and Dead Girls Since 2004 (though it should say Dead Girls and Live Boys)
and
Mark Foley Legal Defense Fund
Also, I think a plain t-shirt with LNS on it would be great (perhaps a polo shirt, too). Or spell it out Late Night Shots. And don't cross it out. What better way to fuck with a "closed social club"?
Yeah, this is getting better every time I check it. Oh, and the Cheney vibrator says "Go fuck yourself!"
The Mark Foley sleeping-bag, with full-size Foley image (clothed; egad if it's not) on the exposed surface).
A Maf54 Catheter (Foley Catheter is an actual brand-name) for getting out all that wine that makes you text teenage boys.
A Katherine Harris mug, her face on one side, "Pink sugar please" on the other.
Wonkette-emblazoned Temple Garments (for the apostates among the LDS).
T-shirt: "AIM: Maf54"
Matching WALNUTS nut cup and Kitty Harris Pink Sugar Holder
T-Shirts:
Michelle Bachmann is Carrying My Snowflake Baby
I Got an STD from a USFB at LNS
Mark Foley Was My Scoutmaster
Hunter/Tancredo '08
"Amy wants you to remember the Millennium Development Goals"
A shirt with a photo of Kitty's rack on the front and on the back, "Brought to you by Bush/Cheney 2000"
But I must admit I will rush to buy the "Cogito Ergo Snark" shirt. Bloody brilliant.
Listen, if you're going to go the sex toy route, I seriously need a Big Head Wonkette Girl inflatable doll. Replete with the pleated skirt and boots. Oh, and the glasses; she must come with the glasses.
If not that, a nice 20 oz coffee mug with her visage on it would be great.
How about "Show me where the congressman touched you"?
"Cogito Ergo Snark" is so much better than "The DC Gossip."
But the pro-LNS shirts? Genius.
I third (fourth? fifth?) the Cogito Ergo Snark idea. Brilliant. I'm also reposting Maryn's suggestion from the Bachman thread that she's too lazy to post (hey, she said so herself!):
Wonkette: Report as Shockingly Offensive
Save Nadine? might look good on a coffee mug?
My top 3 are:
snarkoterrorist
Cogito Ergo Snark
and
Reported as Shockingly Offensive
And Ken.....I don't know about the cheney vibrator.......there's just too big a chance that Mary could end of on the receiving end of one of those, and, well, eww.
I ain't sophistumcated like y'all so it took me a while to get yer latin, but now that I do I like Cogito Ergo Snark, too, though I wouldn't buy it.
I would definitely buy a shirt that said Maf54.
I would definitely buy a "Pink Sugar, please" shirt for a friend.
I would definitely buy a "Show me where the congressman touched you?" shirt.
I might buy an LNS logo shirt. I would probably buy an LNS polo shirt with an extra poppable collar for halloween. (though as I think about it, an LNS shirt could run into some copyright issues).
How about the blackberry holster, but have it say
"LNSers: Hump Here. xoxo - Wonkette"
murg: He's totally fine. We have no complaints, except for the American Idol contestants on either side of the house. And occasionally the kids drive too fast down the hill. Sent at 6:37 PM on Wednesday me: i was interviewed for the wsj today on why i like my job.
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