Jessica Cutler: Oops, She Did It Again

Slept with a bunch of people and blogged about it? Actually, no. She’s about to lose the legal services of the attorney representing her in Steinbuch v. Cutler — for the third time.

Back in April, attorney William Bode, who had been representing Jessica Cutler, withdrew (hehe) as her counsel in the case. There was some speculation as to why Bode withdrew, which he denied to the media.

Now Jessica’s latest lawyer, John Umana — who, by the way, is a “leading proponent of intelligent design,” as reported by the Legal Times — wants out. Unlike Bode, Umana has spelled out the reason for his withdrawal, and it’s the oldest reason in the book: nonpayment of fees. (The text of his motion to withdraw, which one of you helpfully forwarded to us, appears after the jump.)

This is not the first time Jessica has had problems paying her lawyers:

Umana, for example, is Cutler’s third attorney in a little more than a year. Her original lawyers, Thomas Wilson and Alexander Vincent of Washington’s Berliner, Corcoran & Rowe, sued Cutler last month in D.C. Superior Court, claiming she owed them $54,271.19. Cutler had already paid $35,000, they said.

Where did all the money go — the Playboy payment, the six-figure book advance, the HBO dough? Jessica’s website, where she solicits PayPal donations, hints at the answer: “Please — I need money for slutty clothes and drugs!”

But even the biggest cokehead/connoisseuse of slutty fashions would have a hard time burning through the cash Jessica has accumulated since she emerged as Washingtonienne. Sounds like someone could use a visit from Suze Orman.

READ MORE: jessica cutler, john umana, law, law suits, lawyers, money, robert steinbuch, sex, sex scandal, sex scandals, washingtonienne, william bode

Are You Sick of Jessica Cutler Yet?

Well, so is Judge Paul L. Friedman, who is presiding over the invasion-of-privacy lawsuit brought against Jessica by Robert Steinbuch, one of her former lovers. This afternoon Judge Friedman issued a testy memorandum opinion and order (PDF), in which he bench-slapped the lawyers in the case for their ridiculous and embarrassing conduct in the case, as well as their repeated violations of court rules.

Okay, it’s late in the afternoon, on a Friday before a holiday weekend. So forgive us for the somewhat half-assed treatment of an opinion that deserves more thorough scrutiny.

After the jump, excerpts from the ruling, along with our commentary.

READ MORE: jessica cutler, law, law suits, lawyers, paul friedman, robert steinbuch, sex, sex scandal, sex scandals, top, washingtonienne, william bode

For the Record: William Bode Too ‘Busy’ to Represent Washingtonienne

Earlier this month, we reported on the highly suspicious “notice of withdrawal” (hehe) filed by William Bode, former lawyer to Jessica Cutler, the Blogger Formerly Known as Washingtonienne. Now we bring you this update.

By way of summary: lawyers to Robert Steinbuch, the ex-lover of Jessica now suing her for invasion of privacy, moved to disqualify William Bode as Cutler’s lawyer. They argued that Bode had a conflict of interest, alleging that he was “W” — the middle-aged partner in a small Georgetown law firm, with whom Cutler had a sexual relationship, as described in her blog.

So what happened next? Bode withdrew from the case, filing a cursory notice of withdrawal that was conspicuously silent on the allegations that he was “W.”

Now Bode tells the Legal Times what he never bothered to tell the Court: that he is not “W.” Bode claims that he withdrew from Cutler’s case because he is “too busy.”

C’mon, Bill, do you really expect us to buy that? When was the last time a middle-aged male lawyer said he was too “busy” for Jessica Cutler? Unless you’ve found a younger and hotter intern to sleep with, we’re disinclined to believe you.

As for why Bode refused to address the allegations in any court filing, but was willing to discuss them with the media, our theory boils down to two words: Rule 11.

(Note to non-lawyers: Rule 11 is this rule that says you can’t lie to the Court, ‘n stuff. But lying to the media is okay — and everybody does it.)

Dirty Talk: Washingtonienne Blogger Loses Lawyer [Legal Times]
Love and Libel in Washington [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: A Spinoff from Her Sitcom: Jessica Cutler’s Legal Drama

READ MORE: corrections, for the record, jessica cutler, law, law suits, lawyers, robert steinbuch, sex, sex scandal, sex scandals, top, washingtonienne, william bode