The New Press Secretary Tony Snow News Conference
Bush: “Tony already knows most of you, and he’s agreed to take the job anyway.” Hey! Someone finally got around to reading that 50 Tricks to Great Public Speaking book he’s had sitting around for 6 years.
“My job is to make decisions, and his job is to help explain those decisions” — let’s hope we can see an inexplicable Times piece extending that stupid simplification to those crazy modern relationships we have these days.
Bush now just reading Snow’s resume… and he pronounces Gannett the same way he might pronounce a terrorist cell (G’neh?). Though how different are they to him, really?
Bush asked him about all those times Snow called him a “impotent”or “embarrassing” or “fuckface” and Tony dipped into the same book for the ol’ “You shoulda seen what I said about the other guy” gag.
“HE BELONGS TO A ROCK BAND!”
(Called “Beats Working”)
Oh shit. WHEN AND WHERE ARE THEY PLAYING, PEOPLE? Wait, is Tony in a “rock band” or does he belong to one? WHAT DOES TONY PLAY? WE NEED ANSWERS, MR. PRESIDENT.
Oh man. Final good bye to Scotty, who’s suddenly looking like the nicest and most open champion of the Press ever next to the slick, coiffed, and trained motherfucker who sidles up to the mic and manages to fit more smooth bullshit into his 15 second greeting than McClellan could manage in a whole briefing.
Why were we excited about this again?
Snow Takes White House Job [CNN]
READ MORE: breaking, george w. bush, news, scott mcclellan, shake-ups, tony snow, top
god damn it. now i have three options to puzzle over when my friends make snowing references.
by floater on 04/26/06 10:37 AM
So I read in this morning's paper that Tony Snow had his colon removed. Concerns about what effect this will have on his syntax- let alone digestion -aside, doesn't this mean that the brazen Bushies have just appointed a Press Secretary they (& we) already know is full of shit ??? Just asking.... ;-)
by P. Tronius Tirebiter on 04/26/06 12:28 PM
Finally, a TV personality to give press conferences!
Why didn't they do this six years ago? This guy won't have any trouble "keeping to the script," as it were.
by Ben on 04/26/06 01:04 PM
To leave a comment, please login with your Wonkette comments username and password. (How can I become a commenter?)
Warning: include(floater.inc.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /wk/web/wonkette_assets/wonkette/politics/top/the-new-press-secretary-tony-snow-news-conference-169690.php on line 178
Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening 'floater.inc.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/share/php:/usr/share/pear:/wk/web/wordpress_3//inc/') in /wk/web/wonkette_assets/wonkette/politics/top/the-new-press-secretary-tony-snow-news-conference-169690.php on line 178