Instant Team Party Crash: Legoland Uber Alles
“Whaddya mean ‘what’s in the water bottle?’”
Actual reporting? On Wonkette? No! Because we didn’t pay anyone! And it’s not really news, so much as an obsession with an oft-soused media whore! We didn’t go anywhere, obviously, but we did send Wonkette Photographer Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter!
And freelance writer Mike Sanderson, responding to our call for “unemployed all-purpose contrarians,” sent us a full, first-hand report of the proceedings:
I just left the Hitch-Sully Denmark solidarity anti-protest. A perfect counterpoint, in tone, to the violent anti-Denmark demonstrations: about 75 men and women in black coats, milling listlessly at the end of a tree-lined cul-de-sac, holding little flags or homemade Danish paraphanalia, making small talk with each other awkwardly for an hour in the cold wind. Sully didn’t show up until 12:50, but Hitch was there the whole time. You’re right that he ignored his readers, and instead devoted his attention to the print and television media reporters present. Who were desperate for something to report on.
More of his report, and the rest of the gallery of pictures (Liz got all up in Hitch’s grill!), after the jump:
There were several Hitch-followers attempting to step into the breech and rally the crowd, though preparation seemed lacking. “Show us your pastries!” one exhorted, holding up a cream-filled plastic-wrapped Danish (get it?). Several other people held up other convience-store pastries, “in solidarity for Denmark!” followed by a half-hearted hurrah.
“Shit. I’m totally at the wrong rally.”
Also illustrated was the importance of deciding what to chant in advance. Initally the organizors tried “Denmark! Denmark!” “Free Speech! Free Speech!” “We’re Danes Now! We’re Danes Now!” and We’re all Danes Now!” This last one came out rather sing-songy. These didn’t last more than six or seven chants among a dozen people, but at least they punctured the monotony. I tried to speak to some of the crowd. One woman said she came from North Carolina; I didn’t have the heart to ask “why?” Another rapid Hitch fan said he flew in from California to see him.
Once the Wash Times editorial board shows up, you got yourself a party.
By the time 12:35 rolled around things got more desperate. Hitch had moved on to the print reporters, and the quasi-organizers had apparently brainstormed longer chants. They tried (I’m not kidding) “Ho Ho He He / Freedom of speech has got to stay!” Then back to “We’re all Danes now!” and “We Love Denmark!” followed by “We elska Denmark!” (We love Denmark in Danish, I was told. Apparently there were some Danes in attendance.) Then there was “No Dhinnis in Denmark!” Dhinnis, I was told, are non-Muslims who are restricted by Islamic law in Muslim counties (“dhimmis”? —ed); I didn’t get it either, and it didn’t last. Finally someone tried leading a chant of (again no kidding) “Land of Lego, We love you!”
That was the last attempt. At 1 p.m. Hitch got up on a rock, addressed us as “Comrades, brothers and sisters,” made some pro-forma remarks about protecting freedom of expression in all places, and told us he’d promised the Danish embassy we’d disburse at 1 (hahaha —ed). He also said he would like to lead a march to the Iraqi embassy to show solidarity with that country, but there wasn’t time (hahahahaha —ed). And so our mob politely disbursed, back down Whitehaven Street to Massachusetts Ave. Who says the best lack all conviction?
Is that — OMIGOD! CLIFF MAY! PINCH ME!
Not part of the rally, just really excited that his kid got an ‘A’ on his geography report.
Vital Perspective has video, former Wonkette guest-ed Glenn has more pics. They aren’t as awesome as ours.
And according to Crossing Wall Street, our correspondents missed Hitch’s brief run-in with the cops, who asked him for his permit and what the name of his “group” was (Hitch: “Um, Citizens for Denmark.” That’s a brilliant mind at work, folks).
READ MORE: andrew sullivan, cartoon violence, christopher hitchens, cliff may, danes, pictures, protests, rallies, reporting, team party crash, top
What's the brochure Hitch is holding? I can't make out the company name.
by Juvenal on 02/24/06 04:19 PM
We're all Clare Danes now!
By the way, can anyone tell what brochure Hitch is holding? It looks like some kind of investment firm, saying "We succeed only when our clients succeed." But I can't tell who it belongs to. (Apparently, this is a pretty common motto.
Is Hitch looking for new investment options? Inquiring minds want to know!
by Jesse on 02/24/06 04:32 PM
Anything on his reading material? What magazine has the insipid "we succeed only when our clients succeed" ad on the back cover this week?
by Andrew Case on 02/24/06 04:45 PM
The fat disheveled guy smoking butts just looks like someone who should be hated.
by Montecore on 02/24/06 04:46 PM
It's not an investment firm, the brochure is from the law firm Edwards Angell Palmer & Dodge. Maybe he needs some legal advice instead of investment advice!
by Pemabuk on 02/24/06 05:01 PM
Hitch is holding a copy of "The National Interest," the new wannabe-elite foreign policy magazine. You're looking at the back cover, which is an ad for some brokerage or something.
Probably inadvertent, but still an awkward thing to be holding up while giving TV interviews. But then it's strange to be chain-smoking while giving TV interviews, too.
--Mike S.
by MikeWDC on 02/24/06 05:09 PM
Appears more to be a magazine with the investment firm ad on the back cover?
by Andrew Case on 02/24/06 05:16 PM
Yeah I think it looks like a magazine cover with the firm add on the back too. Too think to be one of those things the firms put out touting their latest deals, etc.
by Pemabuk on 02/24/06 05:37 PM
This is one of the funniest posts to the "blogoshpere" ever, but you use the Andrew Sullivan tag with no mention of his name? Bad form, but not nearly as bad in form as him not listing Matt Drudge as his editor. I'd be willing to bet he's let Drudge decide 90% of what he reads over the internet for years.
The "wannabe-elite foreign policy magazine" Hitch is holding is The American Interest (www.the-american-interest.com), in fact. I should know: I work there.
And the AI's editor, Adam Garfinkle, was the one who filled in Wonkette about "dhimmis." Here's what he wrote about it: http://www.the-american-interest.com/contd/?p=262.
There was too mention of Andrew Sullivan! First blockquote: "Sully didn't show up until 12:50, but Hitch was there the whole time."
Anyone know if Hitch ever lit that goddam cigarette? What, is he in a high school play?
by Pareene on 02/24/06 06:31 PM
hehe, yeah I didn't have time to read it thoroughly and just did a browser search for 'sullivan' Egg on my face.
As I told your tipster, as re: "Totally at the wrong rally," that's me you've a picture of there! I am, however, surprised to find you unacquainted with the concept of an "American Cowboy Crusader." I had thought the term to be in wide circulation.
by Grim on 02/24/06 08:38 PM
UPDATE: Why wasn't there time to march to the Iraqi Embassy, as Hitch said he wanted to? Because after the rally, he, Sully, and others were going out to lunch: see http://time.blogs.com/daily_dish/2006/02/standing_with_d.h...
Regarding the American Interest: If I'd known I was interacting with the editor of a magazine, I would have been more deferential. Apparently at the anti-protest we interacted. After I'd asked to clarify what people were chanting (the latest round of chanting had been too weak to reach where I was standing) Adam Garfinkle, apparently, told me he'd tried to chant, "Shall we Dansk?"
Me: What?
Adam: You know, haven't you seen "The King and I"? "Shall We Dance"? [Starts singing, presumably from "The King and I"]
Me: Oh, no, I haven't seen it, but I get the reference. I didn't hear anyone chanting it.
Adam: I was the only one. It was clever, but was a failure.
Me: Uh, you're right about the second part.
I had no idea I was talking to a magazine editor! My sincerest apologies! Seriously, though, "wannabe-elite" was a cheap shot, but I stand by it. The magazine's only published two issues! I'll be sure to check it out now that I've insulted the editor. And he did fill me in on dhimmis, though at the time I was only a "wannabe-Wonkette contributor."
by MikeWDC on 02/24/06 09:59 PM
Hey, Dan:
"Incidentally, the magazine Hitch is holding in the photos on Wonkette is none other than the Spring 2006 issue of The American Interest, which will be on newsstands by March 6"
It's Feb. 24. How's Hitch get the advance copy? I smell product placement payola, all the more funny because he backed out and only showed the back page.
by Juvenal on 02/24/06 10:02 PM
I must admit:
"Whaddya mean 'what's in the water bottle?'"
Had me randomly chuckling tonight, poor Hitchens, what a tragic figure.
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