Remainders: Pandering and Perversion

• The Hotline panders to the pandering John McCain. [Hotline On Call]

• Ah, the Democrats, they can’t get anything right — not even pandering to the ranks of DeLay-haters. [Boozhy]

• Hey, have you heard about Brian Doyle, this dirty old man at DHS… [Wonkette]

READ MORE: Democrats, Remainders, brian doyle, hotline, john mccain, pandering, the hotline, tom delay

Rumors of Rumsfeld’s Demise: Greatly Exaggerated?

They appear to be unsubstantiated — but since we specialize in unsubstantiated rumors around here, consider this speculation, from The Hotline:

It did not escape the notice of Washington wags that on the third anniversary of the commencement of major combat operations in Iraq, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was nowhere to be seen on the Sunday shows.

And in an era when resignation rumors are, shall we say, overdetermined, his absence once again predictably is fueling an onslaught of Monday morning rumors.

They don’t seem to be true, but several news organizations are chasing them anyway.

If you have any good gossip on this subject, please feel free to share. (But if you’d like to submit a rant against Rumsfeld, we’ll pass; we’re perfectly capable of writing our own anti-Rumsfeld rants.)

About Those Rumsfeld Rumors… [The Hotline]

Earlier: Rummy’s Got Your Number, Abu Musab al-Majority of Americans

READ MORE: donald rumsfeld, hotline, resignations, retirements, rumors, the hotline, unverified rumors

Stephen Colbert’s Bipartisan Outreach Effort

Earlier this afternoon, a Capitol Hill source advised us:

Stephen Colbert is sitting in a conference room in the Cannon House Office building interviewing a Member of Congress — I could only see the back of the Member’s head so I can’t be certain of the identity — it may be Brad Sherman (D-CA). The Member is in on the joke, whoever it is, as Colbert did a number of takes opening the door to let a faux pizza delivery guy into the room.

Funny how at the exact moment Stephen is in D.C. trying to making Medicare Prescription drug coverage funny for the umpteenth time, Jon Stewart is getting his final tux fitting and getting one last Botox tune-up before the Oscars debut on Sunday.

Marc Ambinder of The Hotline offers this report on Colbert’s visit to the Hill:

Stephen Colbert dropped by a meeting of Republican press secretaries today with a joke and a plea: He said that Democrats are eager to appear on a segment of “The Colbert Report” that profiles the country’s congressional districts, one-by-one. For the most part, Republicans aren’t. Colbert wanted these staffers to offer up their bosses as targets.

Ambinder’s very valid question: “[W]hy should Republicans go on his show? [Colbert] plays a Bill O’Reilly-esque character who milks irony out of a superficial version of a Bushian worldview (as conceived of by smart liberals.)”

Wonkette’s (half-joking) answer: “Aw, come on — everyone’s a whore for TV time! And what other national television show would ever put a random, non-celeb representative on air?” (We’re not counting the Sunday shows — which Ana Marie Cox watches, so you don’t have to.)

In other words: Rep. Whatshisface (R-Who Cares) will never make it on to Hardball, unless he kidnaps a white girl.

Colbert Seeks Rapport with GOPers [The Hotline]

READ MORE: Hill, brad sherman, capitol hill, colbert report, hardball, hotline, marc ambinder, stephen colbert, television, the colbert report, the hotline

Gossip Roundup: The Ubersexual Mantle

• Page Six: Ted Koppel may ink multi-million dollar deal with HBO when he leaves “Nightline”… Rush Limbaugh defines himself as an ubersexual. [NYP, NYP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Chuck Todd apologizes to Richard Bradley after The Hotline repeatedly referenced him as “Ex-Dick Blow.”… Juanita Broaddrick, Kathleen Willey will visit the Clinton Library for publicity. [NYDN]
• Inside Politics: Spike Lee says the government may have destroyed the levee in New Orleans to “displace al the black people.”… Rick Santorum, Hillary Clinton use U2 concerts to raise money; the band complains. [WT]

READ MORE: Personalities, bill clinton, chuck todd, clinton library, hbo, hillary clinton, juanita broaddrick, kathleen willey, katrina, new orleans, nightline, richard bradley, rick santorum, rush limbaugh, spike lee, ted koppel, the hotline, u2, ubersexual