Click, enlarge, RSVP.

Because we’re feeling slightly more meanspirited than usual today, here’s an invite to a velvet-rope young Republican party over at Smith Point. It may not look like much, but the attached email is what makes posting it fun:

Because we want this event to be a comfortable, fun event for our young Republicans and special guests, we are going to have a strict guest list at the door. Anyone who is not on the guest list will not get in.
[…]
We also encourage all of these people to send their name and organization to this address even if they cannot attend because we are close to finalizing plans for an intimate black tie dinner with one of the most influential people in the Republican Party. Only this list will be invited to this event.

Sure sure, very exclusive. But doesn’t that invite describe every night at Smith Point?

Finally, a family-values Republican who takes that pledge seriously. Does raise some questions about the wife and kids, though.

Congressman Bob Goodlatte
The 52-Year-Old Virgin? [Hit&Run]

Last night, Joe Lieberman assured Ned Lamont that he is not, despite his greatest longings, George Bush. But what if he were? Well, for one thing, he’d spend a lot more time with Laura Bush, and… whoah, pardon me while I lie down for a moment, because the whole idea of a Joe ‘n’ Laura tryst just sent me into a dizzy spell. After all, it’s the only thing which could possibly top the divine salaciousness of those totally credible Bush ‘n’ Condi rumors.

More images of a strange, alternative present where Senator Lieberman is George Bush and married to Laura after the jump!

Stand by your man. Plus: Tom Selleck!
Off to Camp David:
A glamourous affair:
Lieberman to opponent: ‘I’m not Bush’ [AP]

As a public service to our readers in Ohio, if your funds are a little low at the moment, you might want to lend a hand to Jennifer Black, better known as Congressthing Jean Schmidt’s evil twin. And it’s easy! All you have to do is find those meanies who keep defacing and/or destroying the pro-life signs on the grounds of the no-doubt ultraswanky Schmidt family farm. Heck, that doesn’t sound very hard: a couple of nights hiding in a field with a shotgun for five franklins? It’s like shooting cultural warrior fish in a barrel. And the opportunity to stand that close to Jean Schmidt’s shared gene pool? Heck, we’d do that for free.

Reward Offered In Abortion Sign Vandalism [WCPO]
Previously: “Jennifer Black”? Seriously? Why Not “Scarlett Evil” Or Something?

• The Mexican Presidential election is too close to call, with both Andrés Manuel López Obrador and Felipe Calderón claiming victory. The actual results may not be announced until Wednesday. Each candidate has promised to respect the final results. [LAT, WP, NYT]
• President Bush and Senator John McCain have forged an uneasy political bond, with McCain visited the White House regularly to advice the President and the White House tacitly helping his ‘08 bid. “”He calls me Johnny Mac,” McCain says, though they can’t actually stand each other. [NYT]
• You can’t buy happiness. [WP]
• The Democratic plan for retaking the Senate involves a big push in rural areas, especially in the midwest and south. Also, text messages. [WP, WP]
• Republicans have done an about-face on political 527 groups. After initially proposing legislation banning them, they’re now finding them a useful political tool. [WSJ]
• An LA Times survey confirms: Americans still won’t vote for weirdo religions. 37% wouldn’t vote for a Mormon president, and, unsurprisingly, 54% wouldn’t vote for a Muslim. [LAT]

• The Supreme Court strikes down the Bush Administration’s plan to try Guantanamo detainees before military commissions, as violative of both U.S. law and the Geneva Conventions. [NYT, WSJ, USAT, WP]
• The Court’s ruling places constitutional limits on Bush’s use of executive power in the war on terror and raises questions concerning how the Guantanamo Bay detainees’ cases should now be handled. Republicans are hoping to craft a legislative fix. [WP, NYT, LAT]
• As midterm elections approach, Senate Republicans are trying to figure out how to move forward on immigration reform and reach a compromise with their colleagues in the House. [WP]
• The House Republicans’ aggressive stance on immigration may harm Bush’s effort to improve the GOP’s standing with Latino voters. [WP]
• The House passes a resolution condemning the media’s recent disclosure of the Administration’s bank records surveillance program. [NYT]
• The laptop computer stolen from a Veteran Affairs employee has been recovered; personal information of veterans and military personnel apparently not accessed. [WP, NYT]
• Senate leaders will schedule a vote on proposed legislation that would relax Bush’s restrictions on stem cell research; Bush has promised to veto it if passed. [WP]
• NSA database of domestic telephone calls contains gaps; cooperation of telecommunications companies may have been less extensive than originally reported. [USAT]

Each week here at Wonkette, we take your questions and pass them off to a congressional employee — it’s like writing your congressman, but without pretending anyone important will ever see your letter. We think the endless rain got to our Anonymous Hill Staffer this week. He seems a bit down. Though it easily could’ve been your depressing questions.

After the jump: Intraparty sex:Interparty sex::incest:cheating. Or something.

I’m working on a congressional campaign in a hotly contested district. If the candidate wins, I have been told that I will have a job on the hill working for him. What sort of job should I ask for? What should I avoid?

I would ask to be made Legislative Director. That always seemed like a good job to me, because I wasn’t exactly sure what they were directing. I know they get paid a lot though. I think basically what an LD does is tell the other two or three people doing legislative work what to do, then signs the Members name when it’s all done. Did I mention they get paid a **** ton of money? Well, a **** ton more than me at least. However, I think it’s more likely that you would become a Staff Assistant. You should try to avoid that, but good luck, sucker. You’ll be a glorified intern before you know it — answering phones, making coffee, and giving tours until the interns show up, at which time you will do nothing.

I feel like keep meeting the same people over and over again in DC, and then I realized that ‘Yes, I am meeting the exact same people over and over again.’ Is it fair to say that everyone on the Hill knows each other and that within the parties it is only 2 degrees of separation?

Yes. It is fair. It’s worse than incest. The same people get the same jobs, and there’s not much coming in from the outside. People don’t really get “out” that much in the world of politics, which is why not much ever really changes in politics. I was watching the documentary Mr. Smith Goes to Washington earlier today, and even though it was filmed in the 1930’s, the same kinds of fat cats are running Congress and demolishing boys camps in order to make their rich buddies richer back in the home state. Luckily Senator Smith was able to stand up to those fat cats. It’s too bad that nobody in Congress these days is willing to stand up for what is right like Senator Smith. See, he came from the outside, and was able to do what was right. He beat the incest of Washington politics. Which is hard to do, because inbreeding has only made politicos in DC more and more retarded (which makes them very hard to deal with. Imagine how much worse it has gotten since the 30’s when Senator Smith was around!)

If someone sleeps with multiple members within the same political party — it’s not technically cheating, right?

You people should read the bible more. It says something about not cheating near the front. Maybe you have read the bible though, and that’s why you want to find the cheating loopholes. Sleeping around within your party doesn’t count as cheating, but it’s not that much fun either. However, once you step outside of Beltway, the party rule is out the window. This is because party affiliation doesn’t matter to any sexual partner outside of the Beltway. And since you don’t seem to be following, I’ll spell it out. Nobody cares about politics, so you’re irrelevant. Being the Press Secretary for some Senator might get you laid in the Hart building, but it will probably get you laughed at anywhere else. I have a feeling this is part of the reason I’m never getting laid.

What’s the worst thing about working on the Hill?

I don’t get too many questions as open ended as this. It’s a great way to get the creative juices flowing. I would have to say that the worst part about working on the Hill is that every day is like Groundhog Day. You know, like the Bill Murray movie where he woke up in the same day every day and the same **** happened over and over. In the movie though, Bill Murray did cool stuff like learn how to play the piano and find creative ways to kill himself. Unfortunately, I’m too busy sorting through constituent mail and answering questions about what our trade deficit is in order to learn how to play the piano or think too much about suicide. There isn’t any creativity to this job… you go in, write some mail, waste some time on the internet, maybe call another office to cosponsor a bill or sign your boss onto a Congressional letter, and go home. Congress really isn’t as exciting as Dana Bash tries to make it out to be. It’s more like working in a huge ass law firm with 10,000 employees all in one spot. There are 535 principals — the Members and the Senators — and the rest are just office rats. Even though you think you are “making a difference,” it’s all bull **** . You might as well work at a huge ass law firm and make more money. But working at a huge ass law firm totally sucks… so why do either? I’m still trying to figure that one out. Let me get back to you. I guess this is just a personal point of view though, as I have excluded the obvious point that realizing a bunch of boobs run the largest economy in the world, well, sucks pretty bad.

If you hate working on the Hill so much, why do you stay?

Damn, this is a good question too. I guess I have to get back to you sooner than I wanted to. I wanted to put off confronting my own professional disappointments for as long as possible. Damn you, faithful reader. I’ve actually gotten this question a lot in some form or another lately, so I might as well face it. I think I stay mainly to support my lifestyle as a functional alcoholic. Seriously. There’s nothing but boredom and disappointment around every corner of the halls of Congress. I’m not stimulated intellectually, professionally, sexually (seriously, Democrats — let’s work on hottie recruitment)… so why do I stay? It’s just easy enough working here that I really don’t have to think about the problems in my own world or the world at large. Plus, it’s just depressing enough that I want to go home and get loaded out of my mind as soon as 6:01 P.M. rolls around. They pay well too… so I can get loaded every day, come in hungover, and do my part to keep the wheels of Congress turning. Oh, and the benefits are ridiculous. Have I ever mentioned that? Uncle Sam makes sure that it’s employees get Cadillac health insurance on the cheap, a great retirement system, and $100 worth of Metro checks every month. The list goes on, but it would probably make you sick. I don’t want you throwing up on your keyboard — then your boss would know you’ve been reading Wonkette. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll work up the balls to move on from here someday… but for now it’s just working too well!

Question? Ask.

Dana Milbank, today:

Maybe it’s the early summer heat, but something has caused House Republicans to boil with rage this week — and to direct much of it at President Bush and his administration.

Hey, Dana, way to catch on to the narrative of the last 3 months. Just in time for it to shift:
So, according to the beltway’s foremost chroniclers of the obvious, House Republicans are either distancing themselves from the administration or embracing it’s most beloved pet project. Midterms, what fun.

Republicans Gone Wild [WP]
GOP Decides to Embrace War as Issue [NYT]

First-hand report from the GOP President’s Dinner fundraiser the other night:

Arlen Specter shakes my hand, doesn’t even look me in the eye, and then says “Where’s the whiskey!” Sen. Grassley’s grandson was there and apparently asked a girl from Rep. Tancredo’s office “think they’ll card me if i ask for a jim and coke?” You know the one, longish hair, scruffy tryin-to-look-jockish bear, and that dazed stoner look.

Anyone else go? Pictures would be appreciated, of course, but we’re not picky.

Someday, some smarmy **** with a girl’s name is gonna kill this act.

After a public humiliation on basic cable, Lynn Westmoreland has finally made a name for himself in the house. No, not by actually sponsoring a bill, but by helping to kill one! That bill? Why, some outdated pork called the Voting Rights Act, of course! House Republican leaders have removed the 1965 civil rights legislation from the calendar, citing their inability to add an infinite number of riders to it. And also because everyone in Congress is basically a petty, opportunist bastard. Westmoreland already has a couple nice amendments all picked out:

Those amendments, authored by Westmoreland and Rep. Charlie Norwood (R-Ga.), seek to redefine a major portion of the law requiring the Justice Department to approve any changes to voting practices in certain states.

We don’t know what the hell that means either. Whatever, Boehner could attach a rider mandating that poll monitors push all elderly voters down a staircase to test their soundness to vote, we’re not really surprised by much anymore.

VRA Pulled From House Calendar [Roll Call]

• House Republicans, convinced that a “get-tough approach” to immigration is more popular with voters than the President’s proposal, are planning a series of “field hearings” in districts in the south and southwest, delaying a final vote on any immigration proposals until the fall. [WP, NYT]
• The US-European Summits kicks off with George Bush’s visiting of various European leaders today. The talks are “shadowed” by concerns about North Korea’s nuclear program. [NYT]
• Congressional Democrats are still — surprise! — divided about Iraq. Senator John Kerry is making no new friends with his recent insistence on withdrawal by the end of the year. [WP, NYT]
• Full repeal of the Estate Tax may be off the table for good. [WP]

• House engages in long, heated, partisan debate over the Iraq War. Resolution pledging to “complete the mission” in Iraq and opposing “an arbitrary date for the withdrawal or redeployment” of U.S. troops will be voted on today. [WP; NYT; WSJ]
• Supreme Court holds that evidence gathered by the police through illegal “no knock” searches may be used in court. Divided court’s 5-4 ruling may reflect rightward move since Sandra Day O’Connor’s replacement by Samuel Alito. [NYT; WP]
• House Democrats vote 99-58 in favor of removing William Jefferson (D-LA) from the Ways and Means Committee. [WP; NYT]
• Bush signs the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act, sharply increasing the penalties for broadcast indecency, and an emergency spending bill, providing for war financing and hurricane relief. [WP; NYT]
• Political parties focus on the suburbs and exurbs as the midterm elections approach. [NYT]
• Problems with Medicare prescription-drug benefit persist. [USAT]
• Pet projects continue to loom large in the military procurement process. [WSJ]

We certainly haven’t been watching C-Span2 very closely all day, but it looks very much like Rick Santorum is the only prominent Republican Senator celebrating Seersucker Thursday, as you can see in the screenshot above. Further proof of dissension among Republican lawmakers? Or do most Republicans just not want to look like complete idiots in a midterm election year?

Great Moments in Senate Fashion [Senate Majority Project]

Hotline, today:
Top, George Allen. Bottom, Rudy Giuliani. But that’s an entirely different poll…

Let’s make it scientific, shall we?

Polls close tomorrow whenever we remember. Winner gets Marc Ambinder to call him frontrunner for a whole week.

‘08 GOP Reagan-Off: Geekier Reagan-Meeting Haircut? [Hotline]

• Recent good news, including the killing of Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi and the non-indictment of Karl Rove, may lift President Bush’s poll numbers, allowing the White House and the GOP to get off the defensive. [WP; WP]
• Democrats pick Vietnam War veteran and former Reagan Navy Secretary James Webb to run against Sen. George Allen (R-VA). [WP; WP; NYT]
• At the Take Back America conference, liberal activists boo and hiss at Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY), after she reiterates her opposition to a timetable for Iraq withdrawal. Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) denounces the war, to cheers and applause. [WP]
• Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) pleads guilty to driving under the influence of prescription medication, gets a year of probation. [WP; NYT]
• Rep. Alan Mollohan (D-WV), currently under federal investigation, acknowledges numerous mistakes in his financial disclosure forms. [WP; NYT]
• Fraudulent claims for Hurricane Katrina and Rita assistance may total as much as $1.4 billion; FEMA paid for “season football tickets, a tropical vacation and even a divorce lawyer.” [WP; NYT; USAT]
• Tropical Storm Alberto weakens before making landfall, failing to reach hurricane strength; “a splash in the panhandle.” [WP; NYT; USAT]
• Core consumer prices rose against last month, making another rate hike from the Fed likely. [WSJ]
• Family of Guantanamo prisoner questions whether he committed suicide. [WP]

• Delayed discovery of three detainee suicides at Guantanamo Bay raises questions concerning whether regulations for supervision of prisoners were followed. Army general compares the suicides to the 9/11 attacks. [NYT; WP]
• Race between House immigration hawk J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ) and Democratic challenger Harry Mitchell is shaping up as a referendum on immigration policy. [WP]
• Immigration issue also complicates Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s re-election bid in California. [WSJ]
• Iran offers initial reaction to Western nuclear proposal; deems some parts acceptable, but offers no specifics. [WP]
• Democrats’ chances of scoring wins in governors’ races may be slipping. [USAT]
• Prominent Democrats schmooze with bloggers at Yearly Kos, reflecting growing clout of netroots. [Time; LAT]
• Deputy national security adviser Meghan L. O’Sullivan plays key role in shaping President Bush’s views on Iraq. [NYT]
• G-8 nations express concern over debt burdens of developing nations. [WSJ]
• States use new freedom from federal Medicaid rules to reshape the program so that it looks more like private insurance. [WP]
• Justice Department study reports that Arab-Americans fear racial profiling and immigration enforcement more than hate crimes. [NYT]
• Four Democrats in Congress issue statement defending indicted law firm known for plaintiffs’ class action lawsuits. [NYT]

• Sen. Specter (R-Pa.) proposes to give Bush the choice of getting a warrant from a special court for surveillance programs; proposal would specifically not limit presidential powers. Specter: “I think he [Cheney] is serious about trying to work something out. For the first time, he said they are willing to consider legislation.” [WP]
• Cheney says his communications with Sen. Specter “are not unusual.” Specter: “He does not face head on; he does not deal with his not having taken it up with the chairman. This isn’t me personally; this is institutional. This is not the way government works, to deal with a committee without going through the chairman.” [WP, NYT]
• Rep. DeLay (R-Tex.) gives “defiant retirement speech”: “I did a good job… Given the chance to do it all again, there’s only one thing I’d change. I’d fight even harder.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi will provide little reprieve for Republians feeling political heat. Official: “We don’t want another ‘Mission Accomplished’ moment.” [WSJ]
• Troop levels in Iraq will not be down to 100,000 by the end of this year. [NYT]
• Senate is three votes shy of repealing the estate tax. Sen. Lott (R-Miss.): “The conservative base will appreciate the fact that we are trying.” [NYT, LAT, WSJ, USAT]

• House and Senate negotiators agree on $94.5B for Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Gulf Coast; Bush gets his way on hurricane relief. [WP]
• Congressional Black Caucus opposes leadership move to get Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) off of the Ways and Means Committee. [LAT]
• Police suspect computer containing Veterans Affairs data was stolen for parts, not names. [WP, NYT]
• Rep. DeLay’s former chief of staff was a top recipient of privately funded travel; cost of trips totaled $85,000. [WP]
• Congress is aging; the average age in the Senate is 60.4 years. [USAT]

• A political party has really sunk low when their best candidate doesn’t even, you know, exist. [Logged Hours]

• How Ann Coulter Got Crazy, Got Evil, and Got A Book Deal. [Rude Pudit]

• In the quiet moments, George Soros dreams of being Teddy Roosevelt. [Rocketboom]

• The Mexican presidential election as a Menudo concert. [Cruel Sommer]

• The death estate tax must be eliminated! The aristocracy of idiot sons can’t be delayed! [The Swift Report]

• Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, al-Qaida leader, is killed in Iraq by a “precision airstrike”; Bush says it’s “a significant victory in the war on terror.” [AP]
• George H.W. Bush “waged a secret campaign over several months” to replace Rumsfeld with a “retired four-star general,” but the president held firm. [Salon]
• Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) exposes how Cheney played hardball with the Judiciary Committee. [NYT]
• Victory in California primary “settled Republicans nerves,” but the margin was slim and the campaign was expense. Ken Mehlman: “You see a lot of things that are bellwethers, and they indicate Republicans are in position to hold Congress.” Professor: “The fact that Busby got 15 points over Democratic registration, that should make Republicans nervous. It’s not that Bilbray won. This is a safe Republican seat. I was very surprised that $5 million doesn’t allow you to break 50 percent.” [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]
• Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage fails to get 60 votes needed to end debate; roll calls ends with 49 yeas, 48 nays. Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.): “We’re not going to stop until marriage between a man and a woman is protected… for the future of our children in this society.” [WP, NYT, USAT]
• FBI threatened to pick the lock of Rep. William Jefferson’s office when a Capitol Police official hesitated. [WP]

• Democrats criticize loss of personal data by the Veterans Affairs Department. [NYT]
• House and Senate negotiators agree on $8B aid package for Louisiana. [NYT]
• Bush wants immigrants to learn English. [NYT]
• Senators push for overhaul of estate tax. [WSJ]
• Stepdaughter of Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-Calif.) received over $40,000 from his lobbyist-backed PAC. [WP]

• Primary results “yielded no significant surprises”; Republican Brian Bilbray beats Democrat Francine Busby in race for Rep. Randy Cunningham’s seat. [WP, LAT]
• Cheney brokers deal to keep telephone company executives from testifying about NSA database. [USAT]
• Some Republican Senators think the recent focus on “ideologically charged topics” like gay marriage could backfire; voters have more pressing concerns. Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.): “I know in many meetings of our colleagues when the issue of marriage comes up, heads drop. It is just an issue that people just feel uncomfortable talking about. It’s something that maybe in some respects they feel like, why do we even have to? Why is this even an issue?” [NYT]
• Use of “taxpayer-funded databases” provides an advantage to incumbents who can “cultivate constituents more attentively than ever.” Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.): “As incumbents, we have unlimited access to the most up-to-date technology in the world.” [WP]
• FBI sought proof that Rep. William Jefferson may have tried to bribe the vice president of Nigeria. [NYT, LAT]
• Judiciary Panel members are riled by a Justice Department official’s refusal to say “whether the Bush administration has ever considered prosecuting journalists for publishing leaked national security information.” [WP]
• Tom DeLay says “panic, depression and woe-is-me-ism” risks losing the election for the GOP. [USAT, USAT]

• Lobbyist started and funded a retirement account for Tom DeLay’s wife; his family received about half a million dollars from the lobbyist. [WP]
• Bush shifts his attention to the immigration debate in the House. [NYT]
• Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco (D-La.) will ban most abortions if Roe v. Wade is overturned. [NYT]
• Rep. Katherine Harris (R-Fla.) keeps campaigning for Senate even though it’s “perceived as a lost cause or, worse, a joke.” Joe Scarborough: “She has absolutely no chance of winning.” [NYT]
• Sen. Sam Brownback is so faith-based that he “sometimes sounds as though he’s quoting the Bible even when he isn’t.” Brownback: “I could be the right person with the right message at the right moment. And I could be completely wrong and I’ll still be happy about it… What the world needs now, is love, sweet love.” [WP]
• Estate tax divides Republicans. [NYT]
• Weld drops out of New York gubernatorial race. [WP]

• Bush renews call to ban gay marriage; social conservatives cheer the “litmus test” as critics contend the move is mainly political. James Dobson: “It is true what this vote will do will be to help the voters identify who is and is not supportive of the family, and I think those that are not are going to have to answer for it.” [WP, NYT, USAT]
• This week’s Senate agenda, from the ban on gay marriage to a repeal of the estate tax, is “all about” motivating conservative voters. Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.) on the marriage amendment: “I am confident that the American people will see this for what it is: a mean-spirited attempt to score political points in an election year.” [WP, W$J]
• Intense campaigning is already underway for the midterm election, “reflecting a consensus in both parties that Republicans could lose control of the House and perhaps the Senate”; Republicans have spent at least $4.5M on today’s special election for Randy Cunningham’s seat. [NYT, W$J]
• Congress and the courts “are beginning to push back against what has been the greatest expansion of presidential powers in a generation or more.” [USAT]
• Bill Clinton hopes to raise over $20M for midterm campaigns. [NYT]

• Lawmakers have accepted about $50M in free trips since 2000, nonpartisan study finds. [WP, NYT]
• David Safavian testifies that he provided “a lot of insight and advice” to Jack Abramoff; denies violating ethics rules. [USAT]
• Rep. Patrick Kennedy feels “positive” after a month at the Mayo Clinic. [NYT]

Monsignor Jim Lisante delivered the invocation at this year’s New York Republican convention. Here’s a short video clip:

For those of you stuck in office cubicles who can’t play videos, Msgr. Lisante told Republicans “to remember to love each other” (but presumably not in this way). He then urged supporters of the competing GOP candidates not to “hate the other guy,” because “[t]he other guy, whoever he is, is still better than Eliot Spitzer.”

Surprising partisanship for an invocation? Maybe, but not that surprising. It was the GOP convention — and Lisante is a regular contributor to Fox News.

Most… Partisan… Invocation… Ever [The Daily Politics]

• Bush nominates Henry Paulson, chairman of Goldman Sachs Group, to replace John Snow at the Treasury Department; White House sought Paulson for months. [WP, W$J, USAT, LAT]
• White House acknowledges that Bush withheld the news at his press conference last week; Paulson’s net worth is estimated to be more than $700M. [NYT, NYT]
• Paulson is described as “the kind of guy who thrives in a crisis” and “a committed environmentalist and bird watcher.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Justice Department claims Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) tried to hide documents from the FBI. [WP, LAT]
• Former chief of staff to Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) testifies that Abramoff “identified his ‘champions’ in government and then showered them with favors to get inside information and help for his clients.” [WP, NYT]
• Democrats are slow to provide a specific party platform; “this cautious strategy is generating intensifying debate within the party.” [LAT]

• House Judiciary Committee Chairman James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.) begins hearings on FBI raid during congressional recess; plans to call Gonzales and Mueller to testify. [WP, NYT, USAT]
• Supreme Court ruling viewed as setback for whistle-blowers; lack of legal protection may increase retaliation. [NYT, USAT]
• 10,000 bricks have been delivered to Capitol Hill by anti-immigration groups. [NYT]
• Rep. Harold Ford Jr.’s Senate campaign in Tennessee may carry Democrats’ chances for ‘06. [NYT]
• Supervisor of the data analyst who removed data resigns from the Veterans Affairs Department. [NYT, USAT]
• New website wants to reshape the two parties in ‘08. [WP]

• Bush marks Memorial Day with vow to finish the wars to honor those who lost their lives: “I am in awe of the men and women who sacrifice for the freedom of the United States of America.” [NYT, WT]
• “Missing pieces” about Sen. Hillary Clinton: “What does she stand for? And where would she try to take the country if elected?” She says her philosophy “doesn’t perhaps fit in a preexisting box, but many of the problems we face as a nation don’t either.” [WP]
• Sen. Reid (D-Nev.) accepted free ringside boxing tickets from the Nevada Athletic Commission “as he was pressing legislation to increase government oversight of the sport.” Reid: “I’m not Goodie Two Shoes. I just feel these events are nothing I did wrong.” [WP]
• Both sides motivated by prospects for “Speaker Pelosi.” Republican strategist: “She ought to be a big component of the fall campaign. There are some Democrats who make really good bad guys.” [NYT]
• Trial of David Safavian will increase attention on Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) because of the testimony of his former chief of staff. [NYT]
• Security concerns linger for electronic voting machines. [WP]