Today’s Wonk’d brings us Hu Jintao, guarded like the superpower leader that he is, and Chris Rock — also being guarded, but maybe for different reasons. Jenna Bush and friends were seen, shockingly, waiting their turn in line, but the guys from Franz Ferdinand had ladies waiting in line for them. Media elites Tucker Carlson and David Gregory, ignoring high gas prices, were fillin’ ‘er up. Also spotted: Chelsea Clinton, hiding behind the latest fashions; R. Kelly, trying to get himself in more trouble; and John Ashcroft, ACTUALLY TAKING THE METRO. We deliver what we promise, plus so much more, after the jump.

We love our tipsters and all your hilarious tips, so please keep sending them to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted celeb). Thanks!

• Saw Hu Jintao standing outside the Four Seasons in Georgetown [4/22], looking like your everyday clueless tourist. I wouldn’t have known it was him had it not been for the frantic secret service agents in tuxes all over M Street blocking traffic. Those dorks don’t look so secret.
  
• [From the same tipster as prior item] A million times sexier sighting: I saw two of the new Scottish gentry, Alex Kapranos and Nick McCarthy of Franz Ferdinand, at Old Ebbitt Grill eating oysters. There is something about funky, odd looking Scottish men that just do it for me. I sure wanted to scream “Yes I want to”, but I was too chicken to do it.

• I’m a maitre ‘d at a very busy restaurant next to the White House that serves Sunday brunch (we all know the one). Yesterday [4/23], a party of three or 4 people walk in, and a spindly-looking guy gives me his name as “Bush”, whatever common last name, but I’d seen the twins in before for a Sunday morning wrap-up of Saturday night activities. So I glanced at the rest of the party, saw Jenna Bush, and told them the wait was 10-15 minutes…which happened to be the truth at the time. The Bush party got a table in the order in which they arrived, not sure about the rest. No word how many bloody marys she had to ease the hangover. She did wait patiently though, unlike many a celeb (pseudo or otherwise) I have seen before.

• Just got back from the white house press corps correspondents dinner. Amazing! But on the 8:30 shuttle from DCA to LGA I saw Chris Rock under police escort. No hand cuffs. But definitely under restrained movement. What did he do now?

• Saw Trent Lott and a couple of nondescript middle-aged white guys at the Hyatt Regency Capitol Hill lunchtime today [5/1], slinking through the lobby trying to avoid being noticed by a nearby group of Asians.

• I saw Donna Brazile yesterday at Frager’s hardware store on Capitol Hill. She was outside in the garden area buying some flowers, not that exciting, I was hoping to see her inside buying roofing or something butch, to finally confirm that she is a lesbian!

• David Gregory in a new Toyota SUV at the MacArthur Blvd Exxon yesterday [4/24]. It was a beautiful spring night and David was trying to figure out how to (1) open the fuel door and, once the fuel door was open, (2) how to remove the gas cap. The shiny new vehicle had temp tags so I’d assume this was the first time he had to fuel up (at $3.20 a gallon, for low grade regular). He made several calls on his cell phone, probably trying to get advice on how to fuel up.

• Saw Charles Krauthammer in the lobby of the Hall of the States on 4/24/06. I knew he was in a wheelchair, but I didn’t know it was one of those electric ones that speed around obnoxiously. He nearly ran over me making a beeline for the elevators. I’m surprised he didn’t leave skid marks on the marble spinning out so fast. I guess he was rushing off to write another impassioned defense of the Iraq war.

• I saw Tucker Carlson [5/1] filling up his Audi’s gas tank at a Shell station in Alexandria right off the Parkway on the way to Mount Vernon. Just a note of curiosity, is one of his children’s names “Buckley”? A gym bag in the trunk was monogrammed as such, is it an homage to William F. Buckley?

• Tonight [4/26] at Cafe Atlantico, I saw Rep. Bobby Jindal (R-LA). He was dining with a fairly large party; they were seated at a table near the front of the restaurant. Meanwhile, at the bar, DOJ hottie Rachel Brand was enjoying a glass of white wine, with two people who seemed to be colleagues.

• I saw Gwen Ifill this morning [4/27] at the corner of Connecticut Ave. and Livingston St., just inside Chevy Chase circle. I thought it was her when I saw her putting some dry cleaning in her car, but was certain when she was in line ahead of me at the Starbucks. She got some sort of coffee drink and a cinnamon scone, which they offered to heat up for her but she declined. I got a cinnamon scone as well but they didn’t offer to heat mine up. Damn Starbucks.

• I was sitting [4/24] in front of the library at the University of Mississippi, facing the Lyceum (the administrative building housing the chancellor, etc). I saw Gov. Haley Barbour drive 200 feet in a Mississippi State Trooper car in a pedestrian-only area, then get out and slowly waddle into the Lyceum with one security person. He had that air about him of an overweight, old, white, Southern male — the “I’ll take my damn time and I don’t really give a **** about anyone else” attitude. He was speaking on campus about Hurricane Katrina recovery and for some reason you had to pay $150 to attend. I’m really not sure what the money went to, because it wasn’t listed anywhere. Totally shady.

• On Saturday, 4/15, I was having lunch at the restaurant at Barneys New York in Beverly Hills, and sitting outside on the patio was Chelsea Clinton with a bunch of friends. She was rocking some big-ass sunglasses and talking on her Razr. Her friends were all very good looking, hipster types - the kind of people you’d expect to find shopping at Barneys. I then ran into Chelsea in the bathroom. She looked great - much better in person.

• Saw Ken Mehlman around lunchtime today walking from the RNC to Longworth House Office Building. He’s like 5-6 and really pasty. He was walking with some young Republican girl who asked him “so did you have a relaxing weekend?” To which he replied “Are you **** ing kidding me? A relaxing weekend?” And that was all I caught before I ran back to my office to wash the contempt off of my hands.

• Joe Scarborough seen at Starbucks (11th and E NW) on 4/28 with wife and child, looking very mystic tanned.

• Saw John Ashcroft and wife on the Orange line tonight [4/26]. They we’re headed toward VA and got off at Rosslyn. The eagles did not soar.

• Maury Povich and Connie Chung are at Nathan’s at Wisconsin & M right now [4/26]. Should be interesting.

• R. Kelly eating in Subway on M. St. [4/10]. He eyed me down. I got scared and quickly walked away.

• Deep in the bowels of his fortified bunker, devilishly wringing his hands, Hu Jintao channels his best evil scientist: “Yes, yes, my plan is working perfectly.” [Peking Duck]

• Whatcho gwon do Karl? When dey come for you? [Firedoglake]

• If Tony didn’t want the job, an audio loop would have worked just as well. [Opinions You Should Have]

Dick and Condi were, too. Photos from last week, when Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House:

Sorry for not blogging about this earlier! Guess we were asleep at the blogging wheel. Or maybe we were just “looking at our notes.”

(The Condi photo, by the way, lends support to the rumor that our superwoman Secretary of State occasionally naps at her desk.)

Also in the “we-meant-to-blog-about-this-last-week” file: the paparazzi shots of German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s bare butt (or, as the British tabloid The Sun referred to it, her “Bumdestag”). Photographers grabbed the shot while Chancellor Merkel changed into her bathing suit.

(After the jump, a not-safe-for-the-workplace photo of the German rump parliament. WARNING: Before clicking on the “More” button below, make sure your boss isn’t around.)

President Hu’s White House Visit [AFP/Getty Images]
ASSleep with the Fishes [PerezHilton]
Should Cheney Be Next? [Froomkin!]
Merkel’s Long, Strange Honeymoon [Newsweek]

• We definitely think the fact that it was a grenade and some weed is the funniest part. [The Boston Channel]

• If you listen really close, just before the music starts, you can hear that little Bush giggle; it totally ties the melody together. [Huffington Post]

• They’ve got it all wrong, there’s nothing strange about having an Iran-Contra arms dealer and discredited intelligence asset around, they’re the ones with the best jokes. What else are you gonna do sitting in a duck blind all day? [Raw Story]

• Oh please, just let the starving janitors die already, it’s obvious that Donna Shalala is the one who’s really good at cleaning up. [Star Tribune; NYT]

• For today’s installment of depressingly obvious metaphors, you need look no further: [Attytood]

• 53% disapprove of Bush in WP-ABC poll. Two-thirds complain about gas prices and a majority think the administration can reduce them, painting "a portrait of national frustration with the direction and leadership of the country, which, if not reversed in coming months, is likely to color the environment for next year's midterm elections, putting incumbents in both parties on the defensive." 52% think Bush should meet with Sheehan; Democrats and independents are disappointed by their leaders. [WP]
• Reagan library finds thousands of Roberts-related documents; officials rush to sort them out before next week's confirmation hearings. [NYT, LAT]
• Bush decides to tap oil reserves; returns to Washington to orchestrate response to Hurricane Katrina. [WP, WP]
• Oil prices likely to pass $3 a gallon this weekend. [WP]
• Incomes have not grown in five years and the poverty rate has increased to 12.7%, the Census Bureau reports. [NYT]
• Bush compares Iraq war to WWII: "They will fail, because the terrorists of our century are making the same mistake that the followers of totalitarian ideology made in the last century. They believe that democracies are inherently weak and corrupt and can be brought to their knees." [WP]
• Administration has drafted rules that weaken environmental oversight for power plants, allowing for the release of more pollution. [WP]

• Religious gap widens: 29% in Pew survey say Democrats are "generally friendly" toward religion, down from 42% in 2003; 64% open to idea of teaching intelligent design. [NYT, WP]
• White House advisors are debating whether to cap major tax deductions and exclusions. [WSJ]
• GOP strategists say California can be won --as early as '08-- by the right presidential candidate. [LAT]
• 71 liberal advocacy groups join to denounce Roberts. [WP]
• China's President Hu is irked that his meeting with Bush will not be an official state affair; White House flack says "the lunch is just a lunch." [WSJ]
• Richard Clarke disturbed by rising number of terrorist attacks related to Iraq. [WP]
• Administration launches justthinktwice.com to curb meth use. [WP]
• Jesse Helms says he's "not the least bit racist." [NYT]
• Club for Growth and the Free Enterprise Fund squabbling and imploding. [WP]