The always invaluable Henry Seltzer brings us yet another example of Scott McClellan's heroic inability to provide explanations for things he claims are easy to explain:
SCOTT McCLELLAN: Well, we're making it easier for seniors to be able to understand what is available to them. And I think the point the President was making is that he understands that these are new options and choices that are available to America's seniors, and what we want to do is talk to them about what is available to help them make an informed decision. And I think seniors are trying to go about making an informed decision. And what they're going to realize is better benefits and significant savings.Q. And what's the best plan for my mother in particular? Can you save me some time here? (Laughter.)
MR. McCLELLAN: I'm not the expert on that. Go ahead. I didn't know that's where you were going.
Our only question is this: why hasn't the administration addressed health care for seniors by ordering the widespread distribution of that purple fingerpaint they used in the Afghan and Iraqi elections? We thought that shit could cure anything.
READ MORE: pool report , scott mcclellan , unintelligibility , white house briefing
In this White House pool report, the President does the time warp again:
Not noted in your transcript: He almost said "On Sept. 11th . . . '' before catching himself and saying, "On December the 7th 1941 . . . ''You know how it is: You get a jingoism stuck in your head...
Full report after the jump.
From: White House Press Releases Date: Dec 7, 2005 1:38 PM Subject: POOL REPORT #1, 12/7/05Pool Report #1
Dec. 7, 2005
President Bush gave a speech on Iraq before the Council on Foreign Relations. The event at the Omni Shoreham Hotel was open press and you have a transcript. The motorcade left the White House at 10:30 a.m. with Karl Rove in the president's car. By 10:45 Bush had been introduced by the council's president, Richard N. Haass. Bush began the formal part of the speech by saying, ``Today we mark the anniversary of a fateful day in American history.'' Not noted in your transcript: He almost said ``On Sept. 11th . . . '' before catching himself and saying, ``On December the 7th 1941 . . . '' There was polite applause once when Bush said, ``And now the terrorists think they can make America run in Iraq, and that is not going to happen so long as I'm the Commander-in-Chief.'' He shook a few hands after the speech with audience members seated along the stage. One woman leaned over to say something to Bush – which could not be heard by your pool – and he replied, ``Proud to be here.'' The speech was over by 11:20 and the president was walking back into the Oval Office by 11:30.
Delia M. Rios
Newhouse News Service
READ MORE: White House , george w. bush , iraq , pearl harbor , pool report , top
In this White House pool report: too much information.
[Scott McClellan] denied he had ever worn a kilt. Stressed he had no intention of doing so.We suspect that this kilt question may be the subject of an ongoing investigation.
Full report after the jump, including surreal scene of Korean firefighters in spacesuits:
With their visors down, and yellow bands on their arms, some looked as if they were dressed for an outbreak of avian flu. About half a dozen, on bended knee, holding on their fire hoses, gamely provided the human foreground for several White House staff photos.
POOL REPORT #4, 11/16/05
The audience for the speech at the Kaikan Auditorium was largely old, dark suited, generally silent, but conceded a few small nods of approval. One man was reading a copy of a magazine called "Arms Control Today," which seemed apt, given the ongoing six party talks in North Korea.
Speech over, the President plunged into the front row, shaking about a dozen palms, grinning broadly at some in seeming recognition. Flotus had changed into a blue pastel two-piece suit. On the way out, the motorcade passed by hundreds of onlookers spread along the route. No flags were waved, or visible protestors evident, but dozens of camera phones were held aloft as we passed. We turned into a park, where the helicopter was already waiting. About 50 feet away, were dozens of firemen dressed in what appeared to be surreal, puffy silver space suits with large green pills strapped to their backs. With their visors down, and yellow bands on their arms, some looked as if they were dressed for an outbreak of avian flu. About half a dozen, on bended knee, holding on their fire hoses, gamely provided the human foreground for several White House staff photos. Some had helmets with bold orange flaps hanging down from each side. Beyond the trees, a red fire engine was parked in front of a temple, making a surreal sight with the silver men leaning against it.
The 20-minute ride out to Osaka International Airport, offered views over blurred beautiful hills from the open back of the helicopter. Parts of the city gleamed pink in the early evening night. At the airport the President walked with Flotus up the steps, talking to her all the way, looking relaxed with a firm wave from the top. AFI wheels up at 4.32pm local time.
Scott came back but didn't brief. Asked about his Scottish roots by your pooler, however, he denied he had ever worn a kilt. Stressed he had no intention of doing so.
Asked whether he thought the Kyoto speech would anger China, Scott said: "We have good relations with China, so we're able to speak frankly....They'bre well aware of our views."
At 5.21 for several minutes Mike Green, senior director of Asia policy at the National Security Council came back for a brief on the talks tomorrow. [transcript to follow]
Green on the difference between the administration tone on North Korea and that of South Korea: "The tone is different sometimes. ...It's very much a clear and present threat for the people of the Republican of Korea....He s Bush is well aware of that, but there can be "a slightly different emphasis."
He said the de-militarized zone was as "close to Seoul as Dulles is to the White House."
On the Doha round: Fayar Shirzad, Deputy National Security Adviser,expressed confidence that the 21 members of APEC would be able to agree a statement after the talks.
"APEC has a history of being forward leaning and very ambitious on the WTO agenda. They were helpful going into Cancun and in giving momentum to the WTO talks. The region is very heavily trade dependent...We hope that APEC can do when it speaks with one voice with the WTO agenda represents a significant bloc in WTO membership, when it speaks and lays out an agenda of ambition [it could] drive negotiating dynamics in a constructive way."
At 6.00pm, AFI lands in Busan. It is a crisp,almost foggy night. The President walks down steps provided by Korean Air, sporting a long blue overcoat, gloves that looked blue, and a scarf. Flotus emerges in a white overcoat. The President greets the welcoming line, then drives out past dozens of freshly placed flower tubs - red ponsiettas and some unidentifiable yellow flower - which appear to line the length of the runway and all the way to the airport exit. APEC 2005 flags hang along the street. As the motorcade hits the highway, the view opens up to reveal, to the right over the city a full, orange moon. A lurching ride into downtown, takes us past subdued onlookers, stacks of concrete grey high rises, and construction work. Few waved at the motorcade.
Caroline Daniel
Financial Times
READ MORE: White House , pool report , press corps , scott mcclellan , top
In this White House pool report, the President conquers his demons, and gets another scooter out of the White House:
The Leader of the Free World did, indeed, hop onto a Segway scooter and cruised for an undetermined distance at the Guest House under the no-doubt admiring gaze of his Japanese host. Duffy, through Carroll, said the new Segway was a gift from the president to the prime minister. One has to use one’s imagination as to how fast the President-guided the Segway or whether he managed a more graceful dismount than the last time he was seen on one of these scooters.We like to think he rode it one handed, whooping, yelling, "Suck on it, Fitzy!!! SUCK IT!"
Full report after the jump.
From: Press.Releases@WhiteHouse.Gov Subject: POOL REPORT #2, 11/16/05 Date: November 16, 2005 1:53:17 AM ESTPool Report #2
November 16, 2005
Scooter One, a Motorcade to shrine and meetings at Guest House
Very little first-hand color, but a confirmation of a tidbit carried, we are told, in a Japanese pool report. This is a second-hand confirmation of an incident your pooler did not witness. But Trent Duffy through the ever-helpful Carlton Carroll came to the rescue, stating that, yes, the Leader of the Free World did, indeed, hop onto a Segway scooter and cruised for an undetermined distance at the Guest House under the no-doubt admiring gaze of his Japanese host. Duffy, through Carroll, said the new Segway was a gift from the president to the prime minister. One has to use one’s imagination as to how fast the President-guided the Segway or whether he managed a more graceful dismount than the last time he was seen on one of these scooters. But Carroll said the president rode it for at least part of the drive in front of the Guest House as he presented it to his host. So he did, at least briefly, trade in his limousines, Marine One and Air Force One for Scooter One. For the record, the scooters can go as fast as 12 mph, according to their website. You’ll recall that in June 2003 there were pictures of the President trying out a Segway at Kennebunkport. The Segway went down in that test, but the president did not fall, managing to land on his two feet.
Unfortunately, nothing that your pool saw was as interesting as that. Basically, the pool followed the visiting president’s motorcade to the shrine and back to the Guest House and then saw the top of the meeting with the Prime Minister and watched the two leaders watch fish swim under a bridge as the two leaders walked to their press availability. Both men seemed very impressed by the fish and stopped and pointed. The fish were brightly colored and various sized Koi, prompting the ever-clever steno Ellen Eckert, to dub the structure, “the Bridge over the River Koi.”
If you look up “uneventful” in the dictionary, you get the morning motorcade. All it confirmed is that many Japanese own cell cameras and many of them use them when visiting presidents drive by. For those keeping score, the motorcade left the Guest House at 8:07 a.m. arriving at the shrine at 8:17 after a drive through town and past small clusters of townspeople. This pool did not see the shrine or the tour. The motorcade left for the return to the Guest House at 8:45.
At the Guest House, the pool was oh so briefly at the bilat, long enough to hear no words but to see a handshake. There were four flags arranged, two on each side of the large window behind the chairs there for the leaders.
George Condon, Copley News Service
READ MORE: White House , george w. bush , japan , pool report , press corps , segway , top
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In this White House pool report, we are all disappointed.
From: White House Press Releases
Date: Nov 7, 2005 2:47 PM
Subject: POOL REPORT 3A, 11/7/05Pool Report 3A
Correction to Pool Report 3Nov. 7, 2005
"Propositioned Pool" should read "Prepostioned Pool"
No one in your pool was "propositioned," at least as far as I know.Richard Benedetto
USA TODAY
READ MORE: White House , pool report , press corps
In this White House pool report, we discover the sacrifices that the Bush family is willing to make in order to strengthen alliances in the War on Terror:
The prince joked that much the was was afoot with respect to his son and one of the Bush girls - he didn't say which. "It seems to be an entirely hereditary feature."And we thought this talk of "the Bush dynasty" was just a metaphor.
Full report after the jump.
From: White House Press Releases
Date: Nov 2, 2005 8:39 PM
Subject: POOL REPORT #1, 11/2/05
To: WH Press Releases
POOL REPORT #1, 11/2/05: Social Dinner in Honor of the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall
Dinner - you have the menu - was served in the State Dining Room, with after dinner entertainment slated for the East Room.
Bush was seated beside Camilla, who was to his right, wearing a black skirt and top with buttons down the front with some sort of silvery beaded work along the front and a long, thin jeweled necklace - presumably diamonds but who knows? The president's mother, Barbara, was also at his table.
Prince Charles was seated at an adjacent table, with Laura Bush to his left and Nancy Reagan to his right. To Laura's left was Bush 41. Laura wore an off the shoulder gown that was a sort off cognac-rust colored
affair. Earth-toned.
Condoleezza Rice was seated at the same table, appropriately enough, with Alabama native Chuck Leavell, keyboardist for the Rolling Stones. To Condi's left was DC Mayor Anthony Williams.
At another table, Jill Horner, who accompanied Cellist Yo-Yo Ma to the dinner, was seated - Ms. Horner that is - to the left of Sec-Def Rumsfeld.
Bush gave the first toast, standing at a podium, the large portrait of a pensive Lincoln gazing over his shoulder. You might want to check these quotes against the transcript, but here is a rush version.
"Your visit is a reminder of the unique and enduring bond between the United Kingdom and the United States," Bush said in a business-like and humorless toast.
"We have no better friend than the United Kingdom," said Bush, adding that the two countries, having together faced down the facism of Nazi Germany during World War II, were now standing "side by side" in a
battle against "hatred and intolerance."
Charles followed and was more effusive, opening by recognizing what was, in effect, an international coming out for him and his second wife of seven months.
"What a joy it is for both my wife and myself to be with you here in the White House," Charles said, going on to recall his first visit to the White House, when he said he and his sister stayed as a guest of President Nixon's in 1970.
"At the time when the media were busy trying to marry me off to Tricia (sp?) Nixon."
The prince joked that much the was was afoot with respect to his son and one of the Bush girls - he didn't say which. "It seems to be an entirely hereditary feature."
Charles went on to quote Churchill on the subject of American hospitality toward British visitors, then turned to the long traditions binding the two countries.
"We share so much - history and tradition (I think), language and culture and a committment to democracy and liberty."
He mentioned the shared "horror" of the 9/11 attacks and the summer bombing in London.
And he paid tribute to the late Rosa Parks, saying "on the day Rosa Parks is laid to rest there is a powerful message I think here about tolerance and inclusion that has relevance to the whole international community."
Charles closed with a personal tribute to Bush, saying that "Truly the burden of the world rests on your shoulders."
Bob Deans
READ MORE: White House , american royalty , barb bush , pool report , prince charles
Does DC have its own Kanye West, Jr.? According to a FLOTUS (cute) pool report this afternoon, a visit to a Southeast Washington public charter school by Prince Charles, the FLOTUS, and Camilla prompted this observation from Denzell Grimes, 14: "It'’s awfully rare for white people to come to our school--like, from other countries.”"
Speak truth to power, Denzell! Or just make an observation:
Upon further review of an audiotape, the quote from Denzell Grimes appears to be incorrect. According to the tape, Grimes stated: "It's awfully rare for ROYAL people to come to our school--like from other countries."Both things technically true. You've got a future in politics, kid.
Full reports after the jump.
From: "White House Press Releases"
Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2005 16:34:31
Subject: FLOTUS POOL REPORT #1, 11/2/05FLOTUS POOL REPORT #1
Washington
November 2, 2005
The motorcade arrived at the School of Education Evolution and Development (SEED), a public charter school in Southeast Washington, at 1:51 p.m. Open access to press for arrivals, greeting line.
FLOTUS, Prince Charles of Wales and Duchess Camilla were taken on a tour of the school led by students Kendra Roberts (15, 9th grade) and Davon Jenkins (18, 12th grade) that included a visit to a dorm and the cafeteria (no pool access).
Flotus, the Prince, Camilla, and Washington Mayor Anthony Williams visited the 8th grade English classroom of teacher Melanie Brown. Students, who are beginning a segment on African literature, were seated at desks formed into squares with chairs placed out for their guests. Camilla was the first to engage with the students and the most active participant, moving from group to group and asking numerous questions. She asked one table “Do they work you quite hard?” How much homework?” then queried another on the quality of food at the school. (“Horrible, with a capital “H,” replied student Britney Rempson.) Another student, Drew Johnson, drew thanks from the duchess when he rescued her errant earring after it tumbled onto his desk. Camilla also expressed interest in school rules, asking another group of students “now, what are the punishments?”
Prince Charles queried another table of students about their television habits, asking if the students watch CNN and if they are allowed to watch television at school; he also expressed his opinion that “there are too many channels to choose from.” He seemed engaged and interested and laughed out loud at one point. At another table, FLOTUS and Mayor Williams engaged in a serious discussion about Africa and the article the students were studying. “We didn’t understand anything about the article at first,” said student Morgan Knox, “but [FLOTUS] was like another teacher in the classroom. She explained it to us.”
Following the visit, student Denzell Grimes, 14, was asked what it was like to have such high-profile visitors and responded: “It’s awfully rare for white people to come to our school--like, from other countries.”
The visitors moved on to another classroom, where they visited an 11th grade U.S. history class led by teacher Bill Stevens, then adjourned to the library to meet with students, parents and school board members (no pool access).
The visit closed with a ceremonial tree-planting and the presentation of gifts in the school courtyard, which was open to full press.
Jennifer Frey
The Washington Post
From: Press.Releases@WhiteHouse.Gov
Subject: FLOTUS POOL REPORT 1A, 11/2/05
Date: November 2, 2005 4:59:51 PM EST
Pool Report 1A
Upon further review of an audiotape, the quote from Denzell Grimes appears to be incorrect. According to the tape, Grimes stated: "It's awfully rare for ROYAL people to come to our school--like from other countries."
Jennifer Frey
The Washington Post
READ MORE: kanye west , laura bush , metro section , pool report , prince charles
Let's use these last few minutes of tea-leaf reading carefully. First, McClellan has told the press corps in the most recent WH pool report that there will "not be an announcement today regarding judicial nominees." Also, the WH will NOT have anything to say about the Fitzgerald investigation until after the announcement of the findings. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
We think it means that the White House has realized even Americans are too smart to think a SCOTUS announcement today would be just a coincidence. It also means that they're more time to campaign for Butterstick. As for Rove: Gonna be more stressful winter than you thought. Maybe you can borrow some of Cheney's heart medicine.
Report after the jump
In this White House pool report, we discover what the Republican National Committee has sacrificed in these times of national crisis: Good wine. They served Clos du Bois, which rings in safely under $10 most of the time. Gotta pay for gassing up those SUVs somehow. In other news, pooler Mark Silva notes that the President spoke at the group's "million-dollar fundraiser on the eve of... oh, eve of Wednesday," and that he told the audience “I didn't come here not to deal with major problems.”
In this White House pool report, the President inaugurates a war on gas: 
