Oh, Shit

In the tradition of all great alternative weeklies, the Washington CityPaper today publishes — for all Washingtonians seeking deep, probing journalism — “[a]n urban naturalist’s guide to crap.”

No, I’m not republishing any of the artist’s renderings of feces that accompany the story.

— Chris Geidner

The Origin of Feces [Washington CityPaper]

READ MORE: CityPaper, poo

Metro Section: Please Curb Your Curs Edition

• “Metro statistics show that compared with subway riders, bus passengers are more likely to be black women and people with lower incomes who are less likely to own a car.” The Washington Post takes on Metrobus, and uncovers a motherlode of obviousness. [Washington Post]

• “Insurgent attacks level apartment buildings one week before election.” “Reframe election discourse to focus on trivial social issues.” “Photoshopped document surfaces of you sharing drinks with Ariel Sharon and Liberace.” Family game night will never be the same after you’ve played the Third World Democracy board game! [Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset]

• We presents a late nomination for best lead sentence of a newspaper article. [Washington Post]— DCEIVER

READ MORE: metro, metro section, nation-building, poo, washington post

Everybody Poops

Our favorite part, really? “Is this possible?” Does the UN have protocol on this? Does he need a hall pass? Hold hands with a buddy? What if it weren’t possible? And how would Condi solve it? Hold out her hands?

UPDATE: Can’t stop puzzling this out. He really must be more unfamiliar with the United Nations than we thought. We all knew he didn’t like the idea of a “global test,” but does he think that covers this, uhm, arena, too?

Reuters

READ MORE: condoleezza rice, george w. bush, poo

Remainders: Poo

• A gallery of Bush-flags-stuck-in-poo images. [Made You Think via IndyBay]
• Jesus drops in on another Chosen One: “The only real difference between Me and him is his daddy found a way to forgive Bill Clinton.” [Slate]
• Worst confirmation questions ever: “If an endangered pregnant Southwestern arroyo toad were arrested for eating a single French Fry on the DC Metro while en route to obtain an illegal third trimester abortion, would your Catholic beliefs force you to recuse yourself from the case?” [How Appealing]
• Op-ed page says good-bye to Ann: “Many readers find her shrill, bombastic and mean-spirited. And those are the words used by readers who identified themselves as conservatives.” [Arizona Daily Star]

READ MORE: ann coulter, george w. bush, jesus, john g. roberts, poo