• As your attorney, Ben Bernanke commends your thrifty ways, and wants to know where you put the goddamn mescaline. [Love and Haterade]

• Menu Pages has launched in DC — it’s like what the delivery guy drops on the floor of your building, but useful. [Menu Pages DC]

• Feeling violent urges? Here’s who to take them out on. [Human Events]

• The AFI SILVERDOCS film festival has all the documentaries not made by presidential candidates. [DCist]

• This is going to make staring into that bowl of ramen tonight much more fun. [Failed Southern Lady]

• Hey drunks! Don’t forget that you’re only an alcoholic if you go to meetings. [Metroblogging DC]

• It’ll be a cold day in hell before anyone would dare block Wonkette. Nice breeze today. [Brokekid]

Some other possible outcomes of the new ban on lobbyist-bought meals:

• This law will be flat-out ignored.
• The definition of “meals” will change.
• Bag lunches for everyone! Packed with love by Patton Boggs! PB & J for you, Senator Reid, mixed greens salad for you, Sen. Murkowski, and for Sen. Feingold, a delicious shake. With notes inside saying “you’re a very special Senator.” Oh, and checks.
• The tragic end of the Russell Building’s Pizza Party Fridays (sponsored by Domino’s and Altria). And tomorrow they were gonna watch Independence Day!
• Santorum will starve to death by April.

Senators Vote to Forgo Lobbyist-Bought Meals [WP]
Related: Senator Resumes Lobbyist Huddles [WP]