Rep. Patrick Kennedy Blames Fashionable Drugs

BREAKING: IT WAS THE AMBIEN! AND THE TUMMY ACHE! SLEEP-DRIVING JUST LIKE YOU READ ABOUT IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!!!

“Last Tuesday, the Attending Physician of the United States Congress treated me for Gastroenteritis,” a stomach illness. According to Kennedy, the attending physician prescribed Phenergan, an anti-nausea medication, which in addition to treating gastroenteritis, “I now know [it] can cause drowsiness and sedation.” “Following the last series of votes Wednesday evening, I returned to my home on Capitol Hill and took the prescribed amount of Phenergan and Ambien, which was also prescribed by the Attending Physician some time ago and I occasionally take to fall asleep. Some time around 2:45am, I drove the few blocks to the Capitol Complex believing I needed to vote.

Was his excuse written by the producers of Dateline NBC? It is torn from the headlines! And it only took 20 hours to come up with!

We could’ve come up with an even more zeigeisty excuse than that, in half the time (“had to get over to Pelosi’s to watch The Sopranos, and I have the bird flu”). And what sort of doctor is prescribing that he mix medications? Is he voting under the influence? Patrick Kennedy, you are our hero. We’re thowing back a couple (dozen) in your honor. Then we’re climbin’ in our Caddy.

Kennedy Blames Accident on Medication [Roll Call]

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