Wonkette

I guess the Aurora Borealis really causes long-term organic brain damage (see also: Ted Stevens, Don Young). We could do with 49 states, right?

Also: I wanted the pacifier to explode in a sea of feedback when he threw it to the ground.

wow, that did make me wish I had some acid. So, how many people actually support this guy? his wife?

Sounds a little like William Borroughs on Sandinista, except the song is crap, the back up band is not The Clash, and the guy's an addle-pated moron. But I'm keeping an open mind about his candidacy.

Disclaimer: This should really not be viewed by anyone who is schizophrenic or has imbibed various hallucinogens and/or narcotics.

Again I say: And they won't let Stephen Colbert run?

Five stars.

War is over. If you want it.

I'm sorry, but that is so the anti-Bob Roberts that I just barfed a little on my keyboard.

Ozzies get Peter Garrett. We get Mike Gravel. What the fuck?

Can I blame Yoko Ono for this?

oh god, make him stop saying what he wants to say

I thought it was charming. Kinda like a Schoolhouse rock. Made me want to drink Wyler's and make a pair of cut-offs.

Mike Gravel = Randy Crow - likeability

I'm enchanted and ready to hitch my pony to his righteous mason pyramid in the sky.

I don't believe I've ever seen quite the assortment of candidates that I've seen this time around. well, not from the major parties. is this a sign of the end times?

You can tell he really was in Congress: "Power to the Peephole."

@norbizness: and throw in Arizona for good measure

I so totally want a Ron Paul - Mike Gravel election. I don't care what the hell they are running for, but that would be the most awesomist campaign ever.

Someone get on that for me.

Marginal Candidate Rock!

i think whoever is campaign manager or handles the press for this campaign really has the best fucking job ever. seriously. imagine being able to work with a candidate who thinks that is a great idea. i would never be sober, and that right there would make dealing with politics as business so much better. and i bet whomever is running the campaign is more wacky than huckabee's snake handler.

They tell you not to stare at the sun in fifth grade. Did he graduate?

Dear Abby,

I know of a poor, old, raving lunatic that desperately needs help but I am not sure of which facility will benefit him more: mental institution or old folks home? I am worried the most if I put him in the former or the ladder, he will not get help he desires from the other. Is there a place that does both? He wants back in to Democratic debates he didn't belong in the first place, and he needs all of the help he can get.

Ironically, he was probably beating up hippies when the original song came out.

Groovy.

This is the kind of candidate you get when marijuana is legalized, as Gravel wants to do. (I think.)

Actually, that would be awesome. Every day we'd have shit like this! America would immediately regain legitimacy in the eyes of the world as the party down country.

You had me at Fuck all, drop some acid.
Ahhh, Second Life without a keyboard!
[www.imdb.com]
So what if Gravel DID win?.
Its not like we've never had a delusional lunatic in the White House before.
We're used to it.

I LIKE MIKE!!!!!

Before YouTube this ad would have been called "subversive." Now it's just called "Hey, check it out: Pinnacle Studio 10 does green screen! Let's make some fucked up trippy video and put it up on YouTube. Maybe if we're lucky it'll go viral and our candidate will start polling in the double digits."

@ Mr. Livingston...

Not so much, no. Gravel publicly released the Pentagon Papers into the Congressional Record (he ended up in court of course) ensuring that the they were available to the public and then pretty much singlehandedly ended the draft by filibustering the bill that would have reauthorized it, forcing Nixon to let it expire. This was in the days when you actually had to work at a filibuster instead of just saying the word and jetting off to prowl mens rooms.

Then he went about destroying his own political career by taking on The Awl Bidness in his home state of Alaska over environmental regulations, a radical notion even today and complete insanity in the Oil Rush of the time.

Say what you want, and he is a nut, but he was a 'Lib's Lib' way before it was fashionable..

@southernbitch: That's just it, the people working for him are terrible. I have no fucking patience for him whining about not getting a chance and corporate censorship when he has no fucking clue what he's doing!!! He is completely incompetent! He's only raised $300,000. With the amount of free advertising he's had, in this political climate, only $300,000. The Kuch has raised $2.1 million. Gravel ought to be kicking Kucinich's ass. He's personally appealing (at least when he's not whining like a little bitch), has 50 times Kucinich's charisma, and he's actually accomplished shit! All Dennis has ever done is whine about shit (and be the worst mayor ever as a 12 year old, but that's hardly something to brag about). Gravel released the Pentagon papers, nearly singlehandedly ended the draft, and helped lead Democrats in the US Senate to opposition of Viet Nam. I'm not saying he's a viable candidate or ought to be polling above 3 percent, but he ought to be doing something! The campaign he's running reeks of utter incompetence.

Or senility... whatevs.

Damn, that's the opposite of his "The Rock" video. He must sniff some righteous glue to come up with these ads.

Wasn't William S. Burroughs on Sandinista, it was Allen Ginsberg on Combat Rock.

I need a fucking drink after that. There really aren't words.

"Dear Mr. President: There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."

Say what you will, but this is far more accessible than the eight-minute 'staring at the fire' commercial.

Gravel would easily lead in the "which candidate would you most like to drop acid with?" poll.

"Power to the PEEEE-ple."

thanks for my new avatar, mike gravel!

You people would line up like sheep behind Gravel if Rick Rubin had produced this.

hmmm...maybe if he wore his giant clock necklace.

i think the rock video will replace the burning yule log this holiday season.

I need to be held right now.

That was adorable. Mike Gravel is the Funny Uncle of America. Kooky! Petulant! Lovable! But we'll avoid spending any amount of alone time with him, ever.

@Jimbo: Today even Rubin would have Auto-Tuned and brickwall limited the hell out of it. Albini would bring power to the PEEE-ple.

@Obersenf: boy was that quip the low-hanging fruit of the thread!

biminitwst

...nothing can change the shape of things to come...

Nice one. I saw that movie when I was about ten and it blew my mind. Now I own it.

Where do I send the donation? If I could get over my worries about organized zealots taking over the legislation-by-plebiscite thing and if I could tweak it a little, then considering this dude's history (see @mfawg's comment above), I'd be there with my bellbottoms on.

@thighhigh , excuse me, mam, but we don't call 'em cut offs... we call 'em daisy dukes! You don't like trashy white guys do you? I've got most of my teeth! Also, speaking of school house rock, could you sing me the one about a bill becoming a law? It's my favorite and I can never remember.

It starts like this:

I'm just a bill, a lonely ole bill, sitting here on capitol hill...

Please, don't tell me you're a New Yorker gal with the really trendy Lisa Loeb glasses... don't tell me you're an artist... don't tell me of the bizarre combinations of coffees you have in your strange, strange, land... the north. Leave me with my mullet, my 8 ball of meth, and my '85 Camaro rs thinking that you are the trashy southern girl next door!

(It's a joke lady, don't panic!)

oh boy, it was not enough for me to simply listen to and enjoy. i had to play the mother fucker backwards. it's hard to understand because it's speeded up a bit. i reversed the entire thing, slowed it down, way down, and this is what i heard. Again, i can't say i'm 100% sure, but clearly, this is a backmask. How i know is at the end, you can hear fo' shizzle. If you want to reverse it and slow it down, you can try to decode it too. I recommend using audacity, playing the video, and recording with your webcam mike. audacity can be found at www.majorgeeks.com. (it's freeware)

Are you ready for what I hear?

"Iraq is the problem, Barak is the solution, the time is now, revolution. " (lots of mumbo jumbo, no doubt more if i slow it down even more, but let's face it, i have shit else to do today) then a repeat of "Iraq is the problem, Barak is the solution, the time is now, revolution, revolution, revolution"(mumbo jumbo here) and ends with "fo' shizzle fo' shizzle fo' shizzle." Busted! If only I could take out the echoe. I probably could now that I think about it, but my point is... this is definitely subliminal!

I'm starting a new show... it's called, wonkette web junk, CSI , NSA.

notice how the "crazy white man" is the anchor that holds the whole mixed media together. also notice, the complete absence of any other color. There are classic "Americana" images throughout the production, but no "black or mexican images". the American Gothic guy is a tripping hippy. The overall analysis of this media is this:

#1. It was definitely made by a team.
#2. They strongly support Barak Obama.
#3. They are targeting young white audiences with a subliminal message to vote for Barak Obama. The message is, your parents were hippies, here is your chance to be like the 60's, revolt against the war and the white ruling class by voting for a black man, Barak Obama.

Maybe it worked? I think I'll vote for Barak now. Or it could be that I'm just pissed that Hillary tried to give the illegal mexicans a driver's license?

Use my subconscious racism against me, you clever, clever, rapper. Invade my young white suburban mind and cause me to vote black so that you can finally get the man. W/E.

The greater context here is... we are all tired of this shit! All these sub-groups, whites, blacks, mexicans, christians, jews, muslims, and all that shit. we're fucking sick of each other. The only way we're going to be able to get along is to get high together, or something. I'm willing to dose up with whomever made this video, I swear to god, I'll trip my ass off while you explain to me, what exactly it is that you think you're doing.

I'll pay you to fucking explain this to me. Seriously. I don't want to hear your politics, or any of that shit. I just want to hear what the fuck was going through your mind when you concieved this subliminal mind fuck shit here. Then, explain to me how it is that you thought we couldn't figure it out. I'll blow you if you can give me a good answer to that one. You had little enough sense to even try this... you fucking barak-tard.

I wouldn't be so hard on gravel, have you heard him speak? Probably not, because he calls other candidates out in debates, and therefore gets no talk time and has been banned from some debates for brining up subjects that certain channels don't want brought up. I'm just as jaded as the next guy, and gravel is the only candidate that i like. period.

You all can make fun of this guy all you want, but, has he killed anyone lately? That's more than can be said for all the presidents we've had since he was last in office. If you all want someone different for a change - instead of the "same 'ole shit" we've had for the last 40 years: remember Santo Domingo(65)? Nam(47-75)? Teheran(79)? Nicaragua(80-84)?Lebanon(83)? Granada(83)? Libya(85)? Sudan (94)? Afghanistan(01[possibly legitimate])? and now Iraq(03-16, 18, 25, 50 - who knows)? I know I left a few out but my dinner's ready and it's getting cold. If you want something different from permanent war, then you have to vote for someone different. Any candidate with the nerve to put out something like that is my kind of candidate.

@BADCO-FASCISM - I concur. Any problems with this video can easily be fixed in post production.