Wonkette

A show of hands for who believes that Trent Lott really resigned to spend more time with his family or whatever! No one, right? In that vein, we begin the irresponsible rumor-mongering list of the real reason for Trent’s resignation after the jump.

• Trent finally had enough of Mitch McConnell trying to play footsie under the table at leadership meetings.

• Trent got really uncomfortable after he complained about the footsie and Mitch moved the meetings to the 6th floor men’s room in the Longworth House Office Building.
• The other Senators kept making fun of his and his wife’s matchy names: “Trish-Trent! Trish-Trent!”
• He didn’t want to be the last racist left in the Senate, and Byrd was looking damn old.
• The $1.3 million he has in his re-election account was just too little 5 years away from a re-election race to be able to win as an incumbent.
• He has gotten so fucked over by FEMA after the destruction of his house during Katrina that he needs to focus full-time on jumping through their damn hoops to get the money he was promised more than 2 years ago.
• Dealing with insurance companies after Katrina made him realize that every piece of legislation he shilled or backed for them just enabled them to fuck consumers (including himself) over more. The shame of feeling “like a woman scorned” drove him from the office crying (but he couldn’t use the men’s room to hide because of that damn McConnell guy).

Sen. Lott’s home destroyed by Katrina [CNN]
Lott, `Scorned’ After Katrina, Targets State Farm, Allstate [Bloomberg]