No Capitol Steps, No Credibility

You can’t say we didn’t warn you. DC’s Funniest Celebrity benefit went down last night, and while we missed it, our spies are everywhere. Blogger/Journalist/Funnyman/Karaoke aficionado Patrick Gavin, seen here doing his famous “semi-professional bloggers drive like this” routine:
wrote up the event, but left out one salient detail:

“I Want To Boil My Hand”
“Contemplating breaking a bottle and swallowing the glass.”
“$10 if you can do something to cause a heart attack.”

Those were some of the hand-written notes jotted down last night by two attendees during one individual’s set at last night’s “DC’s Funniest Celebrity Contest” (big fan of prepositional phrases today). No, no: We’re not naming names, but we will say this: The shock & awe air attack in Baghdad had less bombs than this guy.

Bam! He’s got a million of ‘em! But seriously, folks, we heard this guy bombed so hard, Iran won’t let the IAEA see his act!

As we said, spies everywhere. Those punchlines belonged to Bill Regardie, who, after doggedly investigating Marion Barry for years, now sits on the board of NORML. Now that’s comedy!

To get back to serious matters, if we may: Matt Cooper, still not funny.

I Want To Boil My Hand [FishbowlDC]
Earlier: When We Hear a Politically Themed Satirical Song, We Reach For Our Revolver

READ MORE: Media, benefits, bill regardie, celebrities, comedy, marion barry, matt cooper, patrick gavin