Having finally recovered from Prom, Chatology returned to her perch on the couch to sit through 3.5 hours of bone-grindingly obvious talking points. We’re used to butt-punishing workouts, but this is not our favorite among them. That said, a surprisingly sexy Sunday morning. ALSO<\/span>: Can’t get enough of that wacky Bush impressionist? We can.<\/p>

Top Topics:
•<\/b> Michael Hayden, spook or just creep? Rep. Pete Hoekstra makes news by negation: Hayden “is the wrong man at the wrong place at the wrong time.” McCain is more loving.
•<\/b> ‘06 sickness\/Congressional “culture of corruption,” with Republicans showing Reaganesque — which is to say, delusional — optimism.
•<\/b> Goss’s departure: Not did he jump or was he pushed but rather, “Pushed, shoved, or run over with a truck and stomped on the face?”<\/p>

Quotes to live by:
•<\/b> Saxby Chambliss on Hayden: He is “just a class individual” (as someone who questioned the patriotism of a paraplegic, he knows class!)
•<\/b> George Stephanopolous makes right wing bias hunters’ heads explode: “That was not one of the top four pieces of legislation that Speaker Pelosi…ah, I don’t know why I have that stuck in my head today…”
•<\/b> Chris Wallace masters the obvious: “I don’t have to tell you, you are the chairman of the intelligence committee.”
•<\/b> George Will teases the Kennedy story: “One reason this story touched all of this city’s erogenous zones…”
•<\/b> Bill Kristol looks on the bright side: “I’m looking forward to getting more sex into this scandal.”
•<\/b> David Brooks auditions to be Maureen Dowd: “This has more layers than a Tom Clancy novel.”<\/p>

Your full-on weekend chat soup after the jump.<\/p>

THIS WEEK<\/span><\/a>
Podcast<\/a>, webcast<\/a><\/p>

Dianne Feinstein<\/b>, swathed in pink — perhaps not the best choice for a woman talking about national security issues. She’s concerned about Hayden taking over the CIA <\/span>(“It’s a civilian agency.”) and, of course, NSA <\/span>wiretap. Saxby Chambliss<\/b> — winner of the Senate’s Most Awesomest Name contest (Olympia Snowe second runner-up) — says he shares concern about military running the CIA, <\/span>but “at the end of the day,” Hayden is “just a class individual” (as someone who questioned the patriotism of a paraplegic, he knows class!).<\/p>

I want to make clear that I like Dianne Feinstein. I do. But she should not have worn pink (though it’s a nice color on her). Also she had Jack Nicholson eyes. Perhaps it’s time to do a Delay?<\/p>

Discussion of CIA’<\/span>s problems, morale, lack of intelligence, and Porter Goss’s mistakes (DF: shouldn’t have brought his Hill staff over); Saxby says we can’t continue to let the people who let 9\/11 happen run the agency…White House, fine, but not the agency. The buck stops over there.<\/p>

Feinstein laying into pre-war Iraq intel, showing an emotion beyond “Ambien hangover” for the first time this morning.<\/p>

Tom DeLay<\/b> up now — what with Scott McClellan<\/b> coming up, it’s disgraced former lackeys day on This Week! George Stephanopolous<\/b> shows gas prices, poll numbers and asks about Republican House races. DeLay shows the optimism of a smiling mug shot: “none of these things will effect the races.”<\/p>

“We are paying the price of Democrat policies.” Uh, right. Because they control the House, Senate, White House… uhm… wait…<\/p>

Asked what reasons he’d tell a voter to vote Republican: “Look at the alternative” — and rattles off culture war issues. So that’s how they’re going to play it. This is going to be a long summer…<\/p>

On the “culture of corruption” charge, DeLay snaps back: “Howard Dean<\/b> is creating a culture of hypocrisy.” Says something about Pelosi being “found guilty” of ethics violations, which makes it sound like she had a trial or something. And, **** , my brain is going to explode, he just criticized the Democrats for playing the “politics of personal destruction.”<\/p>

Dean comes in, and, in his first talk block has the biggest snap of morning: “I’m not going to get into an argument with a guy who’s on his way out of Congress.” George Stephanopolous brings up the Dems who are under ethics investigations. Dean says Dems ASKED <\/span>for investigations, that’s one difference. Then we get a list of Republicans under investigation. This is not helpful, particularly, but it’s what Dean has. Is also wearing blue button-down collar shirt, with shmutz on the lapel of his jacket. Who dresses this man?<\/p>

George Stephanopolous asks if William Jefferson should resign if found guilty. Dean: “Yes.” GS: “Really?” Dean: “Yes.” I think George thought there might be some discussion of that.<\/p>

And now for the line that will cause a wingnut blogasm, George: “That was not one of the top four pieces of legislation that Speaker Pelosi…ah, I don’t know why I have that stuck in my head today…”
Dean: “I like the sound of that, George.”<\/p>

I personally don’t think it’s bias toward the Dems, George is just a VERY <\/span>excited about the midterms this year.<\/p>

George Stephanopolous quotes RNC <\/span>talking points about Dems’ intention to impeach Bush. Dean: “They just make that stuff up over there at the RNC.<\/span>” I kind of love the belligerent Dean. He’s got a weird anti-charisma, and he’s pissed: “The day has come and gone when this nation is going to believe Republicans about anything.”<\/p>

Roundtable with Martha Raddatz, George Will<\/b> and the incredibly tiresome Katrina Vanden Huevel<\/b>.<\/p>

On Goss, Will teases: “One reason this story touched all of this city’s erogenous zones…” But then somehow escapes mentioning hookers at the Watergate. Leave that to Katrina, who gets positively giddy in being able to say out loud: “poker games and prostitutes” in relation to the dismantling of the nation’s intelligence infrastructure. Raddatz plays down the angle though it is getting mention “in the blog world.”<\/p>

Raddatz points outs that if you look at the reasons given for Goss’s departure — people didn’t like him, he was a bad administrator — “And yet Don Rumsfeld remains.”<\/p>

Turning to Hayden, Will predicts a huge fight. Katrina is itching for one. Finally, a chance to hammer someone on NSA <\/span>wiretaps in a confirmation hearing. Raddatz notes that “the public does not seem terribly upset.” A bigger problem? Lack of experience with “human intelligence.” Katrina tries for the easy joke: “We need a lot more human intelligence in this city.”<\/p>

Camera pulled back to reveal that Martha is wearing kitten heel sandals, which makes me like her. Katrina, on the other hand, is dressed like Freudian analyst on a first date.<\/p>

Usual show biz segment is devoted to Scotty McClellan<\/b>, who is finally smiling for real. “Most secretaries don’t miss the podium, but they miss the job.” Talks about the importance of humor. “That’s one piece of advice I’d give anyone who wants this job.” Who in the **** ing world would want that job. Or maybe that’s the joke…<\/p>

FOX NEWS SUNDAY<\/span><\/a>
Hoekstra interview<\/a>, Biden\/Specter interview<\/a><\/p>

Hoekstra<\/b> repeats the concern about having a general in charge of the CIA.<\/span> Would “send the wrong message to our agents around the world.” Wallace:<\/b> “You think the perception is that he’d be under the sway of Rumsfeld?” Hoekstra: Duh.<\/p>

He explains, very deftly, WHY <\/span>people are concerned about having the military take over intelligence: the military cares about the danger that exists today. The CIA’<\/span>s job is to advise on intelligence that will effect policy, winning wars is a different job.<\/p>

Wallace: “I don’t have to tell you, you are the chairman of the intelligence committee.” One would hope so. “Nothing I’ve said to you today will come as a surprise to the White House.” But he’s not concerned about having to work with him — “Mike and I have a very good personal relationship.” On Goss, “I talked to him on Friday and I had no idea… The guy can<\/em> keep secrets!”<\/p>

Responding to Harman’s crit that “300 years of intelligence” have been lost under Goss, Hoekstra says that the agency was in “free fall” BEFORE Goss came on, he’s not surprised that losses continued. He’s concerned about the possibility that under the new director, the agency will become more bureaucratic. “We will push on that.”<\/p>

And this will come as a shock to many, but both Arlen Specter and Joe Biden<\/b> are on. Good thing they’re in separate studios with their own personal cameras. Wallace asks about how the WH “wouldn’t mind a fight” at the confirmation because it would show Dems to be soft on national security. “That’s ridiculous.”<\/p>

Specter says he looks forward to the confirmation as “we might be able to find out what exactly Michael Hayden was doing.” Would Specter hold up the nomination in order get answers? “I’m not making any predictions…. I want to know what the program is. We cannot judge its constitutionality until we know what it is.”<\/p>

Immigration: Are Democrats ready to vote, up or down? Biden blames the children in the House. “We’ve been stiffed by the House.” He gives a lot credit to Arlen for getting the McCain-Kennedy out of committee. “If he’s one of the conferees, we might not get rolled by the House.”<\/p>

On Judge Kavenaugh: Biden says “I have no line in the sand.” On Boyle, however: “I am unalterably opposed.” Well. Specter says he’s studying Boyle’s “potential conflicts of interest… where there may be a line in the sand for the Democrats that would be justified.” Wallace wants to know if Boyle would present the kind of “extraordinary circumstances” triggering a Gang of 14 filibuster. No, says Specter, conflict of interest is simply a disqualifier on its own. And Kavenaugh, definitely no.<\/p>

Biden talks on his three-state plan for Iraq. “The sectarian genie is out of the bottle.” Besides, “Who else offers a plan?” Good point.<\/p>

Roundtable: Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Bill Kristol, Juan Williams.<\/b><\/p>

Wallace opens: “In a town where no one likes to admit they’re surprised,” everyone was surprised. I would like to note that this a theme of my book and that Chris has copy of it on his desk at this very moment.<\/p>

Mara Liasson: OMG WHAT<\/span> IS SHE WEARING<\/span>!?!?! There is glowing, radioactive alien hairball on her lapel. Anyway: CIA <\/span>is “a regular mess.” Also Bush wanted him out for a long time.<\/p>

Kristol: Goss was “trying to do what he needed to do… and his reward was to be fired… it’s an outrage and a terrible signl to conservatives” in government. CIA <\/span>will become a “mini-State department” full of bureaucrats where Bush’s “foreign policy agenda” will not be a priority. Riiiiiight. That’s why BUSH <\/span>fired him? Kristol is genuinely outraged but it’s hard to parse how the White House would participate in it’s own disenfranchisement from the CIA.<\/span><\/p>

Juan Williams says something.<\/p>

Hume believes that Goss was “trying to do the right thing” but was unable to. “It’s way too early to conclude who won and who lost.” Kristol says Hoekstra used military objection to Hayden as a stalking horse for his real objection: Hayden is a bureaucrat with no human intel experience.<\/p>

Juan Williams says something. (Wonkette readers may be interested to know that he tosses out Fran Townsend as a possible Goss replacement.)<\/p>

Now onto “Congressmen behaving badly,” “who has the upper hand now?” Wallace teases. Wallace calls Kennedy car accident as “the saddest” incident. Hume says that Capitol police reverted to traditional role, “to protect these people, not to arrest them.” He’s surprisingly sympathetic and points out that it’s a very different kind of scandal than the others in the paper: It’s not the kind of thing that gave rise to “the culture of corruption” in either party.<\/p>

Mara’s hair could withstand a windtunnel. Says that the Dem money scandals just reinforce public perception that “everyone does it.” Kristol STEALS<\/span> MY LINE<\/span>: admits that “I’ve had a hard time following these scandals… they’re all about money and it’s hard to follow, and this week I must admit I got interested, with the talk of poker parties at the Watergate and the procurement of prostitutes.” Passes on a curious piece of folk wisdom garnered from Mara: “You don’t procure prostitutes for JUST ONE <\/span>congressman.” Economies of scale I suppose. “I’m looking forward to getting more sex into this scandal.” Mrs. Kristol has some odd turn-ons, I guess.<\/p>

Fox News Sunday mugs are now available. The perfect gift for someone who does spit takes over the New York Times.<\/p>

FACE THE NATION<\/span><\/a>
Transcript<\/a>, podcast<\/a>, Schieffer’s last word<\/a><\/p>

Bob Schieffer<\/b> dropped some acid before picking out his tie this morning. Or, rather, you will feel like you’ve dropped some acid if you look at it. Just drink this orange juice and stay away from the windows. He introduces guest John McCain<\/b> with the big question: “Is he running for president?” You know, if Bob hasn’t figured this out then I’m not sure he should interviewing McCain to begin with.<\/p>

McCain backs Hayden, despite Chambliss and Hoekstra’s objections. “With all due respect to my colleagues… Hayden is more of an intelligence expert than an Air Force officer.” Does the Air Force know this? Call CIA <\/span>director “the toughest job in Washington.” Doesn’t want the hearings to drag out, though “I want to give this a thorough hearing.” I wonder if his inner thighs hurt after all that straddling.<\/p>

Russia talk. McCain paints a picture of Putin trying to “recreate the old Russian empire,” including jailing dissidents and their support for the dictator of Belaruse. Mentions his support of Bush boycotting the G8 in St. Petersberg. “I hope he’ll have a frank discussion with Vladamir, who I know he has a good personal relationship with. But personal relationships end where oppression and repression begin.” Not straddling anything on that one.<\/p>

On to Palestine. (All this foreign policy talk sure would be helpful to someone running for president.) Can’t recognize Palestine until they renounce desire to bring an end to Israel. Will announce candidacy for president next year, “right here on Face the Nation.”<\/p>

The Falwell question. McCain puts it into context of all the speeches he gives at many universities. He and Falwell have “put our differences behind us.” Keeps saying that he loves talking to “students” at “these universities.” As for the sucking up: “I feel honored to be invited to speak there and other schools.” Talking points remain steadfast even if McCain doesn’t.<\/p>

Something he’s a little more comfortable talking about: Earmarks. “It’s a shameful practice.” Wants president to veto spending until it “gets down to his number.”<\/p>

Roundtable: Colbert King and David Brooks<\/b><\/p>

Brooks is surprised by the opposition to Hayden. “Fear of Rumsfeld” is driving it, not fear of Hayden. Colbert surprised as well, notes Hoekstra “wrong man, wrong time, wrong place” mantra. Bob is also surprised. We’re all just shocked, really.<\/p>

“This has more layers than a Tom Clancy novel,” says Brooks, which suggests that there should be more handsome people involved. And guns. And awkward sex scenes. And it would actually be easier to follow.<\/p>

Colbert has going point: Goodbye platitudes at the resignation announcement, but WH staff going on background to say Bush had lost faith in Goss. “No wonder people are cynical.”<\/p>

King and Brooks both give McCain a pass on Liberty University speech. Brooks: “It’s not going to change who he is… He’s the class clown in the back of the room, saying ‘Oh, give me a break.’” I don’t think you can be front runner from the back of the room but whatever…<\/p>

Schieffer’s final word on the Star Spangled La Bamba is cogent: Cites the times when American icons have been used in other revolutionary contexts, including the paper maiche Statue of Liberty in Tianamen Square; “when people adopt our symbols of freedom, it makes them stronger, not weaker.” Word.<\/p>

MEET THE PRESS<\/span><\/a>
Transcript<\/a>, netcast<\/a>, podcast<\/a><\/p>

Pelosi<\/b> is wearing a lime sherbet colored blazer and distracting mascara. Did Porter Goss leave voluntarily? “No.” She’s all about bipartisanship in intel but then pops up with Goss’s connection to “Republican scandals.” She’s careful: “I have NO THOUGHT <\/span>that he is caught up in it,” but talks about his questionable appointment of Foggo.<\/p>

She has serious concerns about Hayden. His connections to NSA <\/span>wiretaps, specifically, but says that shouldn’t be a topic in confirmation hearings. Hm. Criticizes the “clique” of the intelligence community, “it’s all just musical chairs.” She speaks in a strange, urgent whisper.<\/p>

NSA <\/span>wiretaps, “we shouldn’t violate the law just because they don’t have enough lawyers.” Tries to stay on the side of intelligence gathering but not endorse this specific program, uses “protect the American people” A LOT.<\/span><\/p>

She has recently come out in favor of withdrawal from Iraq… why the change of heart? Well, there’s this great guy, John Murtha… Jeez, NOW <\/span>she backs him… what a spineless ninny. Of course, a lot of things have changed: “The President continues to dig a hole in Iraq.” All the Democrats are united around the idea of “significant transition” in Iraq in 2006. Yeah yeah.<\/p>

Gas prices: It’s a national security issue and domestic issue. “We intend to achieve energy independence in 10 years.” How to support this? Would you repeal the Bush tax cut? Tim: “It all takes money.” She refuses to answer, says that ending the war in Iraq would also give them the money they need. Democrats have a goal, a timetable, a plan. Just not the power.<\/p>

Balanced budget: Democrats are committed to pay as you go, and there will be “no deficit spending.” Lots of Clinton budget surplus nostalgia. She almost gets misty-eyed.<\/p>

Taking the House: She’s not measuring for draperies, but she does want the people to know what they’ll do if they do win. Tim: Would Conyers try to impeach Bush? Pelosi: “We are not about impeachment.” There will be investigations, and hearings, tea parties and treehouses. She also says that “you don’t DECIDE <\/span>to impeach,” you go where the facts take you. This is a good point.<\/p>

Culture of corruption gets the usual “but what about the Dems” spin. Insists it’s worse for Republicans. I am just really bored right now and will stop commenting unless she veers from talking points.<\/p>

Minutes pass.<\/p>

Roundtable: Dan Balz and Todd Purdum<\/b>.<\/p>

Lead with all the horrible polls, including high disapproval from conservatives. “Dan Balz, explain.” And then he does: “Iraq… gas.” It’s not a tough question, it’s true. “The Democrats’ optimism may be slightly displaced and they are setting expections very high…. if they don’t take the house, they might feel like they lost the election.” Well said.<\/p>

Clips from Cheney interview this morning. Will he bow out to give the President a chance to pick a successor? No, no, no. Balz agrees that it’s highly unlikely… Purdum talks about his VF profile and how Cheney has changed since the 70s. “He’s always been much more conservative than people knew.”<\/p>

I kind of love how Cheney continues to insist “we are viewed as liberators.” Balz notes that “people see a different reality.” I would say, they see reality.<\/p>

Steve Bridges<\/b>, professional Bush impersonator comes on… and Tim is treating him like it was a real interview. I find this kind of humiliating but the bar is low for humor Sunday shows.<\/p>

“Why did you fire Porter Goss?”
“It’s a secret.”<\/p>

Lots of uncomfortable laughter at not great jokes.<\/p>

The clip from the Correspondents Dinner comparatively hilarious.<\/p>

Now interviewing Bridges as himself. Whew. Two and half hours of make-up go into it. That’s more time than Bush spends preparing for debates. Tim asks about “crossing the line.” Bridges has politic answer: “I want to make people laugh…without being mean.”<\/p>

No one at Atrios will believe me, but I personally have no problem with mean. Tim is so clearly energized by this interview it makes me a little sad. Bridges is talking about how Bush’s mannerisms “endear him” to people. So much for mean.<\/p>

He then makes Todd and Dan ask Bridges questions in character. I think maybe he’s giving Tony Snow an idea.<\/p>

“The more I get into it, the more I find myself backing away,” from political views. He says he has to focus on the funny. Personally I find having political beliefs helps makes things funny — it gives you something to be pissed off about.<\/p> 
Comment on this post http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-no-problem-with-mean-172207.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-no-problem-with-mean-172207.php chatology Mon, 08 May 2006 11:16:35 -0500

Sorry for the hiatus, folks. But between the dodgy servers and pictures of Katherine Harris’s breasts did you even notice? If I had to sum up yesterday’s chatfest with one word, it would be this: amneleaksty. Immigration and Fitzgerald investigation dominated — which makes sense when you realize that Fitzgerald’s grandparents were probably immigrants.<\/p>

Hot topics:
•<\/b> Immigration bill: “bureaucracy of rubber stamps” or “lack[ing] compassion”?
•<\/b> Leak investigation: Specter says the President needs to come clean, Kerry says “This was not a declassification to educate America, this was a declassification to mislead America.”
•<\/b> Nuking Iran. Scary!<\/p> Quotes to live by:
•<\/b> Stephanopoulos wonders “how do you solve this Rubik’s cube” of the budget?
•<\/b> Dionne asks “What did the president forget and when did he forget it?”
•<\/b> George Will gets legalistic: The President “was trying to discredit, punish, or seek revenge against a critic… where in the federal statues does it say that is forbidden?”
•<\/b> And in case you’re wondering why he lost: Russert introduces Kerry thusly as the man who won “48.3 percent” of the popular vote.

Kerry: “I thought it was 49.2” Tim: “48.3 — But who’s counting?”<\/blockquote>

After the jump: The most optimistic man in America, the calm and cool Joe Wilson (really), and a testy Schieffer.<\/p>

Fox News Sunday
Transcript<\/a><\/p>

Brit Hume<\/strong> in for Chris Wallace<\/strong> and the tone is suitably belligerent. Apparently there are different — “and contradictory” — reports on our plans or lack thereof to invade Iran<\/a>.<\/p>

Arlen Specter<\/strong> live from Columbia — he has a little tiny earset mic like Madonna. A pasty, male Madonna. Says the immigration compromise fell apart<\/a> because of the Democrats and because of the Senate’s “difficult and arcane rules.” Also: Democrats hate national security. And freedom.<\/p>

Huh-huh: He said “whip check.”<\/p>

Did what the President do with the NIE <\/span>constitute a “leak”?<\/a> “I don’t know, but I think the President and the Vice President need to tell the American people what happened… he owes a specific explanation to the American people.” While the “President may be entirely in the clear,” he leaves open the possibility that he isn’t. Brit Hume manages to contain himself.<\/p>

Rep. Pete King<\/strong> — angry high school wrestling coach with mobster hair — gets on to shine the bright light of truth on the immigration issue. Truth being powered by his electric green tie.<\/p>

Oh, excellent: Hume pulls up the Webster definition of “amnesty.” I wondered when we’d get to that. King insists the compromise would be “amnesty,” Brit says the bill doesn’t sound like a “pardon” to him. King hits all the talking points, noting that the idea that the supposed checks on immigration would turn into a “bureaucracy of rubber stamps” and that Congress is “scared of people waving flags on the streets.” Brit asks what the alternatives are to a guest worker program: Is there anything else that is “practicable”? (That dictionary sure comes in handy!)<\/p>

Zalmay Khalilzad<\/strong> responds to the U.S. <\/span>study<\/a> that evaluated the situation in Iraq as “somber.” “The goal was finding what we need to focus on in different provinces.” Brit wonders why “an average American” shouldn’t believe that things are deteriorating? Khalilzad says, “Well, if they were looking a year ago, they would see that things were not as good as they are now.” Huh.<\/p>

On formation of government: “Iraqis as losing their patience, as well as the international community.” Uhm, yeah. A real rhetorical risk-taker, Mr. Khalilzad.<\/p>

On the visit of Jack Straw<\/strong> and Condi Rice<\/strong>: “The people in those countries are losing patience… the vacuum that exists now is dangerous and encourages terrorists… and I think that was useful for Iraqi leaders to hear.”<\/p>

Panel: Charles Krauthammer, Mara Liasson, Bill Kristol<\/strong> and Juan Williams<\/strong>.<\/p>

NIE <\/span>right up there and, shockingly, Brit Hume wonders if the word “leak” is really appropriate. Krauthammer calls the “whole story” “absurd.” It is, but I don’t think for the reasons Charles thinks. Krauthammer posits that Scooter was really acting as a kind of friendly fact-checker for the press: He knew about the “distortions” and so he needed to correct them.<\/p>

OMG WHAT<\/span> IS MARA LIASSON WEARING<\/span>!?!?! She’s full-on plummy with oil-slick lip gloss and a huge rhinestone brooch. Agrees that if a “leak” is “unauthorized,” then, well, “this was very authorized.”<\/p>

Kristol says that while he knows people who like and respect Patrick Fitzgerald, “I now think it’s a politically motivated attempt to wound the Bush administration.”<\/p>

Immigration debate turns up as dissection of who will get hurt the most by lack of a compromise bill. Democrats benefit from lack of any bill at all, says Kristol. Liasson says that being seen as “anti-immigrant” will hurt Republicans but Republicans have been the loudest in celebrating defeat of compromise. Krauthammer says that turning immigrants into “felons” is what brought protesters into the streets and that word will be “hung around the necks of the Republican House.”<\/p>

We end with a little light hearted Saddam humor: fake state torture inspired limericks courtesy Jimmy Kimmel show. Hilarious.<\/p>

This Week
Podcast<\/a>, Boehner interview<\/a>, Wilson interview<\/a><\/p>

John Boehner<\/strong> shows off his tan. He’s seems notably less smiley than when he became leader. Budget talks not going well, though Boehner wants to talk about how they’re cracking down on earmarks. George just asked him “how do you solve this Rubik’s cube” — itself a mindtwisting metaphor. Boehner can’t help but rub it in that the House has passed an immigration bill, unlike those fancypants in the Senate. Says that the Senate compromise “sounds like amnesty” to “most Americans.” No sign of a dictionary here.<\/p>

Ninety-five House members have signed a petition to bring a discussion of Iraq policy to the floor. Boehner says that he has “no fear” of bringing a resolution to the floor. “We went to Iraq for the right reasons” and “I think we’re winning” — George interrupts, “We’re winning?” I have to say that Boehner comes across as much less of a lightweight than he did months ago. Perhaps it’s because his tan is not as dark.<\/p>

George pulls out actual copy of the NYT <\/span>to read from story about the dismal Iraq study. Old school!<\/p>

Bush and Congressional approval ratings in the crapper — is a Democratic takeover coming? Boehner: “The choices are simple.” Well, that’s true. Admits that the Republicans “have had a rough year…I’m not going to deny it.” Lists DeLay’s “troubles” as part of the roughness, George tries to edge in: “Is it better that he’s gone?” No answer. Republicans are moving forward.<\/p>

Oh, great: Joe Wilson<\/strong>. Because he needs more of a platform. He took his somber pills this morning, however. Being very frowny and disappointed. He’s the hip guidance counselor who really wishes you hadn’t tried pot. Best drama of the morning are the clips from McClellan’s briefings, wherein he looks as purple as his tie. Wilson says that the president should fire the leakers if he wants to maintain credibility. “Maintain.” Heh. Cute, Joe.<\/p>

I think I like him better in bloviating snark mode.<\/p>

George asks if he’s going to file suit against anyone in the White House, Wilson: “We’re keeping our options open.” Says that the President owes the American people an explanation first, and also one to the troops in Iraq. Okay, who gave Joe media training when we weren’t looking?<\/p>

Panel: Fareed Zakaria, George Will, Cokie Roberts<\/strong> and EJ Dionne<\/strong>.<\/p>

Will lays out the argument on the Fitzgerald side: “How can he claim to have been too busy to notice [what he did and didn’t say to reporters] when the President is involved?” That said, Will has trouble with “concept of a Presidential leak.” Fareed says that giving out a name of CIA <\/span>agent is not “declassifying.”<\/p>

Roberts runs down the recent lowlights: Katrina report, vice president shoot someone, Dubai port deal, Tom DeLay<\/strong>, Jack Abramoff<\/strong>, and who knows? Dionne trots out a line that I imagine he wrote down before coming out: “What did the president forget and when did he forget it?”<\/p>

Will: Fitzgerald report claims that the President “was trying to discredit, punish, or seek revenge against a critic… where in the federal statues does it say that is forbidden?” OMG. GREAT POINT.<\/span> I also think it does not explicitly forbid the president killing a man with his bare hands. Watch your back, John Snow!<\/p>

Zakaria notes that the Iraq report says 35 percent of the country is in trouble. Asks of Rumsfeld, et al: “Are they really seeing the same world? Are they living in some kind of fantasy?” Yes, they are. Only things missing are naked cheerleaders and beer fountains.<\/p>

George S. dubs Tom DeLay “the most optimistic man in America” for claiming that the GOP <\/span>can “grow the majority” in the House. Everyone loves Gingrich’s “had enough” quote as slogan for the Dems, though Cokie wonders if real Democrats can really beat real Republicans as opposed to generic ones. Zakaria says there are, in fact, ideas at war underneath political battles: GOP <\/span>used to be able to claim to be more competent with defense and the economy. These ideas are slipping.<\/p>

A quick detour into the Massachusetts health care plan, Cokie says states are “laboratories of democracy, yes, but also laboratories of practicality.”<\/p>

Show biz segment: Bernadette Peters<\/strong> and the ASPCA.<\/span> Everyone likes dogs.<\/p>

Meet the Press
Transcript<\/a>, podcast<\/a>, netcast<\/a><\/p>

First guest is some guy who looks vaguely familiar: John Kerry<\/strong>. Heard of him? Apparently he ran for President once, and Tim introduces him as the man who won “48.3 percent” of the popular vote.<\/p>

Kerry: “I thought it was 49.2”
Tim: “48.3 — But who’s counting?”<\/p>

Oh, I remember this **** now.<\/p>

I think Kerry’s hair is inflated. It seems to hover slightly above his head. A dark cloud, really.<\/p>

They’re talking about Kerry’s deadline\/ultimatum proposal. What will the government on demand look like? “I don’t know the answer to that today…unless you combine that with the threat of withdrawal, it’s not going to happen.” Tim points out that an immediate withdrawal could make Iraq a “haven for terrorists.” Kerry is jocular, laughs, “Oh, Tim, that’s not what I’ve proposed.” That’s because it’s what we already have.<\/p>

Tim puts up Kerry’s original proposal, from 2004: “My exit strategy is success.” Why the switch up? “Now we have no choice, because the administration didn’t do any of the other things I suggested.” Okay, answer was longer than that, but I think I can summarize: Because now the war isn’t as popular.<\/p>

Personal anecdote: “Last night, late at night, I went down to the Vietnam wall… they were added to that wall after our leaders knew the policy wasn’t working… This is not to be resolved militarily. It has to be done politically.” I wonder if Kerry himself served in Vietnam. Do any of you know?<\/p>

His vote for the war in Iraq is the one he’d most like to take back.<\/p>

I think he’s borrowed Mara Liasson’s lip gloss. And he is anti-nuking Iran. “It is the HEIGHT <\/span>of irresponsibility.”<\/p>

Re: NIE.<\/span> Tim rolls tape of Alberto Gonzales<\/strong> defending the right of the President to declassify material for whatever reason he wants. Kerry: “This was not a declassification to educate America, this was a declassification to mislead America.”<\/p>

On domestic wiretapping: “I think this impeachment talk is a waste of time…all this politics is a waste of time.” I dunno. If he broke the law…<\/p>

He manages to bring in this idea that Americans want an optimistic, bipartisan leadership in every answer, including immigration. You think he might be running for office? “I don’t know.” Of the last election: Joe Klien<\/strong>’s new book<\/a> claims that Kerry intended to speak about Abu Ghraib but that consultants went to a focus group first. CRAZY TALK.<\/span> Kerry says “I don’t know about that focus group.” Clearly.<\/p>

Now the interns debate immigration. Rep. Luis Gutierrez<\/strong>: anti-House bill. It lacks compassion. Henry Bonilla<\/strong>: pro-House bill. “We have a crisis on the border.” Talks the national security point. J.D. Hayworth<\/strong>: anti-House bill because it’s not tough enough. Is actually against birthright citizenship.<\/p>

Hayworth looks like he should be running a pool cleaning business but he did just reference the “legislative legerdemain of Lyndon Johnson<\/strong>.” The irony of the immigration debate is that discussion of it is not nearly as exciting as the enforcement and enacting of it: giant fences! Vigilantes! Death defying journeys through the desert! Maybe we could settle whole issue by having congressmen try to cross the border themselves. Survivor: Legislative Edition!<\/p>

Oh, and speaking of immunity challenges: J.D. <\/span>is the number one recipient of Abramoff donations. And he’s “so glad you asked about that.”<\/p>

Face the Nation
Transcript (PDF)<\/a>, podcast<\/a><\/p>

More interns. Reps. Thomas Tancredo<\/strong> and Xavier Becerra<\/strong>.<\/p>

Schieffer says that because of the large demonstrations, “Congress decided to punt and go on vacation.” Trancredo says it’s unlikely a bill will happen. Becerra says the compromise bill could work if they could just have a “straight up-or-down vote.” Smart borrowing of GOP <\/span>language.<\/p>

More discussion of undercover amnesty bills. Tancredo: “For the millions of people who do it the right way … it’s a slap in the face to everyone who believes in the rule of law.” Becerra gets technical: It’s not an unconditional amnesty. I dunno, I think the right’s gonna win this doublespeak contest. Repeat amnesty enough and it’ll just lose real meaning and simply be a Bad thing.<\/p>

Becerra says the economic incentives are too great to make hardline approaches work: “A fence is not going to stop you.” Oooh, dictionary definition of amnesty showdown! Tancredo says that the “textbook” definition of amnesty is simply letting someone get away with breaking the law. Then, oh well, interview order. And Schieffer gives Tancredo a slap: “You had a chance to answer my question but you choose to answer another one. And now we’re out of time.” Bi-atch.<\/p>

GM’<\/span>s Rick Wagoner<\/strong> up now. “We certainly are facing some tough issues.” Omg. He just said, “right-sizing.” FLASHBACK. Where are my legwarmers and “Baby on Board” signs? There won’t be a bailout but they are working with unions. And, by God, the new product lines are awesome. Schieffer: Is the real problem that “Americans just like Japanese cars and trucks better?” But it turns out “no one country has the silver lining on how to design cars.” Which isn’t even English. Someone clearly shuffled his index cards.<\/p>

Schieffer’s final thought: “Our elected officials have lost the ability to compromise” because of all of the favors they already owe to special interest. “Our political system is so broken, there’s not much Congress can do.” And on that note.<\/p> 
Comment on this post http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-america-for-americans-166244.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-america-for-americans-166244.php chatology Mon, 10 Apr 2006 13:34:11 -0500

This Sunday’s shows undertook a major military operation. Between the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and “Operation Swarmer,” talking heads all but saluted. Russ Feingold managed to grab some of the spotlight, and his motion to censure President Bush gave Bill Kristol another chance to rock Chris Wallace’s world: Feingold “is smarter than the Democratic congressional leadership” and “deserves credit for taking a principled stand, and I honestly think he’s winning this debate.” That sound you heard is Nancy Pelosi’s head exploding. Dick Cheney did “Face the Nation” but did not make much news beyond the world’s most awesome Freudian slip: “Most of my predecessors spent a good part of their time as President—Vice President<\/i> running for President.<\/p>

Also, debuting this week on ABCN<\/span>ews.com was “The Green Room,” a brave attempt to wring every possible bit of hot air from the “This Week” panel while they stand around uncomfortably after the show wraps in the nondescript, motel-ish decor of ABC’<\/span>s DeSale St. digs. Personally, I have always found pre-show green room chatter more interesting (everyone’s trying out their lines) and the whole thing strikes me as an empty attempt to show us another side of people who are basically one-dimensional, but I applaud this Taylorite approach to news content and hope that less practiced pundits do something stupid and\/or inspired backstage in the future.<\/p>

Top topics<\/u>: Iraq, Feingold’s censure motion and by extension the NSA <\/span>wiretap program.<\/p>

One-hit wonders<\/u>: Boston College’s Sweet Sixteen chances (“Meet the Press”); Joey Cheek, humanitarian (“This Week”); Mark McClellan, TREKKIE <\/span>(“Fox News Sunday”)<\/p>

Quotes to live by<\/u>:
•<\/b> Dick Cheney admits that shooting someone in the face<\/i> is “one of those situations that’s difficult, that generates controversy.”
•<\/b> Chris Wallace, SUPER GENIUS<\/span>: “It seems to me that the Senators who are most critical of [the NSA <\/span>wiretapping] program are the ones who know the least about it.”
•<\/b> George Will lays it out: “We need to define victory down.”
•<\/b> Sam Donaldson is totally high: “Russ Feingold threw the long ball… but it might connect, as the Washington Redskins learned in the mid-70s.”<\/p>

Also, Shorter Chris Matthews Show: David Gregory observed that “George Bush is the George Clooney of Washington… but that’s a little bit of a patina.” Wha?<\/p>

Full rundown appears after the jump<\/a>.<\/p>

Face the Nation<\/u>
Transcript<\/a><\/p>

**** CHENEY<\/span>!<\/strong> On Face the Nation! Shoots-in-the-Face-Nation!<\/p>

First of all: Nice tie. Red but with a subtle tone-on-tone check. But that’s not what Bob Schieffer<\/strong> is asking about. He’s asking about civil war in Iraq. BREAKING<\/span>: **** CHENEY DOES NOT THINK THERE<\/span> IS CIVIL WAR<\/span> IN IRAQ.<\/span> In fact, though the terrorists would LIKE <\/span>us to believe there’s a civil war, the very desperation of their acts of violence MEANS THERE<\/span> IS NO CIVIL WAR.<\/span> Hottt.<\/p>

Perhaps optimistic statements have made people become more skeptical? “There’s a constant perception because what’s newsworthy is the car bomb in Baghdad, not all the progress.” Because there is not much progress.<\/p>

“It took us A LOT <\/span>longer to put together an effective government together 200 years ago.” Some would say that’s not a fair comparison, given that the colonists were working in a much more primitive time. But the Iraqis are also ERECTING THEIR NEW NATION <\/span>without electricity and running water. Cheney points out that “Saddam<\/strong> used chemical weapons against his own folks.” Wow, HIS OWN PARENTS<\/span>? That is<\/em> bad.<\/p>

People who question the need to be at war in Iraq have a “pre-9\/11 mentality.” An INGENIOUS <\/span>talking point. They should consider using that one more. Also, Ted Kennedy<\/strong> is the “last man I would go to for guidance on national security.” What, not Tenet<\/strong>?<\/p>

Schieffer offers up the Ambien theory of presidential incompetence: “Is it possible they’re suffering a little fatigue here?” Cheney: “These are tough jobs, but we’ve got some very talented people and the country is being well-served.” When Schieffer asks if Cheney has ever thought of resigning, Cheney’s permasmirk almost blossoms into a full blown maniacal evil laugh. No, he has not considered it.<\/p>

Their good cop-bad cop routine is not intentional, but then quite the Freudian slip: “Most of my predecessors spent a good part of their time as President—Vice President<\/i> running for President.” Schieffer offers the hypothesis that maybe Cheney would step down a year before 2008 in order to let someone interested in running for President be Veep: “No, no one’s ever mentioned that to me.”<\/p>

FACE SHOOTING TIME<\/span>: Could it have been handled better? Says Dick, “It’s one of those situations that’s difficult, that generates controversy.” As opposed those other not-difficult, non-controversy-generating shots to someone’s face. Quotes Gridiron show. Notes, “We can laugh about it now.” Oh, it was pretty funny then, too. Of the notification controversy: “Strikes me as something of a tempest in a teapot.” It strikes me as shooting someone in the face.<\/p>

Schieffer’s final word has to do with the stumbling progress of lobbying reform. “Congress is drowning in a sea of corruption,” he says. And, unfortunately, they’re waving, not drowning.<\/p>

Fox News Sunday<\/u>
George Casey interview<\/a>; Dick Durbin interview<\/a><\/p>

First up, live from Baghdad, is Commanding General of Iraq’s multinational forces, George Casey<\/strong>, whose cube-like head and linebacker shoulders make him an easy favorite for Sunday Chat Show Guest Who Could Whip All Other Guests’ Asses. However, that he is wearing a visible gun holster<\/i> does not make me feel confident about stability in Iraq.<\/p>

Chris Wallace<\/strong>: “Is the war going well or badly?” Casey: “I think we — the Iraqi people are making great progress.”<\/p>

In some provinces, there are “six or less incidents of violence a day”… so it’s not “awash” in sectarian violence.<\/p>

Last year, Casey said that they’d start troop draw-down if everything continued to go well. So? Apparently, the reductions have already started. Because things have continued to go so well. He does not want to get hung on a number. Chris has a number for him: With over a hundred thousand American troops fighting and dying in Iraq, the fact that the government is still haggling and dickering, why shouldn’t Americans be outraged?<\/p>

Casey says forming a new government is “very, very hard.”<\/p>

Dem Sen. Dick Durbin<\/strong> will now agree with that. You will be surprised to learn that Durbin supports the troops, but that “I think the political leaders in Washington have failed.” Okay, sure, says Chris: “Be very specific, what is the Democratic plan?” This is very disappointing because Durbin actually starts to sound like there is one; he mentions numbers! But then we hear something about “they must form a unified government.” On Feingold’s<\/strong> censure resolution: it was caused by “the utter frustration that Republican senators refuse to ask hard questions of the administration.”<\/p>

Chris: “It seems to me that the Senators who are most critical of this program are the ones who know the least about it.” Well, that is the **** ing problem, isn’t it? They are criticizing the administration’s refusal to tell them about it<\/i>. Hey, the people who are most critical of being lied to are the ones who were lied to! Please just save your criticism until we decide to tell you enough about what we’re doing so that you can criticize it… and even then, don’t! BECAUSE THAT WILL MEAN YOU WILL HATE FREEDOM.<\/span><\/p>

Unfortunately, Durbin does not respond with incredulous outrage. It is not on his talking points. Oh, wait, a little flash of anger: Republican behavior on this issue “has become a partisan cover-up operation.”<\/p>

Is the censure motion the leading edge of impeachment proceedings? No. But “I can’t rule it out until the investigation is complete… We need more information about this program.”<\/p>

Chris: “You’re not ruling out the idea that he has broken the law?” Durbin: “We have a responsibility to see if the President broke the law… I’m waiting for more information, and you’d think this information would be forthcoming.” Gotta say, I admire Durbin for not backing down on this one.<\/p>

Chris then announces that the panel will discuss whether the censure investigation is “good for Democrats or Republicans,” which does not exactly seem the most pressing issue. That would be: DID THE PRESIDENT BREAK THE LAW<\/span>? Jesus.<\/p>

Panel is: Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Bill Kristol, Juan Williams<\/strong>. Chris says he was “genuinely surprised” about Durbin admitting that they could possibly impeach the President. Hume: “By not ruling it out, he has come as close as anyone has to admitting that [the plan to do so] is there.” That is a literally true statement, but it also doesn’t take into account the fact that Bush MAY HAVE BROKEN THE LAW<\/span>? What if he did? What should Durbin have said? “No, of course we won’t impeach the President! No matter what he did! George W. Bush is the kindest, bravest, warmest human being I’ve ever met.”<\/p>

OMG WHAT<\/span> IS MARA LIASSON WEARING<\/span>?!?!?!? SHE<\/span> IS A GIANT PLUM.<\/span> A PURPLE PEOPLE EATER. HELP<\/span>! RUNNNN AWAAAYYYY<\/span>!!!!<\/p>

Ahem.<\/p>

Chris asks her why Durbin left the door open to impeachment, Mara says that she can’t explain it. Here, I can: BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT MIGHT HAVE BROKEN THE LAW.<\/span><\/p>

Kristol says Feingold “is smarter than the Democratic congressional leadership” and “deserves credit for taking a principled stand, and I honestly think he’s winning this debate.” Points out that their sitting around discussing the censure resolution is a victory for Feingold, because “who’s defending the President’s NSA <\/span>action? Suddenly everyone’s talking about it… saying it’s fair to question what he’s done.” Wallace’s world has, yet again, been rocked: “You’re saying this is helping<\/em> the Democrats and hurting Republicans?” Kristol is unphased by the world-rocking, and you know I think he happens to be right: “As long as the charge is out there, and is not rebutted, it helps … Feingold is making his case coherently, he is an impressive politician.” Brit Hume is about to leap over the table and suck out Kristol’s eyes.<\/p>

Then Juan brings the energy down by bringing up Clinton<\/strong> and Hume catches his breath, says “this is good politics.” Points out that the program itself is very popular. Juan, God bless him, says, “You’re confusing the popularity of this program with its legality.” Back to Bill Kristol for a final word: “Republicans cannot go to 2006 mid-terms saying, ‘re-elect a Republican Congress to protect the President from impeachment.’ They need to make a substantive case for the President’s policy.” The program’s popularity isn’t the point, “You don’t get into politics only to play at issues where you have public opinion on your side.”<\/p>

Brit goes out on a limb: “ALL of the President’s problems have to do with Iraq.” Kristol drops another bomb: “Reading Donald Rumsfeld’s<\/strong> op-ed<\/a> in the Washington Post makes me even more amazed that President Bush has not replaced him… He has for three years tried to move to post-war Iraq, without winning the war in Iraq…We can win the war, I just wish we had a Secretary of Defense interested in winning it.” Ow. Brit Hume cites Ralph Peters<\/strong> saying he didn’t see civil war. Well, if one journalist in a country the size of California can’t find civil war, it must not exist<\/i>.<\/p>

Power Player of the Week: Mark McClellan<\/strong>, the less whipped-puppy-like McClellan brother. He does not take the press corps’ “savaging” of his brother personally. Admits that he “went to the occasional” Star Trek convention. Wow.<\/p>

This Week<\/u>
Sens. Hagel and Reed (video)<\/a>; Joey Cheek (video)<\/a><\/p>

George Stephanopoulos<\/strong> leads with sobering Iraq stats. Was it worth fighting? Chuck Hagel<\/strong> zen: “We are where we are.” A “political settlement” is the key to the future. Sen. Jack Reed<\/strong> says we need to not just “encourage” but to “insist” that the Iraqis get it together. I know those two words mean different things but am confused about how well the distinction will translate.<\/p>

Hagel: “We need to stop this talk about ‘we’re not going to leave until we’ve achieved victory.’ What does victory mean? Saddam’s gone, they have an elected government. We’ll never be out of there.”<\/p>

Rumsfeld, on the other hand, is in something of a quagmire: “the Secretary has a difficult assignment to assign some credibility to the current policy… we have a responsibility to think about consequences… not just the high cost of lives, but in our national credibility… i think we need to talk to the Iranians… this is a time for some wide view and intense thinking.”<\/p>

On civil war in Iraq: “Our own generals have told me that. So that’s a fact.”<\/p>

Jack Reed: “If we’re in a civil war, we need to protect our forces… it might become just like Lebanon, we won’t be the ones to decide if we stay or go…. [Rumsfeld] should have thought about [postwar Germany] before we sent too few troops.”<\/p>

And now, the most random panel of authors with books about Iraq ever assembled. You thought not possible, but really, what do Michael Gordon, Christopher Hitchens, Jackie Spinner<\/strong> have in common? Begins with Hitch (whom he calls “Chris”), asks about second thoughts. And I, for one, think that this will be the moment that Hitch chooses to say, “You know what? Total **** up. Nevermind.”<\/p>

Turns out he does not say that.<\/p>

Michael Gordon says that the military<\/i> does have second thoughts. I would like to see Gordon interview Hitch directly. “People can debate if it was a just war or not, but the costs were disproportionately high for the United States and Iraqis.”<\/p>

Hitch then says, “Do you mind if I make a point for Mr. Gordon?” Uh, sure… Then he spins out a theory that the the insurrection after the fall of Baghdad is actually the same thing that would have happened under Saddam. So the reason we invaded was…?<\/p>

Spinner says Iraqis used to want running water and electricity. Now, “they just want the violence to stop.”<\/p>

George to Hitch: “You seem not to agree.”<\/p>

Pause to note how awesome Hitch looks: the light khaki jacket and week’s worth of beard could not make him look more like a debauched colonialist unless he was. Oh, wait…<\/p>

Hitch just justified the war as a training exercise. “Don’t tell me we’re not going to need those kinds of fighting skills in the future.”<\/p>

And the panel is AN alumni reunion: George Will, Sam Donaldson<\/strong> and Cokie Roberts<\/strong>. Lead in with opinion poll breakdown (bad for President). Will just says it: “We need to define victory down.” On to Republicans and budget doubletalk and uselessness of line-item veto. Will says that a line-item veto would just make Congress think that all budgetary restraint lies with the President.<\/p>

Censure discussion leads with Pelosi<\/strong> saying she doesn’t understand why anyone would censure at this point. “Couldn’t even get Nancy Pelosi,” says George S. Donaldson stumbles through Feingold’s name to get to weirdest metaphor of the say: “Russ Feingold threw the long ball… but it might connect, as the Washington Redskins learned in the mid-70s.” Will says that “Feingold’s point was to please the blogosphere.”<\/p>

Speaking of pleasing the blogosphere, there is apparently a new feature at ABCN<\/span>ews.com: “The Green Room.” Please supply your own bad coffee.<\/p>

Showbiz segment: Joey Cheek<\/strong> and Darfur awareness, the only good thing to come out of the Olympics besides Bode Miller’s<\/strong> humiliation.<\/p>

Meet the Press<\/u>
Netcast<\/a>; podcast<\/a><\/p>

Ah, it’s Gen. Casey again, making his square-jawed pitch for progress in Iraq. Now taking bets on how long it is before Tim Russert<\/strong> asks about Time.com’s “Operation Swarmer failed to live up to hype” piece…. Too late, he asked! Casey simply denies accuracy of Time article and then Tim does the thing that makes me grind my teeth when people talk about his “tough” interviewing style: HE DOES NOT FOLLOW<\/span> UP! Time runs a piece that devastates both the rationale and supposed outcome of the “largest air assault in Iraq since 2003,” the general denies it and then: NEXT QUESTION, <\/span>which is simply, “Will there be any more major combat operations in Iraq?” Guess he didn’t have any more long quotes on title cards to offer. Sheesh.<\/p>

Wait, wait, perhaps that was a clever set up. Casey’s response about major operations is that “it depends on the enemy and where they’ve massed to meet us.” Which is not a “no.” AND YET <\/span>— roll tape — doesn’t that phrase “major combat operation” sound familiar? Then Casey just denies that Swarmer was a major combat operation.<\/p>

I see where Tim is going with all this but Jesus is this really the point?<\/p>

On to government building and the sense that it’s not going so well: “People need to not think so much about what they’ve seen on television,” says Casey. Basically they should think about what Casey says. There is no civil war, troops are fine, the problem is getting a government set up, but, really, it’s all going better than you’d think! Unless you thought only about what I tell you to think about, in which case, you’d know how well things are going. Also, timetables aid the terrorists, but “benchmarks” don’t!<\/p>

Okay, I take it all back about Tim for this priceless, when-did-you-stop-beating-your-wife question: “Did you imagine the insurgency would be as bloody and robust as it is?” Casey sputters. BRAIN FREEZE. ADMIT PROBLEMS<\/span>? NOT<\/span> IN TALKING POINTS<\/span>! **** <\/span>! Then, finally, “I did not think it would be as robust as it has been.” I thought it would be soft annd warm and fuschia-colored.<\/p>

“Last week, I went out and drove around Baghdad for three hours just to get my own sense of what the people are feeling.” It is a good sign that the head of the allied forces in Iraq has three hours to kill<\/i>? And then there’s what he saw: “There’s a lot of bustle, Tim…. and the traffic cops are wearing white shirts and ties, not armored vests.” **** , OUR TROOPS <\/span>don’t have body armor.<\/p>

Tim: “Can you continue to conduct a war without the consent of the American people?” Uhm, apparently.<\/p>

Now we turn to John Murtha<\/strong>, who declares, “This is George Bush’s war.” They have “mishandled and mischaracterized it,” and jokes “they said they were going to hand over a majority of the country to Iraqi control. Well, I flew over desert for hours and hours and that must be the part that Iraqis control because they don’t control the Sunni triangle.”<\/p>

Murtha says his vote for the war “was a mistake, a bad mistake.” Says we can go back but we have no business being there now. “We’ve lost the hearts and minds of the people… we have to give them the incentive to take over their own country.” Just noting: If 80 percent of the people don’t want us there anyway, isn’t that a huge incentive? He believes Rummy should resign and if you could fire a vice president, well… He’s actually pretty good, asking for specific metrics of progress: employment, battalions, electricity. And boy, is he mad: “They’re using American helicopters! You think they fool the Americans when they say that? They say 75 percent of the control will be under control of Iraqis, well, 75 percent of the country is desert!” Also my favorite: “Is it going to be a civil war? IT IS A CIVIL WAR<\/span>!”<\/p>

Oh and I kinda zoned out and then: A disembodied voice interrupted Tim and Murtha to say, “Last week, on the West Wing,” followed by garbled fake Mamet prose under the jabbering of Tim\/Murtha. Wait, it’s still happening! Technical snafu or AWESOME SUBLIMINAL MARKETING<\/span>? I so want to watch the “The West Wing” now. Also: I cannot wait for the moment when all the nets start broadcasting their entertainment programing across their Sunday-show broadcasts. “FNS” would be so much more endurable with “King of the Hill” and “Simpsons” dialogue in the background. And “This Week” would be so much less soporific with “Desperate Housewives” humping within hearing range.<\/p>

In his final words, Tim continues to pretend that being a sports fan somehow makes you more likable: “How about those Boston College Eagles? On to the Sweet Sixteen” — holds up fist in mild pumping gesture — “Go Eagles.” Ah, we may be **** ing up the Middle East, but we’ll always have the Final Four<\/a>.<\/p> 
Comment on this post http://www.wonkette.com/politics/ana-marie-cox/chatology-defining-victory-down-161620.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/ana-marie-cox/chatology-defining-victory-down-161620.php ana marie cox Mon, 20 Mar 2006 12:55:36 -0500

This week’s Sunday shows were best viewed with 20\/20 hindsight.<\/p>

Top topics<\/u>: Dubai ports deal (dead) and the Southern Republican Leadership Conference straw poll (meaningless). This was leavened with some talk of Iraq and a single, lonely reference to Saturday’s Gridiron show.<\/p>

Quotes to live by<\/u>:
•<\/b> Chris Wallaces curses us out: “Do the Democrats have — pardon the expression — a Newt Gingrich?”
•<\/b> Bill Kristol also has the first Arctic Monkeys seven-inch: “I liked McCain before it was cool for conservatives to like McCain.”
•<\/b> Everyone (except surprise mystery guest Joe Biden) avoids saying they’re running for President, though Huckabee does announce for 2016.
•<\/b> Hospice-bound Art Buchwald stays wry: “I believe in God, but I’m not too certain that the people who are telling me that ‘it’s God’s will’ are the people I want to be listening to.”<\/p>

Full rundown after the jump.<\/p>

Fox News Sunday<\/u>
Hunter, Pence interview<\/a>, Chris Dodd interview<\/a><\/p>

Rep. Duncan Hunter<\/b> and Mike Pence<\/b>. Hunter: President was let down by his advisers, “having all the information, he would have stopped this deal.” Pence “wakes up every day thanking God” that President Bush is defending this country. Just not the ports. Pence blames the “process.” “The Royal family of Dubai knows that though this particular deal was not possible,” we appreciate their new role in our war on terror. Which is apparently to help get Democrats elected. Hunter going on about need for ports to be American-owned, points out that UAE <\/span>has similar prohibitions: “You<\/em> couldn’t open a hamburger stand in Dubai!” So much for Mama Wallace’s Infidel Burger Barn.<\/p>

Much talk about how none of this is Bush’s fault, “let down by a rubber stamp,” in Hunter’s words. Almost as bad as when he was broken up with by a stapler. Mike Pence totally grown in a vat with other white-haired Ken-doll Republicans like Bill Sammon.<\/p>

Now, Chris Dodd<\/b> quizzed about level of “demagoguery” and anti-Arab bashing in port deal criticism. “Not everyone choose words I would use;” he’d go with “towel head.” Jake Weisberg’s<\/b> “Three Stooges” Slate piece being thrown at Dodd: “Doesn’t he have a point?” Dodd: “For what you get these days, that’s mild.” Ouch. Wallace: “Do the Democrats have — pardon the expression — a Newt Gingrich<\/b>?” Well, he is a four-letter word.<\/p>

Panel time! Brit Hume’s<\/b> pocket square is on a different panel than he is. Or is it a flag for one of those countries I can’t pronounce? And now we talk 2008 and Southern Republican Leadership Conference straw poll: Hume says political junkies may care but, “You have to be an actual junkie to think any important has happened here.” Snap! OMG WHAT<\/span> IS MARA LIASSON<\/span><\/b> WEARING!?!?!? HOT PINK BLINDING<\/span> ME MY EYES<\/span> MY EYES<\/span>!!!!!! Something about McCain<\/b> being “tactically agile,” hubba hubba. Wallace asks Hume if that answer makes Mara a junkie. Says Hume: “We need some heroin for that one.” Well, **** : it’s never available when I’m<\/i> in the Fox green room.<\/p>

Bill Kristol<\/b> is hipper than you: “I liked McCain before it was cool for conservatives to like McCain.” And now that Bush is in the crapper I can say that in public again. Hume critiques Condi<\/b>-cize: “Who knows what’s that’s about,” if she’s really running for president, “I’m not sure if being photographed wearing sweats in a gym is the way to get there.” Consensus is that Rudy<\/b> not really much of factor right now and probably doesn’t appeal to GOP <\/span>base. Kristol has interesting McCain spin, saying that he’s the “most resolute and eloquent defender of the President’s public policy,” and the President is pretty eloquent about McCain’s black baby.<\/p>

And you didn’t think we’d get out of this without another ten minutes on the Dubai Ports deal did you? “It was so bad it was almost hilarious,” Hume observes. Kristol huffs about demagoguery but says “the President gave up too early,” and that they made a mistake in branding port critics “xenophobes,” when really the President could have “made a case.” Juan Williams<\/b> says that critics weren’t demagogues, just reacting to public concern — Kristol actually quotes definition of demagoguery. A Jew educated by Jesuits is an awesome force to be reckoned with. Juan whines: “Don’t think everyone’s a dummy up here!” Prove us wrong, Juan, prove us wrong.<\/p>

Power player of the week: Placido Domingo<\/b>.<\/p>

This Week<\/u>
Podcast<\/a>, Feingold (video)<\/a>, Art Buchwald (video)<\/a><\/p>

Russ Feingold<\/b> wants to censure W. for illegal wiretapping. Says Stephanopoulos<\/b>: “Why now?” Feingold says something other than “I’m running for president,” which means he’s lying. Love him, however, for running down the clown car-like list of justifications that keep pouring out of the White House. How do they get all those excuses in there? And a baseball metaphor goes Fitzgeraldianly awry: “This is right in the strike zone [of Constitutional high crimes and misdemeanors]… though of course, the Founding Fathers didn’t have strike zones.” Helpfully reminds us that “we did not enact marshal law after September 11.” Love him some more for saying of Clinton’s<\/b> “high crimes” versus those of Bush: “This conduct here is so much more serious than anything Bill Clinton ever did, it can’t even be compared.” Swoon. He’s got my doomed primary vote!<\/p>

Btw, Russ says he’s too “busy dealing with the problems this administration is causing in mishandling the war on terror” to decide if he’s running for president.<\/p>

BREAKING NEWS<\/span>: BILL FRIST<\/span><\/b> NOT GOING<\/span> TO SUPPORT CENSURE MOTION<\/span>! Frist slams Feingold for only mentioning “protecting the American people” once, which is a bigger lie than Feingold not running for president. All but calls his “good friend Russ” a terrorist collaborator and says he hopes the leaders of Iran weren’t listening. Ironically, his later comments about the Dubai port deal — lack of oversight, outdated law, lack of information — all directly apply to Feingold’s concerns about wiretapping. George presses on South Dakota abortion ban, would Frist vote for it? Weaves, dodges, is pro-life but “I’m not going to put myself in that situation,” which defeats whole point of question. Blah blah guest worker program blah.<\/p>

Panel: George Will<\/b>, Donna Brazile<\/b> and “power couple” pundits Claire Shipman and Jay Carney<\/b>, who are so low key about the whole thing it doesn’t even work as a gimmick. Perhaps ABC <\/span>is just cutting back on the town car budget. Brazile says that Feingold’s censure bill will give Dems “another bite at the apple” re: position on national security but Will points out that “not one Democrat, including Feingold, wants to stop the program” and encourages Frist to let it come to a vote so that Dems are forced to vote against it embarrassing themselves, etc. Carney is of the opinion that, you know, perhaps the President breaking the law<\/i> is something the Democrats could in fact get some mileage out of. Ya think?Shipman starts to disagree — “I’m confused as to how this is going to help them [Democrats]” — and there is a tantalizing moment of possible junior varsity Carville-Matalin<\/b> fake fireworks but it passes.<\/p>

I think I have the same sweater as Claire.<\/p>

Shipman: “Who knows what they’ll [the admin] will do.” Carney: “I don’t think Karl Rove will shake things up.” I feel bad for these people. They are all trapped in a force field of pundit vacuity. Indeed, Will predicts that the President stop giving “happy speeches.” And we have now come to the portion of today’s program where everyone sheepishly admits that early straw polls don’t matter but then go on to talk about them for ten more minutes. Carney calls bull **** on McCain’s bear hug of Bush: “Those of us who remember the depth of the loathing” between the two in 2000 and after find such chumminess unconvincing; he gets all Nell Carter<\/b> on us: “give me a break.” Politics of abortion. The end.<\/p>

Traditional show biz segment is actually with Art Buchwald<\/b>, from a Washington hospice, epitomizing dignity and dark humor: “I believe in God, but I’m not too certain that the people who are telling me that ‘it’s God’s will’ are the people I want to be listening to.”<\/p>

Meet the Press<\/u>
Transcript<\/a>, Video<\/a>, Podcast<\/a><\/p>

How predictable has this Sunday’s chat show line up been? Biden<\/b> is on MTP.<\/span> Aaaannyyyyway… George Allen<\/b> is the other guest and he looks doughy and pink, like he’s been scrubbed really hard. This would include rubbing out any original thoughts: Apparently it is important for Iraq to form a unified government. Tim<\/b> asks Biden if voting for the war was a mistake: “The mistake I made that I never thought they’d be this incompetent in pursuit of the war.” It’s not me, it’s you. Points out that the important audience for Bush’s messages of optimism about Iraq isn’t Americans, it’s Iraqis: “He needs to be on a plane.”<\/p>

Good news, George Allen does not think the “the terrorists are winning the hearts and minds of the people of Iraq.” Yes, they’re blowing up their hearts and minds. Cheaper than having to win them. Tim asks the tough questions: Is leaving chaos behind in Iraq a “foreign policy disaster”? You will be surprised to learn that Biden believes it would be. Whole thing would be more entertaining if we were playing Joe Biden self-reference bingo: “Remember on your show, I called for more troops?”<\/p>

From Iraq to Iran. What did Cheney<\/b> mean by “meaningful consequences” for Iran developing nuclear weapons? Who the **** knows but it’s bad. George Allen is a genius: “we don’t want a nuclear arms race in the Middle East.” Biden has a senior moment confusing impact of sanctions on “Iraq… Iran.” Bush administration has trouble telling them apart as well.<\/p>

Allen defends his not-spectacular showing in SRLC <\/span>straw poll: “It’s kinda like a pick-up game. Intrasquad scrimmages matter… this was just a pick up game.” Biden pats him on the shoulder and says it’ll be okay. Tim asks Biden why he hasn’t been down to New Orleans: “It didn’t feel right.” Joe Biden: too noble to grandstand. I have just lost my breakfast.<\/p>

Allen backed into a corner on South Dakota abortion law: Repeatedly says he wants states to be able to decide abortion law. But REFUSES <\/span>to say if Roe should be overturned: “People should have the right to make these distinctions, and to the extent Roe prevents that, it would be overturned.” Once people start running for president, they lose the ability to only talk out of one side of their mouth. Also: He’s not a Bush Republican, he’s a “common sense Jeffersonian Republican.” Biden says he’ll run for President unless “it turns out that I can’t get the support or I can’t get the money,” or if he can’t write his own speeches.<\/p>

Michael Gordan<\/b> and Gen. Bernard Trainor<\/b> on to talk about Cobra II<\/em>, a new book about the Iraq war and what went wrong. This is one of those things that might actually turn out to be relevant and insightful, and what do you know? First example of USA <\/span> **** ups, is that NIC, <\/span>the name of the new Iraq army, turns out to sound like “ **** ” in Arabic. Little-known fact: “greet as liberators” also sounds like “blow up with improvised devices.” Other mistakes are less hilarious. Not enough troops (despite numerous studies and lots of advice to bring in more), bad intelligence in initial first strike at Saddam, homogenous thinking inside the military, inability to foresee power of insurgency. Okay, that last one is kinda funny. Trainor talks like a football dad: “Donald Rumsfeld<\/b> is a tough hombre to deal with… he just wears you down.” Asked how it ends, Trainor says “it doesn’t necessarily have to end in civil war.” Whee.<\/p>

Tim’s closing sports pander: “Go Boston College Eagles.”<\/p>

Face the Nation<\/u>
Transcript (.pdf)<\/a>, Obama (video)<\/a><\/p>

Barack Obama<\/b> praised as “absolute star” of Saturday’s Gridiron show, where apparently people made many jokes about Cheney having shot someone in the face. (Wait: The Vice President shot someone in the face?!?<\/i>) Genial chatter as Bob Schieffer<\/b> gives Barack a big sloppy kiss for being such a hilarious and handsome guy…. then, suddenly: “So what are<\/i> we going to do in Iraq?” Ah. Barack: “We can’t try to hold the country together by sheer force.” Dodges the “do you agree with Murtha<\/b>?” question, though sets up a kind of ultimatum: “if they don’t form a government, our role will be necessarily<\/i> limited.”<\/p>

He has a succinct answer for why the Democrats are having a hard time getting their message across: “It’s always difficult when you don’t control any branch of government.” On health care and port security, “if we are willing to repeat ourselves — sometimes we’re worse than Republicans at keeping our message simple — we can succeed.” Thinks Democrats have made a mistake in avoiding even discussing abortion, and that they should “engage in debate about moral values” in Red States. Not just abortion, but “how we treat our poor and the Sermon on the Mount.”<\/p>

On Hillary<\/b>: “Half my colleagues are running for president. I’m not going to take the bait on that one.” There should be a check on executive power, and he’s not going to let lobbying reform “slide off the table.”<\/p>

Former fatty Mike Huckabee<\/b> drops by fresh from SRLC, <\/span>“Do you want to announce right now that you’re running for president?” He would rather announce for 2016, he says, which suggests he needs a new campaign adviser. Schieffer asks about the fat thing there’s some communications foul up during which Huckabee says he lost 110 pounds and Schieffer says 120. All this talk of anti-obesity programs and Huckabee’s own personal journal really makes him sound more like an Oprah<\/b> guest than politician. (which means he’s already running for president).<\/p>

From junk food to junk politics: So what about Iraq? He thinks the information he’s getting from people “with their boots on the ground” is better than “some people who have yet to go” (journalists? Rumsfeld?). He really believes they’re making progress — “When I pulled the soldiers from Arkansas aside” and asked if they got what they needed and if they believed that what they were doing was worthwhile, the answers were “yes.” Can’t argue with that, though one would hope soldiers believed in what they were doing or else I’m not sure if they’d be doing it very well. Besides, what the soldiers think isn’t really the issue. That’s why they’re soldiers<\/i>.<\/p>

He is wearing an unfortunate tie. Egyptianish? Schieffer’s is Cheney pink.<\/p>

He loves Bush. Bush believes in what he’s doing, much like the soldiers in Iraq, though I am not sure Bush is getting what he needs.<\/p>

Schieffer’s final word: The President needs to tell the American people why we’re in Iraq, but even more important than that, he needs to explain it to Iraqis.<\/p> 
Comment on this post http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-fitzgeraldianly-awry-160151.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-fitzgeraldianly-awry-160151.php chatology Mon, 13 Mar 2006 12:45:25 -0500

In this edition of Chatology, Department of Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff pulls a half-Ginsburg, spinning through both Meet the Press and This Week. On various issues, Chertoff blames Michael Brown, Mary Matalin blames the media, Joe Lieberman blames Chertoff, Evan Bayh blames the Democrats, and David Gregory blames himself. Random wisdom from Ari Fleischer: “You can be right and still be bonkers.” Speaking of which: Cheney is “almost like the wizard dealing with the muggles” — Howard Fineman.<\/p>

Full rundown and highlights after the jump.<\/p>

[Ed. note: Don’t miss Ana Marie Cox’s appearance at the National Press Club, this Wednesday, February 22, at 6:30 PM.<\/span> For more details, as well as information about how to obtain tickets to this free event, click here<\/a>.]<\/p>

Hot topics<\/u>:
•<\/b> Were you aware that the vice president shot a man in the face? Funny because it’s true!
•<\/b> Sale of American ports<\/a> to Dubai Ports World, a company headquartered in the terrorist-friendly (or at least agnostic) United Arab Emirates.
•<\/b> Playing the Katrina blame game.
•<\/b> Hamas\/FISA in scary world-shaking tie for last place.
(Either issue would have been a more grown up topic for discussion than the top three actual winners.)<\/p>

One hit wonders<\/u>:
•<\/b> Shaquille O’N<\/span>eal vows to be sheriff “somewhere, someplace” post-NBA career. (“This Week”)
•<\/b> Bob Shieffer hearts Rummy: “Frankly, I like the guy.” (“Face the Nation”)<\/p>

Quotes to live by<\/u>:
•<\/b> Matalin defends Cheney: “He was not following the ‘convention rules’ but he wasn’t doing anything invalid.”
•<\/b> Former Senator Alan Simpson goes Dan Rather on us: “Let me tell you, those who don’t like him have put a big red tail on his bum, and cloven hooves, and horns on his head. And let me tell you,
if anybody thinks ‘if this had happened to anybody else in America,’ it would have been like a sparrow belch in a typhoon.”
•<\/b> Gregory apologizes: “I’m the only one here representing the White House press corps, I think one thing we may have missed this week is empathy for the vice president.” Just what we need: Anderson Cooper, White House correspondent.
—————
Meet the Press
Transcript<\/a>, webcast<\/a>, podcast<\/a><\/p>

First up: Michael Chertoff. He looks less John Waters, but he is wearing a very gay pale green tie. Still looks a little like Skeletor<\/a>. Gay Skeletor. Is telling Russert in response to Congressional “Failure of Initiative” Report that he’s going to work “24-7 to make this department as great as it can be.” Will also give 110 percent? What about thinking outside the box? We worry when the person in charge of defending us against terrorism starts sounding like Ricky Gervais.<\/p>

Touts the “success” story of the Coast Guard’s evacuations. I suppose if you don’t consider the need for emergency evacuations themselves as a problem… Katrina: The Mother Of All Mistakertunities.<\/p>

Ah, the Katrina finger pointing game. Like spin the bottle but what’s being whirled around is the deaths of hundreds of people. Chertoff says that before the hurricane, he asked, “Is there anything you need from us?” He reports that “I was told we’ve got everything we needed.” Wow — that buck passed faster than a White Castle Value Meal.<\/p>

“We have to acknowledge that this hurricane is simply overwhelming… you’ll never have a catastrophe that will not have its …share of suffering and not have its pain… we aspire to do a lot better but we have to be realistic about the nature of the challenge.” Chertoff now blames God. Or, wait, in his testimony he said, “Is this not just an inherent overwhelming challenge, but is Mike Brown not up to this?” Never mind God — you’re in the clear.<\/p>

On Brownie doing a “heck of a job”: “Brown had been up for practically every night for the past few days… we were in the middle of the event and we were trying to keep everyone’s spirits up… as a human matter, you want to reach out and pat them on the back. You want to buck them up.” Hey, I think the people outside the convention center also could have used — as a human matter — a pat on the back. That and some water<\/i>.<\/p>

Further defending the lack of a decision to boot Brown’s ass back to the stables: “That’s not the time for doing finger-pointing or doing brutal assessments of people’s performance.” Actually, I’d say that if people are are not managing well during the disaster, that would be a good time to fire them. Before, you know, it gets worse. That’s not “finger pointing;” it’s managing.<\/p>

Tim asks about fraud: “$150 dollars for products at Condoms to Go. How does that happen?” Yeah, that’s been bugging me — how do you spend hundreds of dollars ON CONDOMS<\/span>? Gold plated French ticklers? Crystal encrusted cock rings?<\/p>

Speaking of cock-ups: Tim asks about the $850 million in mobile homes in Arkansas that can’t be used. “Oh, they will be used!” says Chertoff. “It’s just a question of where they go.” It’s just that, well, some places are flooded and other places don’t want a thousand trailers installed in their town. So it’s unclear where they’ll go or get used. Maybe for those displaced by the Western wildfires, he says. In which case we’ll send them to Delaware.<\/p>

Chertoff’s objection to disassembling DHS<\/span>: “Catastrophes don’t come labeled. Sometimes you know it’s a natural disaster, sometimes you know it’s a terrorist act, sometimes you don’t know!” Here’s a hint: Terrorists unlikely to use hurricanes. God unlikely to use commercial airplanes.<\/p>

Query about port purchases by a company from Dubai, aka The United Arab Emirates — a country with multiple connections to the 9\/11 attack — receives this response: “We require a very careful review.” Also we need to maintain a “robust trading environment.” Translation: US companies won’t guard our ports for what the government pays.<\/p>

“What comfort can we take in knowing that the DHS <\/span>is protecting us?” asks Tim. Not really so much. “It’s an immature department.” Well, it certainly looks childish now.<\/p>

Panel time with Maureeen Dowd, Paul Gigot, David Gregory, Mary Matalin.<\/p>

First question to Matalin. Cheney says it’s his fault, but originally didn’t Armstrong say Whittington “did not follow protocol”?<\/p>

OMG WHAT<\/span> IS THAT<\/span> ON MATALIN’S CHEST<\/span>!! A triffid? Some kind of hideous weapon? Duck, David Gregory, duck! Also her hair seems to be levitating. And she’s wearing one of those Star Trek jackets that seem to be standard issue for the women on the chat shows these days.<\/p>

Anyway: She says that the veep’s immediate reaction was one of “profuse apologies.” Apparently, wire stories are less accurate than local stories which are reported by people who “understand the culture of Texas.” Where people apparently get shot in the face all the time. Insert don’t mess with joke here.<\/p>

Why the delay to talk to the sheriff? Why wait 14 hours? “It took the Washington Post an entire week to speak to the culture of rural enforcement in hunting area of South Texas… there’s a presumption of accident!” I would not want to get shot in rural Texas.<\/p>

The alcohol question. Armstrong said that there was no drinking during the hunt. But the veep had a beer! “Should we take him at his word that it was a beer?” Matalin asks “Does anyone here believe that the Secret Service would let the vice president drink and then go out and hunt?” Wait, it’s the SECRET SERVICE’S <\/span>responsibility to make sure you don’t drink and handle fire arms? No wonder so many other people in South Texas get shot in the face.<\/p>

Pressed on whether Cheney should have reported the incident earlier, Matalin resorts to massive, clawlike air quotes: “The problem with these ‘rules’ is that people think they’re inviolate…. He was not following the ‘convention rules’ but he wasn’t doing anything invalid.” Sort of like how leaking the name of an undercover CIA <\/span>agent is not following “conventional rules.” Amazing how quickly the administration has discarded the “infallible neocon” image for the “snowboarding Mountain Dew pitchman” one.<\/p>

I think David Gregory must be tied down in his chair to not jump in during this. He’s like a caged tiger by now. A caged monkey.<\/p>

Oh there’s Gregory. He’s smiling a tight, rictus smile, but not without some delight.<\/p>

Matalin prattles on about how there was a “human response before a political response.” I bet that dial tested well.<\/p>

Now to Gregory. Clip of the great Scotty-David bout, recitiation of the gaggle “jerk” exchange. They’ve found the most unflattering, grim photo of Gregory to run with it. But listen, he’s been taking lessons from Cheney: He apologies, he regrets doing it. Why? “As my wife has reminded me, you should never speak that way… and it created a diversion.” The non-apology apology. “I’m sorry if what I did made you mad.”<\/p>

And the apology gets wobblier: “They can go after us for the way we try to get answers, but I don’t apologize for pushing hard for answers.” But, wait, isn’t that how you try to get answers? Proceeds to wrap self in flag, sort of. “We are the proxy of the American people!” Sadly, I think more Americans identify with Scott McClellan. Except, you know, Scott doesn’t sway anywhere near so dreamily when he listens to Hillary Duff<\/a>.<\/p>

Tim reads from Paul Gigot’s painfully obvious “satire” of the press corp’s agenda. He is disappointed in them. “I think scandal standards are declining in Washington if this becomes another big huge scandal that’s supposed to be a metaphor for government.” Yeah, it’s a real step down from, oh, let’s say Whitewater.<\/p>

To MoDo with the TIME <\/span>poll saying that Americans are pretty divided on the handling of the shooting, they think he’s secretive, and that it was an accident. Basically your typically scattershot CW.<\/span> As it were. MoDo compares him to “The Shadow.” What, not “V for Vendetta”? (Geeking out, I must point out that the Shadow was a force of good.) She does imply that he destroys democratic institutions. Fashion note: She’s wearing a gold brocade Star Trek uniform.<\/p>

Matalin mocks the idea that anyone in the Washington press corps would adhere to “the process” of informing the press in general about major executive branch events like the veep shooting someone in the face. “I suppose if I called David here” and she wanted tell him and only him, “neither he nor any of his colleagues would say, ‘No, let’s go through the procress, let’s call the pool.’” I think the point she WANTS <\/span>to make is that the WH reporters are jealous<\/i> of the Corpus Christie Shopper or whatever but I’m not sure that anyone (even Gregory) thinks that he should been called instead of the Corpus Christie Shopper. Okay, maybe Gregory thinks that but he would never say it.<\/p>

I thought Gregory was being sedate. I think now he’s sedated. Asks if the veep office handled it so well, then why the big interview with Brit? Matalin: “Because you went on a jihad against us.” Gregory: “I don’t know if that’s the best word to use.” Snap! Gregory all but rolls his eyes and shoots his cuffs. Matalin: “Oh were you saving up for that line?” (Complete non sequitour.)<\/p>

MoDo says something about Geneva conventions, Iraq, FISA.<\/span> Matalin pats her hair with mock casualness and boredom like the leader of a girl gang about to fillet some chick. Gigot says that “FISA is a little different than a shooting incident.” True: Eventually they told the press about the shooting incident.<\/p>

Roll clip of Hillary talking about secretiveness of administration. Matalin says Hillary should have come out and talked about how we should pass our thoughts and prayers to Mr. Whittington and then maybe disagreed about policy. Then “Maureen Dowd, the diva of the smart set, would be swooning.” Cut to MoDo. Not swooning.<\/p>

Gregory wants to put his fingers in the human feeling pit: “I’m the only one here representing the White House press corps, I think one thing we may have missed this week is empathy for the vice president.” Where is the angry monkey man I have come to love? EMPATHY FOR THE VICE PRESIDENT<\/span>? Hello, he shot someone and then didn’t tell anyone. Imagine Woodward and Bernstein: “You know, Nixon has been having a really rough time…”<\/p>

Paul Gigot bemoans how every political debate in Washington “immediately goes to DefCon 1.” We need to acknowledge the “human factor.” BUT THE VICE PRESIDENT ISN’T HUMAN.<\/span><\/p>

Matalin insists that they didn’t have a complete set of facts, and that “an evolving set of facts” is worse than “no facts.” How comforting. Okay, the shooting incident may not be a metaphor for Iraq, but that effort to spin it sure as hell is.<\/p>

Tim brings up Al Gore’s Saudi Arabia comments (a story “pushed by the conservative blogs”), Gigot says that the idea that we’re “rounding up Arabs” is crazy. One free trip to Gitmo for Paul, eh?<\/p>

MoDo’s final thoughts: Mary Matalin “had a very difficult job in making the vice president appear human.” It would help if he removed the robotic arm.
—————
This Week
Podcast<\/a><\/p>

Opener pairs Cheney’s admission that shooting his pal was “one of the worst days of my life” and Michael Chertoff’s plea that overseeing Katrina was “one of the most difficult and traumatic experiences of my life.” I think I speak for both those who have been shot in the face and Katrina vitims when I say, these people need to suffer more.<\/p>

George calls Cheney shooting “the watercooler story of the week,” a nice way to avoid admitting that an Arab company buying U.S. <\/span>ports might matter more but isn’t as interesting.<\/p>

Chertoff first up. Says that Katrina also created “significant successes,” though I have yet to hear him cite anyone else but the Coast Guard. George asks how come it took so long to learn the levees had broken. Chertoff says that his staff wanted to verify it BUT <\/span>that now, he’s made it known he “would rather get half-verified information earlier, with the warning that it’s not verified, rather than waiting for people to feel like they have to prove it.” He really should speak to someone in the vice president’s office about that.<\/p>

Yet he’s not sure if knowing that the levees had broken would have made anything any better.<\/p>

By the way, the Coast Guard did a great job.<\/p>

Clip of Mike Brown giving Chertoff a C-minus and mocks him for being a “judge by training.” Chertoff, “well, I fired him, clearly, he’s not going to be happy with me.” Of Brown’s contention that Chertoff “made him stay in Baton Rogue,” Chertoff says, well, “when I talked to him earlier, he was flying around, I think he was about to go on Larry King or Rita Cosby,” which is apparently something you don’t do until later.<\/p>

Repeats talking point that he asked if FEMA <\/span>needed anything AND THEY SAID THEY DID.<\/span> Also says that next hurricane season is only 100 days away. Funny you mention that, says George…<\/p>

Chertoff reels off some improvements, mainly about communications and resources. George: “Do you regret not doing that before Katrina?” Chertoff: “Well, I wasn’t there for the budget before Katrina…” Whoops! Where did that buck go now?<\/p>

WSJ <\/span>says five people have rejected “overtures” to take the FEMA <\/span>job. Chertoff denies that “overtures” have been made but they are “talking to a lot of people.” Clearly the man does not put out on the first date.<\/p>

Dubai port sale question. “Actual details of discussion are classified.” But, rest assured, they’re reviewing it. In this context one is not reassured.<\/p>

Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-ish) and Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA)<\/p>

Should Chertoff resign? “Secretary Chertoff failed to do his job.” Not an answer? The Secretary did not take advantage of early declaration of disaster, he didn’t move in transportation… and it’s a duet: Davis says that Chertoff is “doing a pretty good job on the terrorist side,” but “response is different.”<\/p>

Did the Congressional Republicans “wall off the White House” from criticism? Davis said that litigation over executive privilege would have delayed report. Have you heard from the White House? “I haven’t gotten a congratulatory call, if that’s what you mean.” What, no human-feeling pat on the back?<\/p>

Lieberman wants to destroy FEMA <\/span>in order to save it. Keep it inside DHS, <\/span>but break it down and rebuild it.<\/p>

Port sale issue. Lieberman admits his first thought is, “Why did we let that happen?” He says he wants to know more about failure to invest in port security rather than this sale, but the sale of a port does strikes me as a security issue of sorts.<\/p>

Panel! Cokie, George Will and Katrina vanden Huevel.<\/p>

Katrina with some good passive aggressive pinko spin: she’s glad the press found its backbone but “let’s not ask tough questions about an accidental incident, let’s ask about Cheney cherry picking intelligence to mislead us into war, using intelligence to retaliate against critics of this war…”<\/p>

Will thinks this is “a press story about a press story about press story”… inside a wheel inside a plan inside burrito. Cokie says that the press is “in danger of looking out of touch.” If she thinks that they’re only in danger of it, she might be the one out of touch.<\/p>

Would like to note that despite everyone agreeing that this is a non-story or at least only a symbolic one, discussion continues. Katrina says that the way the story has been handled implies “a danger not to the enemies of the administration but to their friends.” Well, yes: They might get shot in the face.<\/p>

Will makes a reference to Whittington refusing to “let his inner Oprah come out.” Not sure what outlet she’d use. The mind reels.<\/p>

Clip of Rice on the Hill, “taking a pounding.” I am positive that it was her first time. Are we headed toward “foreign policy overload?” I have no idea what this means but George Will is confident that we are
fighting the good fight. “In Iran, the Secretary has it exactly right.”<\/p>

Katrina has negative charisma and the mien of a recently divorced Montessori school teacher. And is as successful in debate with anyone over 13. She thinks we should “engage” Hamas. Cokie running the table on this one, actually though in short she thinks it’s “not a black and white issue.”<\/p>

George wants to know why a new poll shows Republicans to be happier than Democrats. Katrina mangles the title of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” She is the whitest of the white white people there. George Will has more rhythm. He also says that Republicans are happy because they’re pessimists, “and pessimists are usually right, but are delighted when they’re wrong.”<\/p>

Obligatory ABC <\/span>self-whoring segment: Interview with Shaquille O’N<\/span>eal. (NBA All-Star Game is on later. On ABC <\/span>later.) It is not as hard hitting as the Daily Show interview. He fully plans on being “sheriff somewhere, someplace” after he gets done playing. I predict a drop in crime.<\/p>

George wonders of late night comics, post-Cheney accident, “what are they going to do for material next week?” I dunno, George, what about you?
—————
Face the Nation<\/a>
Transcript<\/a> (PDF), Frist interview<\/a><\/p>

Senator Bill First first.<\/p>

Oh **** — Elisabeth Bumiller’s co-hosting again. Guess they want to appeal that crucial younger demographic of under 60 year olds.<\/p>

Bob Schieffer unspools TIME <\/span>scooplet that Bush himself had to lean on Cheney to talk to the press. Frist — he’s a doctor, did you know that? — says that, as a doctor, his concerns are with the patient. He doesn’t know about the TIME <\/span>story, but what “America doesn’t want” is for the Democratic leaders to jump in and make it a partisan issue. He’s AMERICA’<\/span>s doctor.<\/p>

Schieffer wonders why didn’t Cheney come forward… “He wasn’t thinking straight, and clearly, WHO WOULD, <\/span>thinking he’d killed his best friend.” This is an angle I had not considered.<\/p>

OMG WHAT<\/span> IS BUMILLER WEARING<\/span>!?!? Lime green leather flasher jacket. Who dresses these women? Let alone who cuts their hair. Lime green jacket must also belong to the New Jersey mechanic who Bumiller stole her hair from.<\/p>

Bumiller presses for Frist’s opinion on how shooting was handled. He demurs: “I’m running another body. The legislative branch of government was not involved at all.” They could never agree when to pull the trigger anyway. Fun fact: “We leave pellets, bullets in people all the time.”<\/p>

Schieffer gets very jocular in announcing that “we’re moving off this subject… I take it you’d like that.” Onto FISA<\/span>! First says he “believes… KNOWS <\/span>that the program is Constitutional.” Obviously one of those distance diagnoses that Frist is so good at. Is his sense that the FISA <\/span>law will have to be re-written? Can’t say. It may be that “we need more statutory discipline.” Mmmm… statutory discipline.<\/p>

Bumiller whipsaws into medicare program. “What went wrong?” Frist starts explaining that when you take 25 million people and put them in a brand new federal program, you’re going to have some “bumps.” Denies it’ll be a liability in 06. “We’re giving them drugs!” That does seem like a winning issue.<\/p>

Schieffer quizzes re lobbying scandal. (The rapid fire dueling anchors seems to be rattling Frist, btw.) He predicts strong lobbying reform bill on the floor within weeks. “Much further disclosure, much further transparency…” which sounds almost as sexy as statutory discipline. Didn’t Ashcroft get the statutory covered up?<\/p>

Barbara Boxer joins from Rancho Mirage, California, sitting in front of a cozy log fire.<\/p>

She says the Cheney incident “speaks to the vice president’s penchant for secrecy… what really resonates are all the mistakes the administration is making and not admitting,” manages to tie hunting accident to Iraq, Medicare bill, and Katrina. Claims the administration is hurting “millions of people.” Perhaps the cozy log fire has cut off some oxygen supply to the room.<\/p>

Dubai\/port operations. Boxer complains that “it is ridiculous to say you’re taking ‘secret steps’” to make sure that nation with ties to 9\/11 can take over port operations. I think she’s tempted to tie it to the hunting accident but stops herself. “This should be a no brainer… What is all this secrecy, anyway?”<\/p>

Schieffer asks why it would so bad for this company to be running our ports. Boxer says she’s against ANY <\/span>foreign company running our ports, which seems a little extreme and also unclear on what the dangers are. On to Medicare bill: The more that people find out that it was crafted to benefit drugs companies, the more they’ll turn against Republicans. I believe it’s possible that her entire segment has been completely content free, and that the more people find out what a FIASCO <\/span>the Medicare bill is, the more they’ll hate the government.<\/p>

I think Boxer’s sweater and Bumiller’s jacket should fight. I wonder who would win.<\/p>

Democrats don’t just attack something something we want to change things for the better something Abramoff… that fire looks pretty.<\/p>

Schieffer all up in her face about lobbying specifics. Boxer says private sector funded trips should be outlawed, except for “think tanks, foundations.” Which is a loop hole big enough for Abramoff and an entire Indian tribe to walk through.<\/p>

Fun fact: Donald Rumsfeld and Bob Schieffer have been “arguing for thirty years.”
—————
Fox News Sunday<\/u>
Sens. Lindsey Graham and Evan Bayh interview<\/a>, Alan Simpson interview<\/a><\/p>

Chris Wallace asks Evan Bayh if accusing Republicans of having “arrogance of power” is the kind of thing that makes “Democrats look silly.” I would say it makes Democrats look like they’re paying attention, if slightly hysterical. When Democrats wear clown shoes,
it makes them look silly. (Have you SEEN<\/span> Pelosi lately?)<\/p>

HOWEVER<\/span>: Bayh says Chris Wallace has a point. “He has a respectful difference of opinion on the magnitude of this issue” with other Democratic leaders. Graham says that Cheney is one of the best hunters he’s ever hunted with and a “nice man.” Also, let’s move on. Wallace has ONE <\/span>more question. Is this White House too secret? Lindsay Graham says the concern was Whittington’s privacy. And, hey, “mistakes were made.” (No **** , he said that.)<\/p>

To Bayh (adorable curl to the side of his forehead — call it the Presidential curl), something about how if Democrats question the President over the NSA <\/span>wiretap, shouldn’t voters continue to see them as “too weak and soft”? Silly AND <\/span>weak AND <\/span>soft? That’s it: the Democrats are TOTALLY GAY<\/span>! Bayh says that, well, that is a perception<\/i>. This administration has been tough, but that’s not enough, “we need to be tough and smart<\/i>.” (Silly, weak, soft, and SMART<\/span>? Get out the ass-less chaps already!)<\/p>

To Graham: Has the Senate be tough but dumb? Graham says he has a “theme,” which also sounds kind of gay, actually. On NSA <\/span>wire taps he proposes that it be more “flexible and relevant” but with more Congressional review. Congress, the judiciary, and executive branch should be “all together, reading off the same sheet of music.” I know I should stop making the gay jokes but…<\/p>

Bayh argues that it is in the administration’s best interest to have oversight on this, or else “some Americans will think J. Edgar Hoover has come back.” Must. Stop. The. Gay. Jokes.<\/p>

Dubai port issue. “We gotta look into this company,” says Bayh. “There can’t be a choice between profits and the American people.” (Unless it’s health care.) It’s “not smart to outsource our port security.” These seem like sensible statements. Is he running for President? Graham: “It’s unbelievably tone deaf, politically,” to have done this post-9\/11. “Why this company, from this region, now?” Oh, I dunno… greed?<\/p>

Chris Wallace shows poll with Bayh at 3 percent in straw poll. Oh, poor Presidential curl just went limp. “At least give me credit for managing expectations.” Heh. Again with the softness and the
weakness. He probably throws like a girl.<\/p>

Frmr Sen. Alan Simpson<\/p>

Mentions being up at “rosy fingered dawn.” Wallace notes that Cheney is “not a touchy feely guy” (unlike the Democrats, he might as well add), Simpson says that he hasn’t talked to Cheney, but “he probably went home to Lynn and put his head on her shoulder and cried” (like a Democrat might).<\/p>

Should we worry about the toll that this is taking on Dick Cheney, the man<\/i>? Alan isn’t worried. But, says Chris, “Democrats have taken this opportunity to POUND <\/span>on the vice president.” (WHY DOES FOX MAKE<\/span> IT SO HARD<\/span>?) Simpson calls the “20 hour delay” a “laugher,” “worse than the 18 minute gap” on the Nixon tape.<\/p>

Noonan prediction of replacing Cheney? “Well, we have a word for it, but we won’t use it here, out here in the wild west.” Cow poopy is I believe what they say. Simpson also says that people who don’t like Cheney “have put a big red tail on his bum, and cloven hooves, and horns on his head.” (Red. Tail. On. Bum. I don’t know how to continue…) Oh but wait: “And let me tell you, if anybody thinks — if this had happened to anybody else in America, it would have been like a sparrow belch in a typhoon.” Or a black person in a hurricane?<\/p>

A final word on the Washington press corps from Simpson: Following them, “you’ll never know the good. All you get is controversy, crap and confusion.” New Fox slogan?<\/p>

Panel with the usual gang — Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Bill Kristol, Juan Williams<\/p>

Hume says “it was a slow news week in Washington.” Yeah, about 20 hours.<\/p>

Mara Liasson notes that the story did not require a lot of reporting: “It was pretty easy to understand: The vice president shoots somebody.” Hey I’m not appalled by what she’s wearing! Finally some news.<\/p>

Kristol mocks TIME <\/span>for putting it on the cover, making it seem “dark and ominous.” Yeah, how silly. It’s not like the vice president shot somebody… Juan Williams thinks that it’s a “metaphor for a lot of things” then mention something about Jimmy Carter and the “killer
rabbit”…<\/p>

Hume calls the press corps a “pack of jackals.” Clearly disgusted. I think his eyebrows might move. Mara Liasson says that the late night comics did more to keep this alive than the press corps. Hm. Wallace asks Kristol if he ever took the president’s direction when he ran the vice president’s press shop under Bush One. Enigmatic smile. “Sometimes.” Asserts that the current vice president’s political judgement is BETTER <\/span>than the White House staff’s (!), who always “panic” if they get bad press for one day. Evidently it’s now a sign of official competence to be facing four counts of perjury. Mimes panic, throws up hands, asks, “Did the President have a major speech this week? On health care or something?”<\/p>

Asks Hume about criticism that he gave Cheney a soft interview. “The only way he would get this over with is to answer every question within reason.” He realized the veep “was ready to answer and NEEDED <\/span>to answer.” “Except for the silly newsweeklies, this is over.”<\/p>

NEWSWEEKLIES<\/span>: ALSO GAY.<\/span><\/p>

Dubai issue: Juan points out that it’s upset the Republican base more than anyone else. Hume thinks it’s a political issue, not a security issue, but the admin will have to do something to reverse course. Kristol notes the irony that the President is tough on eavesdropping, not so much on sale of ports.<\/p>

Human rights group calls for closing of Gitmo. Juan compares this to general bad international publicity for US policy. Hume is more upset about the leak of (illegal) security bases in Europe led to losing those bases. The ones we knew about, I guess. First the rendition centers, then the NSA <\/span>taps: the press isn’t letting the administration enjoy its unitary power the way god and Bill Frist intended it to!<\/p>

Power Player of the Week: Producing Director of Ford’s Theater. No reason to make a gay joke now.<\/p>

——-<\/p>

Short takes:<\/p>

•<\/b> Reliable Sources
Rare Ari Fleischer sighting! He thinks shooting story could be handled better, sooner and it could have faded faster. He would have gone to the press either Saturday night or Sunday morning. It’s the rare event that makes Fleischer look like consummate communications pro. Of the press corps: “You can be right and still be bonkers.” Was his skin always this bad? Dana Milbank on the real Fuddgate<\/a>: “Perhaps I’ll skip the hat next time… but I was really just celebrating the colors of the Dutch national ice skating team.” Half-news, half-shtick… and counting<\/a>. Also, Arianna Huffington touted a lot of “contagious video” mocking Cheney on HuffPo.<\/p>

•<\/b> Chris Matthews
Howard Fineman thinks Cheney incident is “Cheney’s Katrina” (huh?) and that “he’s almost like the wizard dealing with the muggles” (what the **** ?). Curiously hard line from Mr. Fineman. THERE WAS<\/span> A LOT<\/span> OF
SHOUTING.<\/span> A rare unanimous Matthews Meter! Apparently Cheney is something of a negative. Chris proposed that Cheney would move to Washington and become an “eminence gris” and take some future George Bush under his wing. THERE WAS<\/span> A LOT<\/span> OF SHOUTING <\/span>about how this was preposterous. Things Chris didn’t know: Scooter more of an embarrassment than the hunting accident for Cheney (Gloria Borger); el Baraday about to become the Bush’s best friends over uniting again
Iran (Fineman); there is no conspiracy to turn Louisiana into a red state (Julia Reed); big Republican donors love John McCain (Michael Duffy).<\/p> http://www.wonkette.com/politics/maureeen-dowd/chatology-passing-the-buck-155869.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/maureeen-dowd/chatology-passing-the-buck-155869.php maureeen dowd Mon, 20 Feb 2006 15:43:25 -0500

Citizens of Wonketteville, fear not. As we promised<\/a>, your beloved Wonkette Emerita, Ana Marie Cox<\/a>, will be making regular appearances in these pages. Last week, she liveblogged the SOTU<\/a>. This week, she drops the science of Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew, a weekly round-up of the Sunday shows that will typically appear each Monday. (This weeks installment was held up for various technical reasons that we wont bore you with -- oh, and the Super Bowl had something to do with it too.)<\/p>

And now, without further ado, Ana Marie Cox.<\/p>

AMC: We worried that this was too late in the day for a recap of the Sunday shows, but, hell, youre still watching that GoDaddy.com ad, anyway, arent you? [Ed. note: This was drafted on Super Bowl Sunday, in case you havent figured that out.]<\/p>

This weeks line-up<\/u>: This Week<\/a>, Fox News Sunday<\/a>, The Chris Matthews Show<\/a>, Meet the Press<\/a> and Face the Nation<\/a>.<\/p>

Guest Ginsburg Rating<\/a><\/u>: Deputy director of national intelligence Michael Hayden gets a 2 out of 4, showing up on both This Week and Fox News Sunday. Rep. John Boehner ties, guesting on FNS and Meet the Press.<\/p>

What Everyones Talking About<\/u>:
1. NSA wiretap program. All the shows hit it except for Chris Matthews, but he tapes on Friday afternoon and you know, this hasn’t really been in the news and no one knew the hearings were coming and plus he’s got to have time for his self-indulgent commentary at the end, so he’s excused.
2. John Boehners election as House Republican leader. Again, 4 of 5 shows and again Matthews marching to a different beat.
3. SOTU detritus was hit by everyone but NSA and Boehner got more focus, so were dropping its ranking to three.
4. The cartoon controversy, which always sounds like it should be about Bill OReilly but its not. Played on everyone but Matthews (perhaps he doesnt want to compete with Hardball) and Face the Nation. (This is the story they all should have led with).<\/p>

One hit wonders<\/u>: This Week on girls self esteem (you go!), FNS on the surgeon general, Chris Matthews on “Brokeback Mountain” (apparently you can tell a lot about a country by the popular movie it produces), and Face the Nation on Nixon and outhouses. No **** .<\/p>

Quotes to live by<\/u>: Mehlman says Hillary Clinton seems to have a lot of anger (especially around the issue of infidelity); Hayden pleads, I cant tell you how much Id like to go into the operational details of this” (he also can’t tell us how much he’d like to kill us if he did tell us); Boehner brags, I have 11 brothers and sisters and my father owned a bar (and don’t forget those 11 kids can still kick your weedy anchorman ass); Andrew Sullivan pines for big daddy government (preferably in leather).<\/p>

There were no appearances by Joe Biden. Could someone call his house?<\/p>

Comprehensive, even exhaustive, summary of yesterdays non-sports-related showboating after the jump.<\/p>

This Week, ABC<\/u>
Podcast (direct audio link)<\/a><\/p>

Ken Mehlman gets grilled on new poll numbers showing preference for Democrats in double digits on every issue but “who would you rather have in the Republican party, Republicans or Democrats?” Were a party of reform, he says. After five years, right. Sure.<\/p>

Ken Mehlmans upper lip is to Republicans what Tim Kaines eyebrows are to Democrats.<\/p>

Of individual retirement savings accounts Mehlman says, Thats an example of something that maybe doesnt make the Crossfire set but the fact is it would really change the lives of the American people. Memo to Ken: Most things arent making the Crossfire set these days. Someone give that man a new CNN schedule.<\/p>

Tim rolls a clip of Chuck Hagel fuming about the politicization of national security. Mehlmans been practicing for this one: I think that national security is too important for partisanship and I hope that as a result, Democrats who previously supported the PATRIOT Act will not go along with what Harry Reid said, which is we killed the PATRIOT Act. Massive mind **** ! The solution to partisanship is for there to be one party! This is followed by litany of pre-9\/11” mindsets, including objecting to wiretaps. We welcome questions being raised. They just wont answer them. Recapitulation of the argument that wiretaps could have prevented 9\/11.<\/p>

Some chatter about lobbying and earmark reform in the House, but Mehlman says were not going to tell the House how to conduct their business. Mostly because they dont listen.<\/p>

And the talk turns to Hillary. I dont think the American people elect angry candidates... she seems to have a lot of anger, he says, raising eyebrows and then whispering, I think Aunt Flo is visiting if you know what I mean.<\/p>

Michael Hayden, architect of the NSA wiretap program and deputy director of national intelligence. He also plays Topher Graces dad on That 70s Show.<\/p>

George Stephanopoulos wants Hayden to help people understand what this program is... pleads for a metaphor (perhaps something about a wild pitch, dust, and an umpire?). He asks several hypothetical questions the circumstances under which the NSA to eavesdrop on him personally (what a diva!) ... Hayden claims that NSA doesnt have the time, the resources, the linguists to spy on innocent civilians. Is this supposed to make us feel safer? Its not that we respect your civil liberties, its that were understaffed. Not exactly an argument for renewing the Patriot Act.<\/p>

George gets his metaphor: To use a silly sports metaphor, theyre going to be playing closer to the line<\/p>

Hayden, exasperated, says I cant tell you how much Id like to go into the operational details of this. Hed like to tell us how much hed like to tell us but then hed have to tell us that hed have to kill us. Have you heard the one about how this program would have prevented 9\/11? Hayden also says that Even after the presidents authorization, if Osama bin Laden, as a hypothetical, crossed the bridge and now hes in, now hes in Niagara Falls, New York, and he calls Pittsburgh, I still cant cover him. None of these defenses are very reassuring.<\/p>

He does pick Steelers to win.<\/p>

George dubs the Cokie, Sam, and George roundtable classic! Im always wary of any panel in which George Will makes the most sense, though it looks like he’s shellacked down his hair to keep it fromescaping. Obviously, Sam Donaldsons already has. <\/p>

Sam and Cokie think Boehner doesnt represent change, Professor Will gets out a chalkboard to explain how Boehner will stop earmarks. Actually no blackboard, just moves finger around on table.<\/p>

Discussion of the cartoon controversy -- labeled here cartoon clash -- Donaldson defends original running of them but says of reprinting... we can all agree of rioting, its an over-reaction. D’oh.<\/p>

Superbowl self-fluffing interview with Dominique Dawes (who looks very Condi these days), promoting an ad about girlss self-esteem. I suspect Dove might be involved somehow.<\/p>

Sunday Funnies heavy on the Daily Show.
_________<\/p>

Fox News Sunday<\/u>
Hayden interview<\/a>
Boehner interview<\/a><\/p>

First up: NSA surveillance... Hey, wait a minute: HAYDEN is here too! Rare appearance, my ass. Chris Wallace grills Hayden on WP article that has the program yielding few suspects... surprisingly, Hayden is not going to get into the fine print. The mans job is to not say anything, doesnt seem like much of get. The point of interviewing him is....?<\/p>

Wallace asks if congressmen expressed reservations. I cant remember anything specific like that. Again, the main argument for not to being concerned about the program appears to be its own incompetence.<\/p>

Were being very candid with that with how we give our estimative products to our customers. Theres a higher tolerance for he said\/ she said. I wont go there, Chris. Hayden talks like a gay Successories representative.<\/p>

Another joke about using all your intelligence assets to predict the Superbowl winner. Steelers. If he had wiretapping authority 6 years ago, the Steelers would have won by now.<\/p>

Boehner in studio with Wallace. His eyes are sparkly and he talks like a grammar school principal. If were able to address the anxieties that theyre feeling, well do better in November. Salmon pink tie matches his tan.<\/p>

He thinks some proposed bans on bad behavior are childish in that they treat members like children. Then the members should stop eating paste paid for by expensive lobbyists.<\/p>

When Wallace asks about Boehners own fondness for privately financed junkets, Boehner starts smacking around his lips and moving his mouth like hes working on a jawbreaker in there. He has to take these trips in order to go see nuclear reactors in Spain. Wallace proposes that Boehner is more of a chamber of commerce Republican than social conservative.... I have 11 brothers and sisters and my father owned a bar. Good enough for me.<\/p>

Medicare is mentioned. Boehner says implementation was horrendous.<\/p>

Official Fox Question Others Were Too Afraid to Ask .... How do you keep that tan?<\/p>

Panel time with the usual suspects: Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Juan Williams and Bill Kristol<\/p>

Brit Hume out of the gate with an interesting spin on SOTUs lack of impressive programs or plans: It would be a bad sign for if in the sixth year of his presidency, he still had massive programs to unveil. I sort of agree, if only because I dont like his programs.<\/p>

OMG WHAT IS MARA LIASSON WEARING!?! Its like boucle jacket with hemophilia... My eyes! My eyes!<\/p>

Bill Kristols adorable self-deprecation of the day: the president seems to be doing okay without my input. Medicare prescription drug benefit not corruption could be the thing that costs the Republicans.<\/p>

Williams hammers on absence of Katrina from SOTU.

Brit Hume makes me sleepy.... snnnnzzzzz..... ooop. Here we go: Points out that Delay made the house work, seems doubtful that Boehner will.<\/p>

Cartoon controversy: Fox, of course, shows the offending illustrations... Bill Kristol does a tick tock of the story then says he thinks the radical Muslims are winning (not in area of public opinion but in terms of volume)... Juan Williams drops Bonos name into an answer about hoping he personally doesnt offend any Muslims. Hume calls it a disgrace. Everyone pats each others back about how we dont behave this way when were offended... Which raises the excellent question: Why is this a topic for chat shows? Is anyone taking the side that riots are defensible?<\/p>

Segue to the other cartoon controversy of the week -- Tom Toless Dr. Rumsfeld bit. Mara congratulates the joint chiefs for just writing a letter and not threatening to behead him. Kristol defends Toles! It was meant to be an attack on Donald Rumsfeld not the soldier, albeit an unfair attack.<\/p>

Power Player of the week is Dr. Richard Carmona ... our seventeenth surgeon general. Yeah, I had no idea either. Supports banning all tobacco products. Is not a Republican but an independent. Calls stem cell research the Fort Knox of science. Does not seem to have been vetted by the administration.
______<\/p>

Chris Matthews Show<\/a><\/u><\/p>

Panelists are David Gregory, Michell Norris, Andrew Sullivan, some blonde lady... ah, Kathleen Parker. Columnist.<\/p>

Matthews focuses on deficit busting aspects of the SOTU, then speculates about “the reality we all live:

Matthews: David Gregory, is the president really convinced his fiscal
proposals, his foreign policy, all adds up to the reality we all live?
Gregory: No, I dont think its the reality we all live.<\/blockquote> Im not sure if Matthews<\/em> shares the reality we all live, but fair enough.<\/p>

Gregory tie watch: Silver with some kind of geometric daisy-like dots.<\/p>

Why is Michelle Norris dressed like an elf?<\/p>

Andrew Sullivan: Bush hasnt been a conservative for five years.
Refers to big daddy government. Projecting?<\/p>

Gregory says Bush wants to use big government to impact change. Use of impact as a verb makes my teeth cringe. As if his tie and his href=http:\/\/www.wonkette.com\/politics\/david-gregory-dancing- queen-117970.php>dancing<\/a> werent enough to not take him seriously.<\/p>

Hamas\/regime change in Iran... Matthews still very concerned about Bushs statements being backed up by reality. Clearly, Chris only recently made the reality connection recently. <\/p>

People on this show lean forward and point a lot. Gregory: Palestinians either want a state (point) or dont want a state (point).... I do think (point) theres a legitimate shot here (point).<\/p>

Andrew Sullivan taps his feet as he talks, which sort of makes him look like hes dancing in his seat. As it were. Am I not paying attention to what theyre saying? Huh?<\/p>

Addicted to oil discussion<\/p>

Matthews meter! Will the Bush presidency be a failure or a success? Nine for failure, Sullivan is one of them and Matthews asks why. Are you trying to nail me, Chris? Hmm-mmm.<\/p>

Matthews: Reporters who hang around the White House everyday, what do they think? Is he a winner or a loser? Gregory: Oh, the overriding feeling is that hes losing. At least hes not wearing that tie.<\/p>

Clip of Rudy Giuliani talking God. Sullivan thinks it’s for real, saying that you can be secular and religious. Matthews exclaims that Andrew is both too! also hes Gay, conservative, Republican! you got everything going for you! Maybe Chris is trying to nail Sullivan.<\/p>

Southern blonde lady says Rudy is popular in the south. Chris: Thats music to my ears... I think that too. Matthews trying to nail Rudy! Matthews meter weighs on Rudy. Forgot to pay attention to result.<\/p>

Now the section of the program where Matthews is told things he doesnt know. Most of it not really worth knowing. Let Chris concentrate on nailing people. Michelle Norris says Munich will be shut out from Oscars.<\/p>

Outgoing segment appears to be Matthews simply listing movie titles. Makes striking argument that popular movies can be read as commentary on contemporary concerns.
____________<\/p>

Meet the Press<\/u>
Transcript<\/a> \/ Webcast<\/a> \/ Podcast<\/a><\/p>

Boehner here too, with same tie. Still cant shake feeling that he will announce lunch menu. Tim leads questioning with stack of Republican politicos bemoaning corruption and Iraq and corruption in Iraq. Boehner responds by saying that democracy in Iraq will cure all. Perhaps if they get to elect our representatives.<\/p>

Iran is a concern but Boehner dodges the question of whether we can fight a two front Iran\/q war.<\/p>

Student loan cuts and interest rate discussion. Boehner responds in detail and sounds confident -- says that loans werent actually cut, that it was Democrats who wanted to ditch a fixed rate. Perhaps now he will gives us lunch menu.<\/p>

Earmarks criticism elicits claim that hes never personally benefited from them, but is against eliminating them. Lobbying\/corruption\/travel... throws childish quote around again. Advocates transparency over bans... says that theres disagreement about what the reform would be but that they all want reform. Russert’s embarrassing infographic of the day shows the ongressmans travel itinerary: Spas, golf courses in Scotland and Arizona. Says Tim: Those arent exactly global hotspots.<\/p>

Boehners get-out-of-hard-question free card is thrown down. Apparently he has eleven brothers and sisters and his father owned a bar. Tim presses, Boehner finally admits these industry meetings are held in nice places. Other big admission of the interview: Handing out checks from tobacco PACs on the House floor was a big mistake. And the surprises keep coming: I think Tom Delay is innocent.<\/p>

He explains that while he got money from Abramoff-represented tribes, Jack Abramoff didnt like me. Might make a good campaign slogan.<\/p>

Arlen Specter segment. Re: NSA, Specter points out that the authorization of use of force act doesnt mention electronic surveillance. It must have been written in invisible ink! Argues that the administrations concerns that the program will be compromised if they talk too much about it cant be taken seriously until Congress knows more about it.<\/p>

FISA issue, says Specter, is big big big. Hes concerned that Bush hasnt presented the NSA program to the FISA court. Says the court doesnt leak and are experts in the area; if they said it was okay, I think that would be very comforting to the American people. It would be nice if the only people with enough knowledge to judge the program werent all Bush staffers.<\/p>

Will Specter subpoena administration records or officials? Hell consider it. Fine. Refuse to engage in Sunday show showboating. Be process oriented and reasonable. Specter: the anti-Biden. He also isnt going to comment on whether the NYT broke the law in reporting on the program; grants that reporters might cross a line in doing national security reporting but it would have to be a pretty extreme circumstances.<\/p>

Brownstein and Harwood on the panel. Its the graying white male Washington reporters covering the pundit spectrum from brown suits to black suits.<\/p>

Harwood has a lovely orange tie. Brownstein doesnt see a full-scale confrontation with WH over NSA program, will likely be decided in the Supreme Court. Of publics doubts in Iraq, Harwood notes that all those victory signs [behind Bush at rallies] may have had the opposite effect than the president intended. In that we are now losing? No: In that people now think, Oh, okay, we won? Then why are we still there? They ask good questions, these American people.<\/p>

Brownstein bobs slightly in his seat whenever hes listening to Harwood. Its like a full body nod. Reform always disappoints he says of lobbying scandals, notes that as the party that controls all three branches of government, scandal is basically Republican problem. Dont go too far out on that limb, Ron.<\/p>

SOTU energy recap (no oil addiction soundbite!) has the flip-flop on where were getting our oil. Brownstein thinks the real issue is how much the presidents proposal will actually get into our everyday lives. Harwood says something about how he doesnt think Congress takes Bush’s oil reforms seriously and then I got distracted by his use of the metaphor Its more like Jerome Bettis up the middle. (Wheres Andrew Sullivan when you need him?) Oh but were back with this: Bush is reaching out to Dems because he wants to unplug some of the electricity to the polarization in Washington. Nice.
____________<\/p>

Face the Nation<\/u>
Transcript<\/a> (pdf available via this page) \/ Podcast<\/a><\/p>

Bob Schiefffer sounds mildly cranky but bored. Jeff Sessions and Pat Leahy talking about tomorrows hearings. Mike Allen gets props for an advance look at Gonzaless testimony, including the assertion that even asking questions about the NSA program might prevent the government from preventing the next 9\/11 attack. (Now where have I heard that before?) A brilliant rhetorical strategy, if not a legal one. Leahy tries to jimmy his talking point -- were all against the terrorists -- into every sentence of his response. <\/p>

Baby-faced Sessions (The Littlest Senator) gets a question thats not so much a softball as set up on a tee: What is the best argument you can make<\/em> about why the President should have this authority? You have to be THIS HIGH to answer that question.<\/p>

Sessions basically goes with because were at war, and goes on to list the things you can do during a war that you cant normally, including how soldiers can kill the enemy without a Miranda warning. I believe the Senator is unclear on the concept of a Miranda warning: You have the right to remain silent, indeed.<\/p>

Leahy denies that the administration fully briefed Congressional leaders and asked if they should change the law, with Congress rejecting the idea because it might tip off the enemy. Leahy points out that the administration doesnt seem shy about discussing it in public now. Also asks us to consider how stupid do you think Al Qaeda is? Surely, says Leahy, they must realize that if they pick up the phone and say This is al Qaedas 800 number, wed like to
recruit somebody, theyll be found out. That would also be a really bad recruiting strategy. Stick with the virgins.<\/p>

Sessions explains that some on Congress get top, top, top secret briefings. Super double-secret top briefings.<\/p>

Leahy says that the WH has gotten changes in FISA whenever theyve asked for them. Seems to think the proof is in the pudding. Who is the pudding in that metaphor? What flavor is it? <\/p>

On the WH turning over documents to help in hearing testimony: Sessions denies that its a situation that rises to the level of needing such things turn over.<\/p>

Panel with David Brooks and Karen Tumulty. Straight into NSA hearings. Tumulty notes that Americans are easy when it comes to giving up civil liberties, and that Democrats will have a tough time getting traction.<\/p>

Schieffer says people just tend to think the government is spying on someone besides them. David Brooks doesnt care if its legal or not legal right now, lets make it legal from here on out. Schieffer then calls Brooks a civil libertarian. My head hurts.<\/p>

Re: NSA, Brooks says People accept corruption if youre addressing their needs. Head really pounding now.<\/p>

Brooks refers to some of the secret sessions I had this week (!) and uses patented Bluetm<\/super> and Redtm<\/super> State technology to explain how there are some places that Bush is not popular.<\/p>

Schieffers final word is on his first Presidential interview, in which he stood in a receiving line and asked Nixon if he would be getting in house or out of house advisers. Theyll be outhouse advisers, said Nixon. Later, they made it to the big house. You listening, Patrick Fitzgerald?<\/p> http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-digesting-the-sunday-spew-153072.php http://www.wonkette.com/politics/chatology/chatology-digesting-the-sunday-spew-153072.php chatology Tue, 07 Feb 2006 09:26:52 -0500