Wonkette

It's good to see that Dan Abrams and the other dude who was laughing at Tucker don't believe him anymore than I do.

I guess he couldn't make the argument in his bow tie.

For the defense, I admit into evidence Exhibits A and B:

One bow tie, and this "Dancing With The Stars" video clip.

After he made this remark, Tucker's viewers* collectively had this to say:

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

And they added, "Zzzzzzzzzzzz."

* This refers to three of his four regular viewers--Mary Sue had piyanuh lessuns.

NO WONDER he didn't get Bob Barker's job...

I so totally noticed yesterday when Tucker was on the Larry Craig story that he was finally wearing a regular tie. He sooooo borrowed it from some straight guy.

I wonder how much Tuckmeister spends on his hair...

Craig is a witch too?! Get the gay witch. Get him.

@legion: A little less than Mitt

Tucker is about as macho as this badly done parody...

Carlson wants to be a macho macho man
to have the kind of body, always in demand
Dancing with the Stars, go Tuck go
Works out in the health spa, muscles(?) glow
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
ready to get down with, anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
Tucker wants to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
Tucker to be a macho! Ow....

I bashed his head against the stall? Tucker, please don't posture macho, it makes you seem, well, kinda girly ....

He went BACK with a friend to go after the gay fella? Why?

With a name like Tucker, he knows gay.

@baxterthepug: There can't be a Lucky Pierre if there are only two.

What an asshole. He should be fired for this comment.

@baxterthepug: Manly men do that. Then they do a little backstroking when they return to the apartment.

@MSC: He did admit to gaybashing. Hate crime?

I really, really wish that they had changed the banner at the end of that clip to say "TUCKER CARLSON: I AM NOT GAY"

@MSC: You'd think he'd be fired because nobody takes him seriously or watches his shows. But yeah, firing him for that comment works for me too.

Just what we need. A bunch of effete neo-cons preening with their gay bashing stories.

WhatEVER, Mary.

Tucker Carlson's not gay?
Since when?

@zyxkonrad: Not to defend that pseudolibertarian snot, but I've seen Tucker more with no tie or a straight tie than a bowtie, of late.

apparently there was a small misunderstanding while he was telling the story.

"I went back with someone I knew and grabbed him...."

"And did what?"

Apparently there was a small misunderstanding while he was telling the story.

"I went back with someone I knew and grabbed him...."

"And did what?"

I don't believe a word of it. More likely it was Tucker's latest wet dream.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much. WAY too much.

If Tucker's not gay, how come my basil plant jumps up and down and shrieks when he comes on?

I just noticed last night while bingeing on Larry Craig coverage that MSNBC has wall-to-wall white guys from 4 PM to 9 PM: Tucker Carlson, Chris Matthews, Tucker Carlson, Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Dan Abrams. AAAAGGGHHH!

"Well, he peed on my Gucci loafers and was eyeing my Prada bag rather suspiciously. So I slapped him. I mean, what's a girl to do?"

"I am the least anti-gay right-winger out there!"

Tuck, a right-winger? No, surely not.

"Well, he peed on my Gucci loafers and was eyeing my Prada bag rather suspiciously. So I slapped him. What's a girl to do?"

Oops, I mean from 4 PM to 10 PM! Six-hour block of vanilla fudge. I guess their different political affinities are what passes for diversity.

"Well, first he peed on my Gucci loafers and then he started eyeing my Prada bag. So I slapped him. After all, what's girl to do?"

Opening question for the next Republican debate: Raise your hand if you are TOTALLY NOT gay.

Well, duh. Who hasn't gotten a little bruised up when engaging in a hearty round of furtive assfucking in a cramped toilet stall?

He has a son. How could he be gay?

Tucker Girlson is so, so butch in his tough guy Frat Boy hair and his cute little bow tie!!

Of course Tucker's not "gay"... just because he likes takin' it up the ass from some hung she-male doesn't mean he's some kind of homo... he's a Repuglican, damnit!

The person in the stall that Tucker mentioned...George Michael. No joke.

@loucabron:

My hearing of it was even a little more questionable: "... and grabbed him by the ... and grabbed him." "And did what?"

Once a gay tries to turn you (ever so minimally) to the Dark Side, it's perfectly permissible (and Not Gay) to give his undercarriage a little how's-your-father before you bash him, right, Tuck?

tucker's pal gets extremely jealous when someone else hits on him.

what a ripping yarn, and a timely reminder that tucker is in the entertainment biz. let's face facts, tucker carlson couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding without some kind of armed support.

and i'd like to (mis?)quote eddie murphy here: "a gay man's still a man-- he kick yo' ass."

So Tucker likes to slap his trade around a bit?

Well, now we know there's someone for everyone, even if that someone is your imaginary toilet stall cruiser friend.

@baxterthepug: His friend probably had $20. That's the going rate, they say.

What a douchebag. He can't tell the guy in the next stall to knock it off.....he has to go get his boyfriend to help knock him around a bit....cuz that's what real men do right?

Lavatory Lothario Larry "The Cruiser" Craig, was not content with having joined the Mile High Club as a solo act, having to reach under the stall only to find the long arm of the law.

How louche!? Did you spank him with your fucking bow tie, too?

Christ, my teenage daughter could kick the crap out of Tucker Carlson. What a fucking liar.

This story sends my bullshit meter into the red.

The only thing Tucker ever beat was his meat...and that only required two, maybe three fingers tops.

In related news, Tucker totally has a girlfriend in Canada from summer camp.

@jose reyes.the roof:

Jesus--you WATCH Tucker?

My son limits my teevee viewing and is very, very strict when it comes to teh Tucker, so I am not the most up-to-the-minute.

Whatever. I think we can all agree that Carlson is noxious, odious little turd, with an over-inflated opinion of his own importance. The only reason people watch his show is to laugh at his pathetic affectations. He reminds me of the pathetic little liars at school who would try to one-up others with mythical tales of derring-do. Snoozeville.

Tucker needs to enlist in the armed forces so he can check out the toilets in Iraq.

I wonder if Larry Craig would be desperate enough to do this little Fucker or if he has better taste?

@ReformedBathroomSexer: You wonder if Craig has better taste? He was sucking guys off in airport bathrooms! Of course he has better taste.

So this piece of shit gets a pal, 2 against 1, roughs up the guy and then has him arrested? What a wonderful story of the GOP fatherland, cowardly closet bigots in perfect harmony with prejudiced cops. Hey here's an idea when someone makes an advance and you're not interested just say 'no thanks'. It would be too bad if some gay men run into Tucker in a bathroom and slap that silly motherfucker around. No wait the other thing- funny as hell.

Umm...hey Tucker? Being the meat in a man sandwich isn't what "gay-bashing" means. Thought you should know before you go on TV and make an...oh, you already did. Never mind then.

Ummm, Tucker - being the meat in a man sandwich isn't "gay-bashing". You should really look into these things before you open your mouth.

Gah...sorry for the double post. This software hates me.

Tucker didn't say which head he slammed.

I'm just sayin...

On an ABC News report in 1982, so long ago that the networks hadn't yet felt it necessary to permanently tattoo their logos at the bottom of the screen, Idaho senator Larry Craig was a congressman and even then vehemently denying he was gay, though no one had said he was.

I can't believe that Tucker resorted to violence. Everyone knows the proper thing to do when you are accosted in a men's room is to drop to your knees and give the guy a $20.

@andrewsmash:

It's all right, most of us here have been shit on by professionals.

So Tuck's the "least anti-gay right winger" around but he still bashed the guy's head against the stall. Is he in competition for this title with Ann "faggot" Coulter?

Gee, if these are our friends on the right, is it no wonder that the Dems take us for granted???

By the way, I'll give Tucks credit for one thing. Obviously he doesn't view gay men as stereotypical weak effeminate men otherwise he wouldn't have had to get his buddy to help attack the guy.

I think Tucker misspoke. By son, he meant slave. I have it on good authority he likes the S and M.

If you get your friend, and go back, and hurt the person who turned you on, you can totally prove to yourself & the whole world you're not gay.

Mission accomplished Tucker--and it's important to keep telling the story in public--that will cement in all our minds the idea that YOU AREN'T GAY.

We get it. Really.

I'm guessing this is actually a recounting of his super-illicit S & M fantasy which ends, of course, with Tucker ramming some dude in Union Station. Cuz, like, he's no sissy Mary--he's a top, all the way. Friend of Dorothy? Hmm...

I'll tell you what--after watching Tucker I'm feeling so macho--next time a guy so much as looks at me in a public rest room, I'm gonna get my friend Brad and come back and bash his head upside a stall, mostly for grins, but just in case he's a homo.

@PissantKant: actually, he runs out and gets his BSFE Brad, and they take turns ramming the pervert to teach him a lesson

Tucker Carlson grabbed a friend, headed into a bathroom to commit premeditated assault, then went and got a cop to arrest the guy he assaulted.

This is like when that kid in grade school told you his uncle was Scottie Pippen, but couldn't get you tickets to Bulls games because he didn't want people to think he was giving special favors to his family. Except less believable.

@disgustedcitizen:
Christ, my teenage daughter could kick the crap out of Tucker Carlson. What a fucking liar.
_____________________________________________

My cat "Al" could take Tucker out.

@PeeJay: lol!

Is it really wrong to admit that I wouldn't kick either Tucker Carlson or Joe Scarborough out of my bed?

You would think between the two of them they could have come up with the $20 and defused the situation. Hell, in the 80s, I would have guessed they could have gotten away with $10 and a hand job.

@Arroyo:

And that was before he became a big strong man.

Anyone else notice how Tucker "I'M NOT TEH GAY" Carlson has put on like 30 lbs since moving to NW?

@Moncrief: Who here among us would? Just remember to save the dress OK?

I thought CNN was growing some cojones, when they dumped Tucker, after Jon Stewart of "Daily Show" was a guest & showed what a d--k he was; but then CNN hired radio talk show total creepnik, Glen Beck, to be one of the hosts of their "Headline News" program.

Then someone insane at MSNBC hires fancy boy Tucker & gives him his own show! WTF?

This must be a secret plot by corporate media to drive away viewers from the few News programs on TV. Dumb it down, boys, dumb it down!

No, Chris Matthews, dumb it down some more!

"Countdown" w/ Keith Olbermann is the only News show on MSNBC worth watching. He's excellent!