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Kids

Now That's What We Call Fun With Federal Government Websites

There was DHS, then FEMA, perennial favorite the NRO, the brilliant artistry of the USDA, and eventually our frenemies overseas joined in with Captain Hamad and the cutest martyr in Palestine.

But all must take a backseat to the awesomeness of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms kids website. Not because it has a funny mascot, or cats in rocketships, or human-animal hybrids, or even because it’s very good — it was clearly thrown together in 20 minutes by a guy with no web design experience. No, because it has pictures, drawn by kids, depicting what they think their ATF agent parents do.
There are a shitload more after the jump. Why? Because we love you.

dsc_555020%.jpgdsc_556020%.jpgdsc_556420%.jpgdsc_556820%.jpgThis might be our very favorite one. Look at how perfectly it captures the quiet desperation of the lifelong bureaucrat. This is not a happy man, and when he goes home to Douglas, he feels only vague dissatisfaction — where did it all go wrong? Why am I not like Mom, above, who shoots?
dsc_557320%.jpgdsc_557620%.jpgYoung Magnolia’s parents seem to have told her that the “T” is for “Turtles.”
dsc_557820%.jpgdsc_558320%.jpgReilly depicts the nightly phone call home from Dad, saying he’ll be working late. The Walter Mitty fantasies of the Desk Jockey are known all too well in that household.
dsc_558420%.jpgdsc_559420%.jpgdsc_559620%.jpgYoung Elena is a budding political speechwriter. She designed the background for the President’s Monday Town Hall.
dsc_560520%.jpgdsc_560620%.jpgdsc_561220%.jpgYou can tell which kids’ parents tell them the truth.
dsc_563420%.jpgIt says “Elementary School,” but it means “Paramilitary Compound.” Ruby Ridge 2, people.
dsc_564220%.jpg

Kids Art Contest [AFT]

7:43 PM on Tue Mar 21 2006
By Pareene
752 views
8 comments

Comments

  • by weaselplasty at 08:41 PM on 03/21/06

    ah, the first picture is classic. the atf: defending 'merica against swarthy men who may or may not have broken out of jail and into a beautiful coconut paradise everywhere.

  • by konstantConsumer at 10:30 PM on 03/21/06

    austin is clearly not a fan of the second amendment. maybe he is friend's with garryn, whose mother was shot i suppose.

  • the cop on the left of that first picture. is that his holster? or... sorry.

  • good lord.....how highly do these people think of themselves? one of the winners is an ATF angel saving the earth and raibows for everyone. it's even got a halo. what do they tell their children?

  • by ben Goodnight at 09:06 AM on 03/22/06

    I like how Donovan in the second picture is about to get his hand blown off

  • oh shit....i just noticed that superman is holding a poptart. wtf???

  • by The Blogger f/k/a Scott at 10:51 AM on 03/22/06

    breakfast of champi...er...superheroes?

  • by Bubba Barney at 04:20 PM on 03/22/06

    About the last one, do they also protect us against alien attack? What are those triangles. I agree, what are they telling their kids they do. The paperwork ones seem spot on.

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