Breaking: Justice Stevens “Can’t Put Up With This Shit Anymore”!

Rumor has it that Justice John Paul Stevens, the senior member of the Supreme Court’s liberal wing, may call it quits when the current court term ends in June. Sources say he’s fed up with being in a powerless liberal minority — and recently expressed that frustration in some pretty colorful language for a Supreme Court justice: “I can’t put up with this shit anymore!”

Justice Stevens: Mad as hell, and not going to take this anymore!

Because retirement rumors about Justice Stevens return each spring with the birds and the flowers, we look upon them with suspicion. And there are reasons to view the rumors skeptically once again. First, at a recent clerk dinner, Justice Stevens said he had no plans to retire. Second, Justice Stevens has hired law clerks for the next term, which suggests that he plans to remain on the Court at least through June 2007 (or at least wants people to think that he will).

This time around, however, the JPS resignation rumor is supported by more detailed and credible information. First, there’s the specificity of the overheard language: “I can’t put up with this shit anymore!” Second, recent events — namely, the replacement of Justice O’Connor by Justice Alito — make Justice Stevens’s frustrated outburst more understandable.

Third, Justice Stevens may also have personal reasons for stepping down. Although he’s in fine health himself, despite turning 86 this coming April, rumor has it that his wife Maryann Simon could be in better health. Justice Stevens may wish to spend more time with her, just as Justice O’Connor left the Court to spend more time with her ailing husband, John Jay O’Connor.

An obvious caveat: this is all just idle gossip and speculation (like pretty much everything else you read here). Perhaps the overheard comment was merely a complaint by Justice Stevens about the food at the Supreme Court cafeteria — especially that funny-tasting creme brulee. Perhaps Justice Stevens intends to serve on the Court until the day he dies, like the late Chief Justice Rehnquist.

So what are Justice Stevens’s plans — and are you actually in a position to know? If so, please email us.

Will Justice Stevens Retire at the End of This Term? [Confirm Them]
Next Court Pick: Mother of All Battles [NewsMax]
Poison Justice Stevens, Coulter Jokes [CNN]

READ MORE: John Paul Stevens, ann coulter, breaking, creme brulee, john jay o’connor, maryann simon, retirements, samuel alito, sandra day o’connor, supreme court, top, william rehnquist

Wonk’d: And What About Justice O’Connor?

Thanks to all of you who responded to our request for D.C. celebrity sightings. You sent us some fantastic items, which we’ll be using shortly. Keep ‘em coming!

For now, we’d like to share one special sighting for you. It concerns Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, whose retirement from the Supreme Court became official yesterday, with the confirmation of Justice Samuel Alito. At last night’s State of the Union address, President Bush thanked Justice O’Connor “for 24 years of faithful service to our nation.”

As this self-described “simple cowgirl” rides off into the sunset, inquiring minds want to know: Where is she headed? And what is she riding?

Justice O’Connor is returning to her home state of Arizona, where she will teach law at the University of Arizona (and also spend more time with husband, John Jay O’Connor). And as for what she’ll be riding, check out this report from a Wonkette correspondent:

About three weeks ago, I was at the Mobil station on Connecticut Ave. near Chevy Chase Circle. I was backing my car up to the pump and I thought to myself, “Hey, that’s weird. That woman gassing up her Buick looks a lot like Sandra Day O’Connor. Holy shit, that is Sandra Day O’Connor!” There’s something surreal about seeing an icon of the American judicial system squeegee her windshield.

We couldn’t have put it better ourselves. A woman who was the Supreme Court’s crucial swing vote for many years, routinely named one of the world’s most powerful women, pumps her own gas — into a Buick, which she drives herself.

Supreme Court Justices: They’re just like us. They’re addicted to oil!

Retired Justice O’Connor to Teach Law [AP]

Earlier: Wonk’d: Pretty Slim Pickings

READ MORE: addicted to oil, gas prices, john jay o’connor, samuel alito, sandra day o’connor, supreme court, wonk’d