It's been brought to our attention that the Sichuan Wolong Panda Protection and Breed Center now has SIXTEEN BABY PANDAS. To be sure, they all probably have dumb Chinese panda cub names, like "Happy Fuzzy Cat-Bear," and "Gurgling Mammal" and "A Little Piece of Something Very Black and White," and none of them is the Stick, but it begs the question: WHY DO THEY WANT HIM BACK? We have one baby panda. His name is Butterstick. Not only do the Chinese clearly have more than they need, but in two years, the Stick will be an xBox-playing panda teen (Six fingers! He'll totally dominate.) in baggy shorts, playing the Strokes on his iPod so loud he won't listen to instructions on how to use chopsticks or honor his mother and father. Keep the American panda in America. Already he complains that "no one gets my Arcade Fire references." Imagine how lonely he'll feel if no one else around can quote the first season of "Arrested Development."
Zoo Has Hands Full With 16 Baby Pandas [NBC17]
Clearing a few things up [the butterstick blog]
READ MORE: butterstick , china , international relations , pandas , top
|
---
KATRINA RELIEF
Put your money where our mouth is. Donate to the Red Cross.
tips@wonkette.com
press requests
AIM: tipwonk
Disclaimer
Gossip Roundup: The '08 Thong Collection
Daily Briefing: Mysterious Ways
Out with the Stick, In with the Butter
Remainders: We Seem To Have A Mechanical Flaw Edition
Sponsor Threat: Cashing In & Salad Days
Advertising
RSS
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use
Visitor Survey
The Gawker Shop
Wear your politics on your chest! Get your Wonkette tshirts here.
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
all archives...
editor:
Ana Marie Cox
news analysis:
Henry Seltzer
reporter:
Neal Ungerleider
illustration:
Andrew Sklar
design:
Patric King
software:
Movable Type
systems:
Brice Dunwoodie
operations:
Gabriela Giacoman
business development:
Gaby Darbyshire
managing editor:
Lockhart Steele
publisher:
Nick Denton
