Remainders: With Great Vengeance and Furious Anger

• A new video game that tries to “out-violence” Grand Theft Auto — brought to you by, who else, the Christian Right. [Petroleum Jelliffe]

• Proof that watching too much cable news can make you crazy. [Craigslist]

• Ever seen hyenas rip into the corpse of a gazelle? [Rude Pundit]

• The IRS has issued a contract to the lowest bidder for rights to archive the coffee-stained receipts you mailed in with your tax return. [Consumerist]

• If AIDS ceases to be a crisis, it’ll be much harder to raise money. [Corporate Casual]

READ MORE: AIDS, IRS, Remainders, bill o’reilly, christian right, craigslist, crazies, fundraising improprieties, michelle malkin, taxes, video games, violence

Hammer No Hit Man

Wow. You know that you’ve got a long climb back up to alpha-political dominance when even USA Today can make the words “Related Story” read like another count in an indictment:

DeLay is the center of an ethics swirl in Washington. The 11-term congressman was admonished last year by the House ethics committee on three separate issues and is the center of a political storm this year over lobbyists paying his and other lawmakers’ tabs for expensive travel abroad. (Related story: Men with ties to lobbyist Abramoff nabbed in businessman’s death)

Even we think that’s a bit much. After all, DeLay has an airtight alibi for the night of that alleged Mob hit: He was home all evening, rolling giddily around in a palette of hundred dollar bills, spraying a churned-up bottle of champagne before a wall-size electoral district map of Texas, and shrieking “Now you are all mine, my pretties!” — HOLLY MARTINS

DeLay Indicted for Conspiracy in Campaign Finance Probe [USA Today]

READ MORE: criminal indictment, fundraising improprieties, jack abramoff, tom delay

A Shadow of the Former Hammer

Tom DeLay is indeed the proud new owner of a criminal indictment, and has in short order announced that he will be stepping aside as House Majority Leader. And it all happened while we were away at lunch. Clearly, we’re going to have to start eating out a lot more often. — HOLLY MARTINS

DeLay Indicted, Will Step Aside As Majority Leader [CNN]

READ MORE: fundraising improprieties, grand jury indictment, tom delay, travis county

Bringing the Hammer Down?

A Travis County, Tex., grand jury may hand down an indictment of Tom DeLay today, according to a report in the Austin-American Statesman. The charge looks to be a conspiracy count, stemming from the Hammer’s alleged use of corporate funds for campaign purposes:

In recent days, the broad-based investigation has focused on one particular transaction that could tie back to DeLay.

In late September 2002, [John] Colyandro, the executive director of Texans for a Republican Majority, sent a blank check to Ellis, who is DeLay’s primary fundraiser in Washington.

According to the money-laundering indictment returned against those two, Ellis was accused of having the Republican National Committee launder $190,000 of corporate donations into noncorporate money to seven Texas House candidates.

This does at least explain one big mystery. Any congressional leader using a blank check from his PAC director as the foundation for his campaign fundraising is going to look at a federal budget containing historic new levels of discretionary spending and declare it entirely fat-free.

We kid, but DeLay shouldn’t be too worried about any pending indictment, conviction, or incarceration. We have it on very good authority that involuntary confinement in brutal, privacy-free conditions is actually “kind of fun.” — HOLLY MARTINS

Conspiracy Charge a Possibility for DeLay [Austin-American Statesman]

READ MORE: fundraising improprieties, grand jury indictment, tom delay, travis county