Reuters Party Drink List: Mocked By Wonkette Before Wonkette Got a Chance To

The Reuters drink list — courtesy, natch, of a hard-working publicist on the front lines of the Afterparty War — reminded us of something we’d seen before. We couldn’t quite remember at first, but whilst thumbing through our dog-eared copy of Dog Days, debut novel by Wonkette Emerita Ana Marie Cox, there was a sudden flash of recognition. Looks like we’ve got a preemptive parody on our hands:

Melanie looked at Julie: “Assistants, associates, deputies, and bloggers. Oh, my.”

“It’s a veritable Who’s Not list.” Julie shook her head sadly. “I did warn you.”

“And the drinks? So are they not fun?”

“They’re so not fun they ought to come with a tax bill. Come on.” Julie led the way to the bar.

In front of it, a sign announced drink specials.

The Pina-COLA-raise: A dash of rum, a dash of pineapple, and a helping of economic justice!
The Single Payer Scotch: This Scotch and soda makes for preventative care!
The Filibustermaker: No pro-life Supreme Court nominees can get past a beer and a shot of minority party legislative rights.
The Blue State: A martini, but blue.
The Rainforest Crunch: Midori and wheat grass, on the rocks!

“Those are the drinks you have to pay to drink?” asked Melanie. “Shouldn’t they be giving them away? Preferably to those who need them the most?”

Oh, Washington. You’re cute when you try to be clever. But leave it to the professionals.

Dog Days [Amazon]
Earlier: The Reuters Pre-Party Drink Menu: Let the Arms Race Begin

READ MORE: after party, alcohol, ana marie cox, correspondents dinner, dog days, original wonkette, prom, reuters, wonkette

Seriously. Could There Possibly Be a Better Dog Days Tie In?

Reading today’s Washington Post, we are reminded of a side-by-side comparison of the after-effects of Hurricane Katrina with those of the Chernobyl disaster that was published last September. The authors then pointed out what they felt were extraordinary differences in the area of governmental responses, which are, as quick as we are to work ourselves into a lather over Katrina, perhaps best taken with several thousand grains of salt.

But in today’s Post, we learn of one new aspect of the Katrina disaster which enhances its standing over Chernobyl. Back in September, the chart’s authors cited the presence of “wolves and feral dogs” rampaging across Chernobyl’s affected zone. The Katrina analogue? With their owners stuck on rooftops and the fences that separated them flattened, gulf-area dogs found a way to indulge in an unprecedented period of free-range fucking. The result? Dozens upon dozens of super-adorable puppies. Sounds like someone’s levees have been breached by category five cuteness!— DCEIVER

After Katrina, Gulf Coast Faces a Puppy Boom [Washington Post]

READ MORE: dog days, dogs, katrina, sex, top

Gossip Roundup: ‘Like the Old Days of Watergate’

• Reliable Source: Bono lunched with Bush yesterday… Ana Marie Cox on upcoming novel: “I now realize that it’s impossible to create any Washington character without somebody thinking it’s them. I shouldn’t have written a novel, I should have written an index.” [WP]
• Under the Dome: Coburn (R-Okla.) says “it’s ok if the Republicans lose control” in ‘06 and that “Republicans allow the next generation to pay for” their spending… Senators enjoy screening of “Good Night and Good Luck.” [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: Hillary, Bill Bennett, Bob Bennett, Porter Goss and others will attend tonight’s reception for Louis Freeh… Bush, Laura and Nancy Reagan will attend tomorrow’s opening of the Air Force One Pavilion at the Reagan library. [WT]
• Liz Smith: Bush’s “government is simply reeling with rumor. It’s like the old days of Watergate with almost as much at stake.” [NYP]

READ MORE: Democrats, Personalities, Republicans, ana marie cox, bono, dog days, george w. bush, hillary clinton, laura bush, louis freeh, nancy reagan, porter goss, tom coburn