Wonkette
This is kind of like excitedly reporting stock picks made by a homeless lunatic, but George Bush Junior has apparently ended his long tragic silence about the 2008 candidates because, like all average dumb Americans, he just learned there’s a presidential election coming up next year. And what is Darth Chimpy McHitler’s conclusion? The most conventional wisdom of all, that’s what.
Hillary will win the nomination, says Bush Junior, because she has the “great national presence and this is becoming a national primary,” whatever that means.
Meanwhile, “Bush has expressed surprise that former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani remains the front-runner.” Us too, George, us too. True, all the GOP candidates are really loathsome human beings (with the exception of fifth-tier longshots “Nice Mike” Huckabee and Ron “People Who Don’t Know Anything About Politics Like Me” Paul), but Rudy is also a rat-faced liberal cross-dressing opera-loving Manhattan dandy and gun-taking-away abortionist.
Even Bush Junior understands why Republican voters (at this early stage) still like Rudy: Because he shares their seething hatred of Muslims and deep longing for more terrorist attacks. Sure, he only needs terror so he can keep polling okay and trampling the crushed remains of 9/11 victims so he can keep earning million of dollars talking about how he stood around on 9/11 because he put the city’s emergency center inside the city’s biggest terror target, but GOP primary voters who need terror so that Jesus will come back and nuke the Middle East don’t really worry about Rudy’s motives. As long as he pretends to love terror, they tolerate him.
Bush Junior also says the GOP will keep the White House next year. If that’s anywhere near as accurate as his 2006 predictions, Hillary might as well deliver her acceptance speech and we can all be done with this stupid charade.
Bush Says Clinton Will Be Dem Nominee [AP/FoxNews]
Comments
In how many presidential elections has Bush picked the winner? Who knows. But he won't be getting it right this time:
[news.aol.com]
At least he didn't think he was going to win a third term.
*shivers*
Nice tag.
In Saudi Arabia, hereditary titles pass from brother to brother. That makes Jeb a shoo-in.
Is Bush ignoring a black man really a story?
...but Rudy is also a rat-faced liberal cross-dressing opera-loving Manhattan dandy and gun-taking-away abortionist.
You left out evolutionist.
HAHA
Suck it Christian Coalition!
Ooh, a brief mention of John McCain -- I'm sure that was worth handing his testicles to Dubya during the last election.
@Civil Negligence: I am not seeing where "I truly think the Republicans will hold the White House" means that he is really not coming to work in Jan 09.
Ru paul is running for President? Awesome!
Since when is Ron Paul not a really loathsome human being? Is he getting a pass because he wants to abolish the IRS (and apparently, all the other parts of the guvmint that he won't be using when he's President)?
doofus indeed
Well, you may not get to keep the house, Georgie, but here are a lovely set of commemorative plates. GWB - the man who made Nixon and Reagen look less incompetent and only half as corrupt.
"The bottom line is, it really doesn't matter what the president thinks about who will win the Democratic primary," Perino said. "There's going to be a showdown at the OK Corral and they'll figure out whose going to be the nominee and from there the president will campaign vigorously for the Republican candidate."
I kinda like the idea of the primaries being settled in a gun fight. I would love to see Huckabee ventilate Guiliani.
Kill Arabs! Save the fetus! The GOP way!
In how many presidential elections has Bush picked the winner?
The last two? That's a 100% prediction rate!
(Of course, Scalia helped.)
"Frankly, it's difficult to not talk about the '08 election a lot," White House press secretary Dana Perino said. "There's a lot of interest in it and it does have consequence."
Hmmm, Dana Perino....What are we talking about again?
@georgia_peach:
Quiet, you are going to wake the Paultards.
@catsonmars:
Let's be honest, Rove picked the last two winners.
did he mention that hillary:
1. did not get a purple heart in 'nam.
2. presided over the execution of the protocols of zion.
3. worked as an intern for stalin.
4. planned the japanese bombing of nanking.
5. developed poison gas in ww1.
6. infected the potato crop in ireland.
and 7. spread the black plague.
@lionel hutz
Oh dear, you are right. But at least I didn't feed them after midnight...
@Lionel Hutz Esq.:
Cheer, cheer for old Ron Paul,
Wake up the Paultards cheering his name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky.
What though the odds be great or small
Old Ron Paul will win over all.
Sorry, don't know why that got stuck in my head.
@PeteJäyhawk™:
Probably because the original subject of those lines is currently 0-4 (unlike our locals).
@njdon: You neglected to mention that she fathered a mulatto baby...
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