Wonkette
The leaders of Canada, Mexico and the United States are having secret meetings in a sinister Canadian castle today that will mean the End of the United States, finally, sources said.
Bush Junior is meeting today and tomorrow with Mexican prez Filipe Calderon (who also wasn’t exactly elected to office) and Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper (who also wasn’t elected because Canada worships the Queen, we think?) so they can combine the three countries into one slave-labor economic ruin known as Canarexico or something.
The new North American Union will feature the worst parts of all three countries: Low wages and crushing poverty like in Mexico, 11-month-long winters and weird round bacon like in Canada, and widespread obesity and retardation like in the USA.
PM Stephen Harper describes the new citizen as “a loathsome no-skills service-sector laborer too addicted to television and nachos to ever rebel against their corporate overlords who will actually all move to Dubai, where it’s safe.”
For his part, Calderon promised to reverse small gains in the Mexican middle class and vowed to replace the nation’s rich culture with “whatever stupid bullshit keeps the norte americanos so docile, maybe poison Chinese toys or rap-metal?”
Bush Jr. had no official statement, but presented a note from Cheney authorizing the president to sign whatever binding documents which will formally transfer U.S. sovereignty to an off-shore entity.
A bunch of meek losers held a weak protest where they were told to go, about 30 miles from the castle where the leaders are having their not-so-secret meeting.
Riot police, protesters clash as Bush arrives at summit [Standard News Services]
Tensions Rise In Montebello [Canoe.ca]
Comments
Canarexico? Sounds like an eating disorder.
I'm okay with it as long as the official beer is the (formerly) Canadian stuff, and not the Mexican bilge.
@grad69: A friggin men. Anything south of our border is pretty undrinkeable to Canadians.
If I don't need a passport to go to fuckin' Cancun, it's worth whatever loss in civil rights I take. Because those are going down the crapper in a hurry anyways.
My PM, the bulbous Stephen "Man Titties" Harper would love to "Allen" Bush, but knows that many of us still remember the Cannuckistani loathing when Brian "Unindited Bribe Taker" Mulrooney went down on Reagan in the 80s. "Man Titties" wants his majority before this union takes place and it won't happen if he keeps up with shit like this at Castle Wolfenstein.
I would start drinking, but I never stopped.
You could put up the pic of President Bush walking between some guards with our super duper (and gorgeous)Governor General.. she fills in for the Queen when Liz is off doing her job in her other Dominions... England, Australia, Lower Gobspittel, etc.
Ugh -- this is going to make the primary season even longer, isn't it?
A place where nobody dared to go
The love that we came to know
They call it Amexicanadu
And now, open your eyes and see
What we have made is real
We are in Amexicanadu
A million lights are dancing
And there you are, a shooting star
An everlasting world and you're here with me
Eternally
Amexicanadu your neon lights will shine
@SayItWithWookies:
Not if they adopt our rules. Our elections are a couple of months long.
Under Canadian law, the right for a protest to be seen and heard is guaranteed.
Yeah, it is in the US as well. We just call it "warrantless wiretapping".
@Outstando:
Sorry about the dead space. Can someone stick a snorg girl in there?
@Outstando:
There was supposed to be fireworks and mariachis and turquoise wolves dancing against a black velvet sky, but I couldn't get the java applet html code right.
The leaders of Canada, Mexico and the United States are having secret meetings in a sinister Canadian castle today that will mean the End of the United States, finally, sources said.
Would that sinister Castle happen to be Castle Elsinore (AKA Casa Loma), where they brew Elsinore Beer? And would Bush's plan involve adding a powerful mind-control drug to everyone's favorite Canadian brew? I just knew "Strange Brew" was more of a prophetic documentary type movie than a screwball comedy.
@Senator Boomdog:
I would start drinking, but I never stopped.
I'm going to translate this into Latin and have them carve it on my tombstone.
@David Flores:
Get a brain!
Moranis
1. @Outstando: My eyes, my eyes.
2. Amerimexanada: French spoken here and It's The End of the World As We Know it (and I Feel Fine).
@David Flores: Bush ginning up a Canamerican beer with a mind control drug? Why bother. He already has three: FoxNews, WaPo and Judith Miller.
@David Flores: The clues have been there all along. Even in 2001, I'd have bet that W would sell us all down the river for a jelly donut.
montezuma finally gets his revenge.
this proves home schooling pays off.
@Cranky Little Camperette: Please share if you do. Online translator says "Ego would satus imbibo, tamen ego nunquam subsisto," but I am fairly certain "would" is not Latin. And that the rest of that is wrong.
I'm ok as long as the word party never becomes fiesta and Americans don't have to use the word aye.
@rijomi:
That's eh, not aye! Take off, Hoser.
Folk, folks. Get with the program.
Bush is just presenting the pre-war ultimatum to Canada. (Who says King George doesn't use diplomacy?) If they do not surrender their timber, oil and shale reserves and the 1/3 of the world's fresh water supply immediately to the US, we will send our new Illegal Immigrant Army north to deal with the Loonie Terror.
Calderon is just there to do his Mel Blanc impersonation and say "Si" to whatever King George says.
At least we'll get SHIT ON BY PROFESSIONALS in three languages.
@icedog: I'd hit that:
[images.google.com]
Course,in other images she looks more like a washed out crackwhore, ala Diana Ross before she started hanging out with Michael Jackson.
Hooray for Canadian diversity!
Elizabeth Edwards was heard mumbling, "I wish we could make John a woman, black, and look like her. Bitch. I hope she gets breast cancer".
That's Canarexico, LLC
@ManchuCandidate: Then get ready for hell. First, you're going to have to get rid of that commie "parliament" and "prime minister" stuff. Then every province and territory will have to have its own primary (but not before New Hampshire's) and then everyone gets to vote, but not for the candidate -- rather, for an electoral college person. And then the Supreme Court elects the most ignorant fascist on the ballot.
I don't think any of that's covered in the Schoolhouse Rock song, but this is the practice, not the theory. Wanna secede yet?
'A group of powerful business executives has been invited to make a closed-door presentation Tuesday at the summit on changes they believe the continent needs. No such invitation was extended to scientists, environmentalists, or other social activists.'
That's OK. I think we can trust these guys to take care of our interests.
@SayItWithWookies:
Sweet Zombie Jeebus! Make it stop! No Harper Girls! No Jack Laytards or Lays!
I declare the Independent Monarchy of Beeristan!
How do you say; SHIT ON BY PROFESSIONALS in Canadian?
ok, we'll give them back texas provided we get more bordertown cantinas.
@Senator Boomdog: @Cranky Little Camperette: I can't tell you what the hell that means in Latin, but isn't knowledge of the "useful" language of Spanish close enough for guv-mint work? Besides, Spanish is going to be the official language of Mexicanerica anyway...time to start practicing. Here's my translation (corrections welcome - my use of Spanish is limited to the taco truck and social work world - neither application requires too much knowledge of the future subjunctive)
I would start drinking, but I never stopped. = Comenzaría beber, pero nunca paré.
Yeah, I guess the Latin is better. But words to live by in any language.
Lock washers place tension against a nut after tightening, to help prevent the nut from loosening.
FKNA
[www.commondreams.org]
Published on Friday, August 17, 2007 by Reuters
US Paid $1 Million to Ship Two 19-Cent Washers
by Jim Wolf
What's good for Halliburton isn't necessarily good for twin sisters running a South Carolina company.
Send the twins to Uzbekistan and boil 'em in oil. Those lock washers were supposed to be shipped to Cheney's secret bunker.
@Hans_Auff:
I dunno, but think poutine factors into it somehowz.
@Senator Boomdog, @SanFranLefty:
Gah! Unfair to expect me to remember Sr. Joan's freshman year Latin class before my coffee!
Without a book, I would roughly go with:
Bibobo sed numquam subsito
Which roughly translates (literally) to "I will drink but I never stopped." There is a formal verb construction for "I would" verbs as well as a gerundal construction, neither of which I can remember right now (it was mumblemumble years ago).
I may actually have to see if I still have that textbook tucked away somewhere...
Or get a life, whichever.
@Hans_Auff:
merde dessus par des professionnels
en Francais Francais mais non Quebecois Francois (l'animal différent)
@Hans_Auff: How about: "Yanks sweep Jays"
@ManchuCandidate: At least we'll be able to merge the efforts of Kucinich Girl with Jack Layton Girl, since neither probably shaves their pits.
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