Wonkette
Some little hipster clarinet player from NYU is claiming the Iraq invasion and occupation was all about securing oil supplies for America. Oh and what is that sticking out of Jazzbo Al’s tattered raincoat? A worn paperback of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” which he actually first read when she was writing it, when he was screwing some gal in Rand’s “inner circle” and writing angry letters to the New York Times about how “parasites who persistently avoid either purpose or reason perish as they should.” That’s right, we’re talking about former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan!
Greenspan is the beloved Fed chairman who presided over the 1987 stock market crash, the early 1990s’ recession, the Internet stock bubble and its bloody explosion, and the current housing bubble collapse that will ultimately lead to a Global Depression and the end of modern civilization, which ultimately won’t be missed. But under his Objectivist Stewardship of the American Economy over two decades, the richest 5% of the United States became richer while the entire rest of the country slipped deeper into debt-soaked serfdom and the wealthiest one-tenth of one percent all became Multi Billionaires and created a secret parallel America of private-jet airports, pleasure submarines and massive walled fortresses protecting private ski resorts, champion golf courses and miles of “public” coastline.
Well done, Maestro!
(Oh and did you know he wrote/edited Rand’s The Objectivist newsletter and was always going on about the Gold Standard? Motherfucker was like the pre-Internet Ron Paul! Until he sold out to the Federal Reserve and the New World Order and Fiat Currency ….)
Anyway, Al’s new book says all the democracy/weapons bullshit was just bullshit so we could go seize the Iraqi oil fields and make sure Saddam didn’t suddenly start a Powerful Navy and somehow take control of the Gulf and make oil cost $120 a barrel, which is a whole $40 more than it costs, er, today, which itself is quadruple the cost per barrel in, uh, 2003, when they invaded Iraq to control the oil supply.
Also, Greenspan says Bush is an idiot and Cheney won’t listen to him and some Administration Official said back before the war that of course it was about oil, but “unfortunately, we can’t talk about oil.”
Alan Greenspan claims Iraq war was really for oil [Times of London]
Greenspan: Ouster Of Hussein Crucial For Oil Security [Bob Woodward]
Comments
This book will convince 5% of Bush apologists that Jazz musicians are traitors
Seriously, is there anyone (outside of Libertarians) actually that has read one whole Ayn Rand book? I've tried once and I stopped after I passed out during the 2nd paragraph of Atlas Unshrugged/Undead/Untarded.
About the only thing more common on used book store shelves than Rand is used Porn. Given the choice, I'd buy someone else's wank mags before I ever buy another Rand book again.
•We invaded Iraq for the oil.
•Dubya is an idiot.
Neither of these revelations make Greenspan a genius.
@Obersenf: Does this make him a Felonious Punk?
@ManchuCandidate: I read Fountainhead for fun because I liked the architecture slant. As a thinly veiled Frank Llloyd Wright bio, it's entertaining.
My kid was assigned Anthem in sophomore English. We both agreed that Rand is a nut. Who says you can't learn something in the public schools?
What do you call a jazz musician who just broke up with this girlfriend?
Homeless.
Whatever you do, don't try the veal. It's as rancid as my pathetic attempt at humor. The things I do to look busy at work...
I watched Greenspam on 60 minutes last night and he had nothing good to say about any of the Republican presidents he worked with. He did say complimentary things about Bill and Hillary. When asked how he would be voting he said "Republican". Obviously he is an idiot and truly hates America.
I think he's
the Antichrist.
Anthony, I want
to talk to you.
Now, listen!
Don't walk away from me
when I'm talking to you!
You get a goddamn job
before sundown,
or we're shipping you off
to military school
with that goddamn
Finkelstein shit kid!
Who cares what he says ? His last good work was Annie Hall
it was for the oil and the delicious kebabs.
When I was growing up, Alan Greenspan was like the Oracle of Delphi, issuing forth convoluted prophecies and pronouncements. All were divinely inspired truth, but none were decipherable except by a team of enlightened and specially-trained attendant priests.
Now, in his retirement, Alan Greenspan has published a book that says: "Boy, that George W. Bush is some nitwit, huh? Clinton, though, he was a pretty sharp cookie."
The times, they are a-changin'. Happy retirement, Al.
he's off the sauce.
What, you libtards think we went in to free the Iraqis or some shit like that?
But WHAT a VOICE, though, y'know what I mean?
Deep and mellow, but with a hint of rasp. If the audiobook edition has Greenspan reading, I'm buying it! The perfect sleep-inducing draught!
Such a tape will occupy a place of honor on my shelf next to Jimmy Carter's audiobook of Hour Before Sunrise, and next to my pirated acoustiguides of of Phillipe de Montebello.
These ex-administration officials who wait until AFTER they leave to write a book about what a shmuck Bush is ought to be the first to the gallows....
Thanks Alan, that one worked out really well. So we invade Iraq and we get oil at $80 a barrel. empowering Iran in the process. Any more good ideas?
@disinformationministry:
Yeah Greenspan sure didn't criticize Bush when Bush nominated him chair of the federal reserve back in 1987.
Hey Greenspan, shaddup about that. You wanna give the whole thing away?
Matt Lauer practically wet himself with excitement this morning over Today's "exclusive" with crabby Al. I guess Andrea requires a little payback for allowing his shriveled member near her diminutive carcass.
Greenspan is such as fucking commie!
@gjdodger:
*holds up card*
6.0
@weazel: Your mellifluous prose is anything but soporific to this honeybear.
Outst:
People are always complaining of my dangling participles!
Alan could have a second career talking suicidal people off of ledges. ("What do you mean you're depressed? Why don't you tell me about it...")
Ever since I read that two of Greenspan's favorite activities are long baths and playing the saxophone, I can't keep the two ideas out of my head together. I keep having this scene in my head of Greenspan naked, in the tub, while playing his saxophone.
... ooh, that smarts!
Plus, I want to state for the public record that Ayn Rand worshipers can take a flying fuck off the nearest pile of turgid Rand literature for all I care. Am I the only one around here who saw the Minneapolis Bridge Collapse as (among other things) a concrete repudiation of everything "The Fountainhead" stood for?
Y'see, Ms. Rand, sometimes an iconoclastic individualist isn't misunderstood just for expressing his iconoclastic individualism; maybe he was just a narcissistic moron all along.
Greenspan is a conspiracy theorist too?
Writing for Wonkette is bascially working the political-comedy assembly line eight fucking hours a day, and I rarely have any memory of anything because by 5 o'clock I'm just disgusted and exhausted and head for the hills with the dog so I can hike around for an hour and listen to music and look...
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