Wonkette
Each July, world leaders and captains of industry meet at a beautiful Redwoods-studded campground in Northern California to have fun, make new friends and perform solemn human-sacrifice rituals beneath a giant owl who speaks with Walter Cronkite’s voice. The 2,700-acre compound in question is known as Bohemian Grove, and it’s basically summer camp for war criminals.
What’s this got to do with some 1970s’ UK model? Find out after the jump … if you dare.
Regular attendees include Henry Kissinger, Tony Blair, Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, William F. Buckley, Chris Matthews, George Schultz, David Brooks, George H.W. Bush, James Woolsey, Dick Cheney, Jimmy Carter, James Baker, and various members of the Grateful Dead hippie-entertainiment conglomerate. Reagan was a member of the Bohemian Club, of course, and only quit going to the Grove when he quit going anywhere at all.
Richard Nixon once described the Bohemian Grove campout while his White House tape recorders were rolling: “The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time …. it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine with that San Francisco crowd.”
But not totally faggy, because for 27 years a poster of a bikini-clad model has adorned the wall of a cabin in the “Skidoo” camp, and Club organizers are supposedly tracking the woman down so they can feed her body to the Owl honor her at a dinner.
She is not invited, of course, because the Bohemian Grove is a strictly stag event. But she has been told to send a current photograph so she can be toasted or whatever at one of their campfire dinners.
“The poster hangs on the outside wall of a cabin in an area of the camp called Skidoo and has become rather famous throughout the club because of the artistic photography and the beauty of the subject,” an anonymous Grover supposedly told the Daily Mail. “We just want to do something nice for a woman who has meant so much to us.”
That “something” is rumored to include Henry Kissinger masturbating over the picture while Bob Weir and Robert Mondavi burn pictures of American schoolchildren and George H.W. Bush sails from a Giant Redwood on a parachute made from the skin of Katrina victims.
(Also, we have no idea if anything in the Daily Mail is true. It seems basically true, but we used to think that about the New York Times, too!)
The gentlemen’s club for the rich and famous that worships a 1980s Page 3 girl [Daily Mail]
Inside Bohemian Grove [FAIR]
Comments
"That "something" is rumored to include Henry Kissinger masturbating over the picture while Bob Weir and Robert Mondavi burn pictures of American schoolchildren and George H.W. Bush sails from a Giant Redwood on a parachute made from the skin of Katrina victims."
Thanks a lot assholes. The visual part of my brain just fucking exploded.
I hope when they hunt her down she looks like Mrs. Khrushchev. That will put an end to Henry Kissenger's plans to breed a race of super-gorgeous war criminals.
The only worse image of Henry the K wanking off to a picture of that poor woman is the one I have of David Brooks, uhm, "cheering" him on.
Thanks for ruining my evening, Wonkette. Now I'll have to go look at some tasteless sapphic action over there somewhere on the webs and cleanse myself.
It's nice to know the most powerful (or at least most self-important) men in the world have the tastes of 15 year old boys when it comes to jack-off fodder.
And Pelosi knows about this?
This is a little off-topic, but when that SUV ran over that mobsters head last night, did I hear a popping sound?
Now, that rivals the disgust you feel when you think about Kissinger in the act.
Look at her current pic - she's still too hot for the likes of them.
The most hilarious part of this whole debacle has to be that she refused.
"And, since they are so secretive, how do I know if this will be a nice gentlemen's dinner or men leaping around doing weird and distasteful things in a forest?"
How, indeed!
So Tricky Dick struck out, huh?
Further depictions of Bohemian Grove activities can be found in Harry Shearer's TEDDY BEARS PICNIC, an indie film of some years back. No real names of course. If the movie didn't do well at the box office, it is surely because it's completely accurate and people simply refused to believe it.
@Prozac: Vaguely homoerotic tendencies? Unstoppable desire to control environment? Jacking off to posters? Lord of the Flies viewed as instruction manual rather than cautionary tale?
If anyone ever needed more proof that politicians stopped developing mentally at 15, look no further. Though did we really need any more proof?
It's Diane Sawyer circa 1970.
The Daily Mail is the British version of The Onion except the staff think they work on a real newspaper (hilariously it backed Hitler in the thirties, it's owner Lord Rothermere was heartbroken when war broke out and promptly died in 1940). However in their offices rather than a skimpily clad model, they masturbate to the official portrait of the Queen (but think about Diana).
They really do need to update that naked womean painting over at Bohemian Grove.
C'mon now guys -- it's our lovely Annie Coulter, tucker supreme.
@Justin Zarkoff: I was able to handle the image of Kissinger and all the others, albeit with difficulty… then you had to go and push things over the edge with that crack whore reference.
Thanks. Thanks a freakin' lot.
"I'm flattered to be in the hearts and minds of such important people but my modelling career is in the past now. And, since they are so secretive, how do I know if this will be a nice gentlemen's dinner or men leaping around doing weird and distasteful things in a forest?"
Well you know what they say. "When the going gets weird and distasteful..." the weird and distasteful do just what amongst themselves exactly?
@sluggo: That is Pelosi.
It's one of those Iron John gatherings - men hug, cry, share the pain, drum (each other) in a circle...
She's a former Bond girl. She's secretly planning on hang gliding into the grove and dropping a gay bomb on the lot of 'em. That "leaping around and doing wierd and distateful things" was a Bond-esque double entendre hint.
Spy infiltrated Bohemian Grove back in the day. It's a bunch of drunk captains of industry dressing in drag and pissing on trees. Nothing to see, move on.
Is this the place where our leaders go to continue the cocksucking and assfucking rituals they got used to in secret societies like Skull & Bones?
@timbnyc44: Girlfriend needs to hit the gym, though.
We could all think of absolutely nowhere worse on the planet to be than at this weekend campout in July. UGH!
Ever seen Eyes Wide Shut?
That is basically what this is.
And no, I'm not joking.
I didn't think it was possible.
Another club.
Tell them it's Hillary.
Then provide them with a loaded revolver.
There's a fifteen year old Sears cataloge in the bathroom too. Old habbits die hard!
I'm not trying to brag but I think I had that issue.
I think the only one I have left is the one that
said that Bush Sr. may have had an affair, but
I didn't believe it. Still, it had some nice
photos of Ellen Barkin, Harrison Ford, Jerry Hall
and Marlon Brando shooting the finger. Marlon Brando was shooting the finger with two hands.
No pony.
Comment on this post
Reply by EmailLogin with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?