HUFFPO FIGHT!

When Mike McCurry posted his “Telecommunication companies have paid me to tell you that they should own the internets” thing, everyone else on HuffPo just got mad and wrote mean things about him, they didn’t demand that he take it outside. That’s why we like Cenk Uygur.

See, Michael Smerconish (and we don’t actually know who he is, but he blogs on HuffPo, so he’s a CELEBRITY) repeatedly called everyone in America a “sissy” in a HuffPost for not killing Zacarias Moussaoui. Uygur objected to this, and, reasonably, responded by calling Smerconish a “pussy” and challenging him to a fight. Like, a real fight.

Violence is seldom the answer. But it is in this case. An organized, controlled, consensual beat down. You agree to fight me, and I agree to crush you. Of course, I don’t want anyone getting the wrong message. I am not advocating vigilante justice against idiotic conservative talk show hosts. I don’t want anyone else to kick Smerconish’s ass. Just me.

Yes! Liberals be violent! There is hope for the party! Also, does this mean all the HuffPo bloggers will start fighting each other? We’d like to see Deepak Chopra and Peter Daou arm-wrestle. We think Chopra could probably win just with the power of his mind. But Daou would win the real way, with actual arms. Also, Rachel Sklar/Jay Rosen staring contest! It’s on!

The Final Word on Moussaoui [HuffPo]
Michael Smerconish is a Pussy [HuffPo]

READ MORE: deepak chopra, fights, huffington post, huffpo, jay rosen, peter daou, rachel, sklar”, violence, zacarias moussaoui

Rumors on the Internets: Ascension Can Wait — Jesus Has Some Blogging To Do

• Women’s Studies professors aren’t just violently pro-choice; they’ll hang up on you without exchanging pleasant good-byes. [Michelle Malkin]
• God loves your embarrassingly out-of-date Blackberry just the way it is. [HuffPo]
• Protestants — surprisingly more oppressed than every branch of government would suggest. [Evangelical Outpost]
• Islam Does America: A Play in Three Awesomely Xenophobic Acts. [Crooked Timber]
• New Orleans makes Tulane Law students fishers of unarmed, possibly dangerous men. [TalkLeft]

READ MORE: abortion, bloggers, blogs, christianity, deepak chopra, feminism, god, islam, new orleans, oppression, religion, rumors on the internets

Rumors on the Internets: Happiness is Discovering Someone Less Cool Than You Are

• McCain disses his crew to hang with head Heather, Falwell. Blogger ‘Eternal Hope’ won’t idly tolerate all their intolerance. [Political Cortex]
• Jay Tea laments Condi’s decision to retract her Thousands Mistakes Made statement. You’re allowed to say [thousands of] silly things when you’re cute and popular. [Wizbang]
• Research indicates: We all hate that annoying guy who quotes from The Will to Power. [Volokh Conspiracy]
• Deepak Chopra offers relaxation techniques to handle the stresses of a world run by menacing politicans and scoundrelly terrorists. [HuffPo]
• Dems prove you’re only as cool as your least cool friend. [Q and O]

READ MORE: bloggers, blogs, condoleezza rice, deepak chopra, huffpo, jerry falwell, john mccain, rumors on the internets

Rumors on the Internets: Bloggers Have All the Answers

• Would a clandestine Conservative buy-out of the NYT curb the influence of liberal media? John Hawkins thinks not. Liberals will travel the earth in search of another outlet to control — until the haunting mass appeal of conservative ideology takes root. [Right Wing News]
• “My folks are driving me nuts. How can I get them to understand that I really do know it all at fifteen?” Blogger Joe offers a frustrated teen some words of encouragement, unsolicited sartorial advice, and some fun things to look forward to as he ages: embarrassing yearbook photos, Tim McGraw concerts, and a treatable case of 24-hour Republicanism. [The Evangelical Outpost]
• Blogger Jay interviews Alabama Congressman Robert Aderholt to uncover the truth behind his Constitution Restoration Act. Aderholt tells you what it is, why you need it, and how cautious optimism is keeping it alive. [Stop The ACLU]
• Deepak Chopra answers the questions of your soul. Disillusioned Americans are prescribed a heaping dose of reality to handle the duties of Superpower. [HuffPo]
• Mike Pechar confirms that centuries-old suspicion that the French really like their language. The blogger scolds the stubborn and dramatic Chirac, who abruptly left an EU summit after one of his countrymen addressed the attendees in English. [The Jawa Report]

READ MORE: Media, Republicans, bias, bloggers, blogs, deepak chopra, liberals, new york times, robert aderholt, rumors on the internets

Gossip Roundup: Too Much Coop’?

• Washington Whispers: Laura Bush had coconut cake with green icing and pink flowers for her 59th birthday… John McCain recently met with Jerry Falwell… Madeleine Albright used her pins and brooches to make diplomatic signals… CIA budget said to be $44b… Deepak Chopra will speak to Pentagon employees about managing stress… [USN&WR]
• Page Six: Howell Raines suspected as the inspiration for raunchy sex novel. [NYP]
• Liz Smith: Will viewers overdose on Anderson Cooper like they did with “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” [NYP]

READ MORE: CIA, Pentagon, Personalities, anderson cooper, deepak chopra, howell raines, jerry falwell, john mccain, laura bush, madeleine albright