National Blog Like an Idiot Year

When a child is acting up, demanding attention, often the best strategy to correct their behavior is to ignore them — deprive them of the attention they crave, to demonstrate that it’s best won with good behavior. We have tried that, o’er these last few weeks, with playwright/satirist/critic/author/blogger David Mamet. But today, well, we’re giving in. We never said we were good with kids. And, really, can you blame us?
It is difficult to express in text the sound we made when we saw this cartoon. But it was something very close to “AAAAARRGH,” actually. Your keen ear for casual speech hasn’t failed you this time, Dave! Though that doesn’t really make up for the fact that this is the stupidest thing we’ve seen all week, and we watched The Situation Room on Tuesday.

National “Talk Like a Pirate” Decade [HuffPo]
Earlier: The Quail Variations
An Open Letter to David Mamet

READ MORE: cartoons, david mamet, editorial cartoons, huffpo, pirates, unfunny pictures

Even More Fun With Spam: Shame On Us

We fell for it again:
Based its mastery of topical political commentary, this one looks to actually be from Huffington Post blogger/cartoonist David Mamet.

Bring It On (HAHAHA GET IT?) [HuffPo]

(Confidential to D.M.: WE GET IT. It’s March now, by the way. And, uh, ahem.)

READ MORE: cartoons, david mamet, dick cheney, email, fun with spam, hunting accidents, i mean honestly it’s been weeks now, jesus christ give it a rest, spam

More Unfunny Cartoons: Gaggle Us With a Spoon

Lately we’ve been making fun of lefty playwright David Mamet’s forays into editorial cartooning. But the left has no monopoly on lame cartoons.

Head over to NewsBusters, a site devoted to “exposing and combating liberal media bias,” and check out Gaggle, “a daily comic strip about the Washington press corps and Larry the press secretary. Larry deals with the shenanigans of reporters who couldn’t imagine anyone voting for a Republican.”

To give you a sense of the Gaggle cartoons, here’s the funniest one currently on the page:

Huh? But if they blacked out that third frame, now that would be funny — in a Dadaist sort of way…

Gaggle [NewsBusters]

Earlier: An Open Letter to David Mamet
The Quail Variations

READ MORE: Media, cartoons, david mamet, editorial cartoons, newsbusters, unfunny pictures

An Open Letter to David Mamet

David:

We like you, we really do. One of us used to study theater, and there’s no doubt in our minds that you’re one of the great American playwrights. Man, even Ronin was really awesome! This is why this hurts us so much: Please don’t blog. Please. Just stop.

If you’re not willing to stop blogging, please stop posting your cartoons on your blog. Having made fun of you for this already, we were extremely dismayed to find that you’d done it again. This one, Dave, this one is even worse. Words cannot begin to express how terrible that cartoon is. We even tried to make another cartoon that was even worse, just to try to show you where you went wrong, but we don’t actually think it succeeded in out-sucking yours. Look:

Dave. You’re — you’re fucking killing us, Dave. You’re — it’s just, Dave, for fuckssake, we don’t (pause) — we don’t write fucking plays, Dave, and we’d prefer it if you didn’t blog.

Yours,
Wonkette

The White House Addresses a Threat [HuffPo]
Earlier: We’re Gonna Keep This Up ‘till We Get an Embassy Bombed
The Quail Variations

READ MORE: cartoons, david mamet, desperate attempts not to lose respect for writers who are otherwise pretty decent, dick cheney, editorial cartoons, hunting accidents, unfunny pictures

We’re Gonna Keep This Up ‘till We Get an Embassy Bombed

How “Christ, What an Asshole!” is the Answer to the New Yorker Magazine Caption Contest [Modern Arthur]
Earlier: The Quail Variations

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, cartoons, david mamet, dick cheney, editorial cartoons, guns, hunting accidents, jokes in poor taste

The Quail Variations

David Mamet, playwright, screenwriter, director, author, blogger… and, apparently, editorial cartoonist.
This cartoon is currently up on the HuffPo front page. Seriously. It’s only very slightly more legible there.

Our initial reaction was to say, “stick to controlling William H. Macy like a foul-mouthed marionette, Dave, and work on your penmanship.” But we had a change of heart — that’s not the way the blogosphere works! The great thing about Citizen Media is that anyone can do anything, regardless of ability, and, as long as they’re already a successful Hollywood insider, it can reach a mass audience! Why leave “political cartooning” to those Big Media Fatcats? Hell, we could do it if we wanted to! In fact, we did:
It needs some crosshatching, and a couple of those little Thomas Nast labels that tell you what stuff represents, but New Media is all about First Drafts and Unfiltered Opinions. Whaddya think of that, Tom Toles? You’re not such a hotshot now, are ya?

Masters of Multitasking [HuffPo]

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, arts and crafts, blogs, cartoons, citizen media, david mamet, dick cheney, huffpo, hunting accidents, people who should stick to their day jobs, tom toles

Tom Tancredo Keeps American Buffalo Alive

We were pointed to an article in the Rocky Mountain News today that offered a rare insight into the office atmosphere of Colorado representative Tom Tancredo. Apparently, strict communication rules are enforced by everyone who works in or communicates with Tancredo’s office, and those rules basically boil down to: speak in the hard-boiled tone of David Mamet’s classic dramas.

Throughout the article, Tancredo and his staffers are shown peppering their language with cursewords, adding colorful phrases and overall speaking in clipped monosyllable that we can easily imagine being barked aloud by the Al Pacinos and the William Macys of the world:

“I want this underlying bill. That’s what I want. There are so many fuckin’ egos involved in this already.”

“It’s kind of a new role for you, trying to hold shit together instead of blowing it apart.”

“You got leadership to blink. Now I think they’re squinting.”

“You’re not going to let them outflank the Tanc, are you?”

And our favorite, from Tancredo himself:

“This hurts me? Hurt me like this all day long. Hurt me. Hurt me. That kind of shit doesn’t hurt me.”

Damn. I’m telling you. This is good dialogue. You don’t need to guess Tancredo’s credo. It’s: always be closing. America’s Mexican border, that is. — DCEIVER

READ MORE: david mamet, tom tancredo