Welcome to the OKC, Bitch

Oh, those crazy, crazy Oklahoma City nights.

The top aide in Oklahoma to Senator Jim Inhofe is hospitalized in fair condition after apparently being beaten, police said.

John Collison, 32, of Edmond has fractures to his face, pelvis, ribs and wrist plus an injured to his jaw and a liver contusion, according to Sgt. Paco Balderrama.

Paramedics found Collison about 4 a.m. Sunday lying on a loading dock outside Bricktown Ballpark in downtown Oklahoma City.

At the hospital, Collison told police he couldn’t remember anything that happened after 10:30 p.m. Saturday — not even being attacked.

If you name your nightlife district “Bricktown,” you’re just asking for shit like this to happen.

The AP says Collison wasn’t robbed, so we must assume that an enraged constituent is to blame. It happens to congressional aides across the country every day. You’re walking out of the ballpark when a gentleman of voting age asks you a pointed question about your boss’ rider on the transportation omnibus bill, next thing you know, the debate’s turned ugly and some guy’s hurled the neighborhood’s titular “brick” at your head while shouting himself hoarse about the Alternative Minimum Tax.

Inhofe’s top aide beaten, hospitalized [News-Star]

READ MORE: Oklahoma, bricks, congressional aides, crime, jim inhofe, oklahoma city, senate, staffers, violence

BREAKING: HOT CONGRESSIONAL AIDE DISCOVERED

Whoever emailed this to us, well, we weren’t really sure what to do with it. So here it is:

Subject: okay, HOT staffer — in rollcall page 34 - Alicia Campbell

like smokin’ hot

Ladies and Gentlemen, Alicia Campbell, aide to Rep. Elton Gallegly (R-CA) LC to Rep. Dan Lungren (R-CA) (ok, so we didn’t actually read Roll Call today, sue us):
Suppose we may as well solicit more of these. Hill Staffer Hotties competition, anyone? If you guys can manage to send in enough pictures and names (and maybe some slightly more detailed descriptions), we could make this happen.

READ MORE: Personalities, congress, congressional aides, hill staffers, hotties