Wonkette’s Week in Review: The Not-So-Idle-Hands Edition

• Rep. Cynthia McKinney hits a Capitol Police officer with her cell phone. We’ve been all over this one — our coverage is collected here (scroll down).

• Another story we’ve been loving: Fingergate, in which Justice Antonin Scalia was photographed making a debatably obscene — but probably still rude — hand gesture.

• We thought those were Silvio Berlusconi’s hands around that traffic cop’s waist. Alas, we were mistaken. Sorry about that.

• Speaking of dirtiness… Media Matters works hard to keep the mainstream media free of conservative bias, but they can’t keep their men’s room free of filth. And they can’t keep their employees from leaking (haha) internal memos to Wonkette.

• The D.C. Examiner has a similar problem.
  
• Michael Scanlon and Emily Miller: the plot thickens. Check out the money quote from Jack Abramoff: “She tried to blow up me and scanlon, but blew up the entire Capitol instead.”

• Still more on Ben Domenech: the results of Wonkette’s exclusive investigation (featuring real reporting!) into why he left Regnery Publishing.

• Bush visits Mexico. Photographic hilarity ensues.

• Condi generates funny photos too when she travels.

• The Army lifts its ban on tattoos.

• As for hard news last week, Andrew Card announced his resignation as White House Chief of Staff. (It’s taking all of our willpower, but we will refrain from making lame puns on his last name.) More personnel departures may be on the way.

• Meanwhile, in happier news for the Administration, Donald Rumsfeld has managed to locate those weapons of mass destruction. (The missiles in the picture look like long-range ICBMs.)

• Finally, Katherine Harris remains photogenic.

READ MORE: Andy Card, White House, abramoff, andrew card, antonin scalia, ben domenech, bush, cleanliness, condi, condoleezza rice, cynthia mckinney, dc examiner, donald rumsfeld, emails, emily miller, george w. bush, jack abramoff, katherine harris, media matters, memos, michael scanlon, non-obscene gestures, obscene gestures, silvio berlusconi, week in review

Media Matters: If You Ignore Us, We Will Go Away

Oh, Media Matters. This was almost too much even for relentless sadists like us:

Subject: Wonkette issue
From: D———
Date: Thu, March 30, 2006
To: mm-staff
Priority: Normal

Lots of people have been discussing why someone might be forwarding our internal emails to a blogger. The other question is why the blogger at Wonkette might want to post mundane details about internal workings.

In terms of Wonkette, it might be that someone there wished they worked here. [emphasis oh so ours] Or it might be because they aren’t getting enough interesting tips and are reduced to talking about really petty things. Regardless, it strikes me as really dumb.

In terms of internal motivations, it is either a discontent employee with a grudge or someone being stupid. My money is on the disgrunlted, but that’s just because I know all of us are smart folks.

But please don’t let this issue take up any more of your thoughts. If you want to discuss, please swing by and grab Jamo or me. More email traffic on this is just plain silly.

And, yes, we agree. This is just plain silly:
Media Matters! Dear, sweet, gentle Media Matters! We like you! Really, we do! It might not be “jealousy” per se (we might be a bit squeamish about cleanliness to work in your swingin’ office), but maybe simple affection.

And seriously, we wouldn’t pick on you if other people sent us internal communication half as funny.

(Consider that an assignment, readers!)

Earlier: Most Meanspirited Post of the Day
Report: Male Employees at Media Matters Are Total Fucking Slobs
Update: Men At Media Matters Still Total Fucking Slobs

READ MORE: cleanliness, emails, internal emails, jealousy, media matters, memos, wonkette

More Fun With Contextual Advertising

After we exposed the bathroom difficulties of the men of Media Matters, DCist published this helpful primer on ass-wiping protocols, as well as other matters of bathroom etiquette.

We linked to it last night, and now we’d like to mention it again. A reader just pointed out that the contextual ads on the DCist page, generated automatically from the page content using a Google algorithm, “are even more disgusting than the article.”

In case you’re having troubled reading them, the ads at the top of the page are entitled: “Fishy Vaginal Odor?”, “Bidet Seat 1 Cent Sale”, “The DivaCup Menstrual Cup,” and “Avant Instant Sanitizers.”

The sidebar ad, for a new movie called “Brick,” is more puzzling. We initially thought that the ad for “Brick” was triggered by the post’s focus on shit, but the actual word “shit” appears nowhere on the page. So it remains a mystery.

Also, take a look at this comment to the DCist post:

I have inside information on one of Fox News’ Beltway Boys: One has been spotted eating cottage cheese in the men’s room. Do you have any tips on proper bathroom manners, like eating cottage cheese?

We may live to regret this — but if you can confirm or deny the cottage cheese story, please drop us a line.

Hygiene Should Matter at Media Matters [DCist]

Earlier: Most Meanspirited Post of the Day
God Bless Contextual Advertising

READ MORE: Funny Pictures, advertising, ass-wiping, cleanliness, fecal matter, google, inappropriate contextual advertising, media matters

Metro Section: Pretty Random Crap

• DCist offers some ass-wiping pointers for the Media Matters men. We’ll probably have more to say about this tomorrow. For now, please read this — it’s some funny shit. And be sure to check out this comment. [DCist]

• If you still have an appetite, go fry up some bacon. [DCeiver]

• Mmm, we might just go do that. We bloggers are stuck at home tonight, while our mainstream media stepsisters attend a big ball. [FishBowlDC]

• Al Kamen has some interesting gossip on possible changes in the Cabinet and at the State Department. [WP]

• Another TV show filming in D.C.? Will they ever learn? [Big Head Rob]

• Washington is visited by Greece’s highly attractive foreign minister. Her name is Dora, you’d like to explore her. [WP]

• More on Condi’s hair — because we can’t help ourselves. [Princess Sparkle Pony]

READ MORE: ass-wiping, bacon, cabinet, cleanliness, condi, condoleezza rice, department of state, fecal matter, greece, hair, hotties, media matters, metro, metro section, resignations, state department, televison

Update: Men at Media Matters Still Total Fucking Slobs

The good people are Media Matter for America: hard at work fighting conservative bias, still pissing off the janitorial staff:

Subject: Men’s bathroom….again
From: [Redacted]
Date: Mon, March 27, 2006 12:51 pm
To: [Everyone with a penis]
Priority: High

I’m sorry to have to send another e-mail about the men’s bathroom, but Jenny was on the receiving end of an unfortunate tirade from the building engineer (wait….assistant building engineer) a few minutes ago about a clogged toilet from this morning. I know that none of you would intentionally “stuff” a toilet, but he seems to think that someone from this office is doing just that. I’m not sure how to suggest to you guys to be conscious of what’s going down there (and I know it sounds ridiculous), but please try. They already hate us, so let’s try to play nice.

Thanks!
S——-
Media Matters for America

Guys — you may not think this is a big deal, but we happen to know that Media Research Council keeps their place neat as a fucking whistle — ‘cause you never know when Exxon’s gonna stop by to see how their money’s being spent. You think Soros wants to keep you guys afloat if you can’t pick up after yourselves?

Earlier: Report: Male Employees at Media Matters are Total Fucking Slobs

READ MORE: cleanliness, emails, exxon, george soros, liberals, media matters, media research center, memos