Wonkette

There, now we've made up for all the Snorg girl comments. Sailors and bears -- see, there's something for everyone.

Hey! Marion Barry may reek of urine and crack (and failure, and corruption, and whiskey/cough medicine shooters), but he most certainly is not "teen-aged." I'll thank you not to cast that aspersion.

I really thought you were joking about the Knut-Leo-Annie thing.

On a related subject, Knut is cute and all, but in the final assessment, he's only one color. Loser! Long Live the Stick!

I can't wait for the critter to chomp off someone's nose. Ooooo, look how cute!

@Terry: Best. Panda. Ever.

If Larry Small had secured the future of The Stick at the National Zoo he would have been forgiven a few more months of personal home repairs.

Big celeb feud - Madonna and Angelina Jolie both want to adopt the orphan cub.

Wait a minute... that's no polar bear, that's a SLEESTAK cub!

I like how the Germans call them "ice bears" rather than polar bears. Way cuter.

@Princess Sparkle Pony: That's cuz 'polar' sounds too much like, well, "Poland"

@flatlands:
"If Larry Small had secured the future of The Stick at the National Zoo he would have been forgiven a few more months of personal home repairs."

Absolutely. I'd have cleaned his frickin chandelier for him myself.

Good idea by the folks in the video. Let's take this creature that is a year away from being a gigantic ferocious death-dealing predator, and instill both a casual comfort with the presence of people and a taste for human flesh.

All right, dammit, the thing is cute.

See the Eagle thread to know how I feel about animals. To saum it all up here: They are all adulterous and vile and I do not know why leftists like them so much!!!!! The same implications go for the Knut/Butterstick controversy, as well. Knut, if ever introduced to Butterstick, domestically or in the wild, would end up with Knut being torn to pieces in an instant with human onlookers, so denied of the animal instincts for 1 million years would be startled and grief stricken to how these two balls of fluff would ever cause a ruckus of any kind.

Cheney wants to bbq Knute

Cracked-out, pissed-pants Butterstick will look positively corporate-ready compared to Knut, once the latter hits Love Parade.

@TheHillaryHasEyes: No way, I've got money on the real Bear. Panda's eat bamboo for gawd's sake. Knut munches the Stick in 10 mins or less.

True story: Yellowstone Park, picnic table. Adorable lumbering bear comes bumbling along. Midwestern family, raised on Disney nature films, scatter. Watch a bit. Thinks, "Awww, Yogi's soooo cuuuuute!" Cautiously approach bear rummaging table, with no ill effects.

Dad poses 2-year-old, golden-locked daughter on table, pulls back to view Super 8 camera (okay, old, true story) and decides picture of bumbling Yogi squatting next to table where Goldilocks lacks a certain... Interactivity. Pours gobs of honey on his toddler daughter's hands so it runs down in gooey streams.

Pulls back, expecting to capture Kodak Moment of Yogi delicately licking the honey off of shyly giggling, sun-kissed 2-year-old girl's hands.

Instead captures on film film of Yogi EATING his daughter's hands. Well most. Left the nubs. No mention if the bear got most of the honey or left in embarressment at shrieking bi-pedal hominoids.

Regrettably, this was before YouTube, so said girl only got a mention in papers (and then to National Lampoon of my older brother's that I remember to this day), and not international super-stardom. Would have been the Zapruder of its time.

Disney isn't real life people. Put the bear down and pick up the tranquilizer gun.

And, I think parents would respect their sullen progeny much more if they turned into 3/4 tons of foam-mouthed, fur-clad, feral-clawed, sharp-toothed engines of carnage after clearing puberty. Would definately make those Sweet Sixteen parties more fun to watch.

(Spring break rampages don't count)